tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post508234618646446201..comments2023-04-05T18:50:52.967-05:00Comments on Our Sweeter Approach to Life: Dom or HOH?Bakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16654399899358402634noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-4866580420240339552018-06-27T11:04:17.064-05:002018-06-27T11:04:17.064-05:00Awesome way to put it, Minelle!
--BakerAwesome way to put it, Minelle!<br /><br />--BakerBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654399899358402634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-51556035062247310162018-06-23T08:06:28.680-05:002018-06-23T08:06:28.680-05:00Gosh, good question. I don't think we use labe...Gosh, good question. I don't think we use labels unless we are referring to this blogging or story world!<br />My Scotsman hates those labels and feels uncomfortable with them. Therefore, we just do what we do when we do it!Minielle Labraunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16206283897752166320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-90884750516556692582018-06-22T08:31:40.043-05:002018-06-22T08:31:40.043-05:00NJ, I appreciate your insight here. It's a go...NJ, I appreciate your insight here. It's a good evolution of sorts, one I know each of us out here is on. It's a process, that's for sure.<br /><br />--BakerBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654399899358402634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-15908671184501317042018-06-22T08:28:54.719-05:002018-06-22T08:28:54.719-05:00Totally agree, Cat. Ever couple is different. Th...Totally agree, Cat. Ever couple is different. That's what makes us special.<br /><br />I love how you put that he was the husband and his word is law. Your butt paying the price cracked me up because surely, sweet innocent Cat never ever got into trouble. <br /><br />Oh, wait...aren't you the one who coined the phrase 'barn burner'? Hmmm...I wonder where you got that idea??? Lol!!! <br />--BakerBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654399899358402634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-57290035643412715492018-06-22T08:24:43.596-05:002018-06-22T08:24:43.596-05:00Windy, you are so right!!! I love the HIB, Hoss i...Windy, you are so right!!! I love the HIB, Hoss is Boss, I can so get with that. We are all still learning, that's the best part.<br /><br />--BakerBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654399899358402634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-84342226821842596302018-06-21T15:10:26.201-05:002018-06-21T15:10:26.201-05:00Baker, I don't really think I can add good ins...Baker, I don't really think I can add good insight to this one because I have read all the comments already and I am learning right along with you here. <br /><br />But, my first instinct and I am still feeling it, is just to tell you that, "Hoss is Boss." :)<br /><br />WindyWindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00412465407484676318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-79566826203206441172018-06-20T10:38:25.183-05:002018-06-20T10:38:25.183-05:00Makes sense how things definitely evolve and each ...Makes sense how things definitely evolve and each couple makes their own way. I appreciate your perspective on how it takes guys sometimes awhile to resolve it in their minds.me thinks it takes women some time too.<br />--BakerBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654399899358402634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-12217546248058039872018-06-19T20:21:29.654-05:002018-06-19T20:21:29.654-05:00Well hells bells, Baker...you could ask this quest...Well hells bells, Baker...you could ask this question of 50 different couples and get 100 different answers. I had never heard of any of these terms when I was married to my ex...he was simply the husband and his word was law and my butt paid the price when I 'broke the law'. LOL <br /><br />Bottom line...whatever fits a couple's dynamic and comfort zone is what they should use. <br /><br />Hugs and blessings...CatCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14266606975978680188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-79402847325991827832018-06-19T19:52:12.011-05:002018-06-19T19:52:12.011-05:00I was intrigued by this post, Baker ... some time ...I was intrigued by this post, Baker ... some time ago I started a post titled 'When Fledgling HoH meets Bedroom Dom' ... however I didn't go much further than the title. It's related to an observation I've made ... when we started down this path, the primary reason was to explore the evolution of a long term D/s bedroom relationship to something more full time. My observation of Frank is there is a bit of a mind meld going on between the two 'personalities' (for lack of a better term) ... not anything I can quite put into words just yet but it's there. So perhaps, like us, altho you are further along the ttwd continuum, there is an evolutionary process happening for you ... sort of the reverse of ours ... if any of that makes sense :)) ... and 'Sir' is the name I am most comfortable with but its not used all the time ... njNoraJeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08179459370726719764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-51216496691606771412018-06-19T18:18:27.967-05:002018-06-19T18:18:27.967-05:00When we first landed in the Domestic Discipline wo...When we first landed in the Domestic Discipline world many moons ago Big Brother was established on tv. So HoH seemed funny to us. That being said even 2 years later Dom and sub bothered me when I joined chat rooms. Back then I associated it with BDSM and bedroom antics- or people who must be way more 'advanced' than us. <br /><br />It wasn't until a "Dom" challenged my line of thinking by simply laughing at me during a conversation and said " Xxxx you have ALWAYS been D/s". <br /><br />I know for many TiH's this line of thinking isn't popular, but Dd is just an aspect that falls under the D/s umbrella. You can't have Domestic Discipline without D/s....Domination and submission. He Dominates by making and enforcing the rules, and 'you' submit by following or submitting to punishment. I did understand that, (eventually) but what about Dom and Sub? That didn't seem to fit us...until sub did eventually fit me. Not in a way depicted on Tumblr, but in our daily life. I discovered that is who I was/am.<br /> Do I consider B a DOM? MY DOM? Meh...he's my husband in a D/s dynamic. I never call him my Dom. If I am in like minded circles I believe it to be understood .<br /><br />So what do I call him? His name. LOL. On occasion, VERY RARELY he expects me to answer a question, " Yes Sir". On occasion I have been moved by the moment that I refer to him as Sir on my own. He has told me those times mean the most as he knows it is from the heart.<br /><br />If I am to look at your last paragraph and where we arrived in 6 years I would say that here there is no difference between Hoh and Dom. B is always in both modes...or if life gets in the way the volume on both modes goes down together. It took him a long time to rectify in his mind that Dom/Husband/HOH were all the same person. <br /><br />williewilliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01907855123777628267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-77374928199991776442018-06-19T11:58:22.731-05:002018-06-19T11:58:22.731-05:00Miss Ella,
We use Sir and Ma'am alot here and...Miss Ella, <br />We use Sir and Ma'am alot here and originally Hoss was very uncomfortable with me calling him sir, so that is only used in the privacy of our room. I like your use of Boss or mister, those are both very original. Thanks for jumping in with your ideas. Very helpful.<br />--BakerBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654399899358402634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-25152893856829805332018-06-19T11:38:11.515-05:002018-06-19T11:38:11.515-05:00Sam has never liked the HOH designation. He says ...Sam has never liked the HOH designation. He says it sounds like a census form. Around here, I think "Boss" would be something with which we are both comfortable. When I tell him that I love him, I usually include "mister" in the phrase. I also use "sir," but that probably doesn't count since I use "sir" and "ma'am" with mostly everyone.<br /><br />Hugs From Ella Ellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04236225732606002291noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-81249697499867392462018-06-19T11:25:34.998-05:002018-06-19T11:25:34.998-05:00Oh,PK, you and Bleue,Roz and Fondles have got me t...Oh,PK, you and Bleue,Roz and Fondles have got me thinking. Thanks for your perspective on word choices as well. I think of husband too,but that for us doesn't quite fit the entire portrait. In my mind,my man,is more than that, but than they all are...Good food for thought. Thanks!<br />--BakerBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654399899358402634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-72324440794051160832018-06-19T11:22:44.322-05:002018-06-19T11:22:44.322-05:00Thanks, your perspective isn't even one I expl...Thanks, your perspective isn't even one I explored here, but wow,that makes perfect sense on how you approached it. Very interesting. I'm going to ponder that idea some more. I think I'm being a bit narrow minded in my word choices. <br /><br />--BakerBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654399899358402634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-33237991403716231352018-06-19T11:20:04.623-05:002018-06-19T11:20:04.623-05:00Thanks, Roz, I do think you are right. There is a...Thanks, Roz, I do think you are right. There is an ebb and flow to it all between what people incorporate in to their relationships. It shows us our ubiqueness in our individual approach to ttwd or DD or whatever we call it.<br />--BakerBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654399899358402634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-79084458373844011242018-06-19T11:17:33.025-05:002018-06-19T11:17:33.025-05:00Thanks, Fondles,
I think the terminology will be d...Thanks, Fondles,<br />I think the terminology will be different for each couple. I definitely appreciate your input. I think your description fits you both perfectly.<br />--BakerBakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16654399899358402634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-46671325347772376982018-06-19T09:25:05.533-05:002018-06-19T09:25:05.533-05:00It is an interesting question. But I don't hav...It is an interesting question. But I don't have an answer for us. HOH isn't exactly right because for so many years I felt like the HOH. Only in the fact that I ran the house, the kids, paid bills, I even cooked back in the day. Now most everything is done together. TTWD goes up and down and mostly I just think of him as my husband and that term has a special meaning for me.PKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02050453501744475319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-49835001756670347032018-06-19T07:22:02.887-05:002018-06-19T07:22:02.887-05:00We have gone through different labels throughout t...We have gone through different labels throughout the years. Dom/sub, always. Master and slave, when our lifestyle was intense. 24/7 and all consuming. A couple of years ago we landed on "Owner/property" and for me, that's perfect. I totally get what you mean, there is a different tone in the words and "Dom" works wonderfully as a verb. I like your perspective of HoH being more everyday/business manager. We don't have a word for that side of things but I see how it could apply :-)Bleue D'âmehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12945301989408243513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-3032324849847369952018-06-19T03:23:09.951-05:002018-06-19T03:23:09.951-05:00Hi Baker, great question! I think we tend to want ...Hi Baker, great question! I think we tend to want to label things in order to make sense of them. <br /><br />I don't know what others might think but to me an HoH could also be referred to as a Dom as they are head of household and are the ultimate decision maker etc. Not necessarily Dom in the BDSM sense. Having said that though, a lot of couples who practice DD also incorporate other aspects of ttwd into their relationship as well (not all of course).<br /><br />Hugs <br />Roz Rozhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14326826956049047973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5478826536181113761.post-31982267922798749512018-06-19T03:18:27.384-05:002018-06-19T03:18:27.384-05:00I first read about TTWD from the TiH viewpoint, an...I first read about TTWD from the TiH viewpoint, and altho I liked the mindset it didn't really fit the lifestyle (not married and all) <br /><br />We read more and thought Dom/sub was it. But as you might know now we're more Daddy and little. I think of myself as his girl, and he's my Daddy Dom. I don't think I ever differentiate between Daddy and Dom. They're one and the same for us. <br /><br />But i do understand what you mean by "Dom"ing you. <br /><br />Fondleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03538688586112598309noreply@blogger.com