Happy New Year!

I bid 2016 goodbye and welcome 2017 with open arms!  

To think that last year at this time, I knew little to nothing of ttwd/dd.  I have learned so much from each of you!  Thank you for teaching me and lending a listening ear or a heartfelt thought when it was needed.  I appreciate each one of you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support, encouragement and kindness.

May all your days be filled with love and blessing the whole year through.  Happy New Year!

  --Baker

Switch Flipped

Awww, the busyness of the season is slowly ebbing away as we edge towards the new year.  This week will be slower and more focused on cleaning and resting.  That's pretty much the only items on the schedule for us this week.  The kids are not happy about the deep cleaning part and really, neither am I, but it needs to be done.  The hustle and bustle of the holidays take their toll and our little house is feeling the effects.  So, decluttering is not one of my favorite past times, but with all the new items from Christmas and just general pack rat habits, things need to be set to order again.

I was already planning to do this on my own, but my sweet man decided to help me.  Let me lay out yesterday for you.

Yesterday was spent away from home with two separate sets of,Christmases with the in-laws.  We spent time with my mother in law and then with my father in law and step mother in law.  All went very well.  Yes, I was able to successfully enjoy my in-laws (including my sister in laws that I'd struggled with right before Thanksgiving) and my man was pleased.  All was going very well until the trip home.  I was reading and he was driving.  He was tired and wanted to engage in conversation the last while of our drive to help him stay awake and focused.  I put my phone down and he asked about the schedule for the week.  He asked for a pen and paper.  I said I had none and I felt my hackles rise up. He handed me his phone in which to take notes on.  I was already groaning on the inside.

My attitude began to appear.  I sighed, gave a dirty look and went quiet.  Um, I will admit right here is where the switch was flipped, in both of us.   I should have stopped right then and there and put my submissive role as his wife to good use.  I did not.  This was to help him get through the drive home, not necessarily to engage in the huge issue it became simply because I was not in the mood to talk or discuss anything.

I did not want to spend the last of the drive home writing a list.  I wanted to read a book.  I went from being a submissive wife wanting to work together to keep him awake to a complete and utter grouch. He had no choice, but to deal with the wife at hand and went into full HOH mode. Woe to the wife who stood in his way.  The stern voice came out and I was to listen.  When I tried to argue (yes, I know, not a bright move on my part) he began to lecture.  Our children thankfully were either sleeping or plugged into their devices of entertainment in the back seats.  The lecture was not for their ears anyway, but for mine and mine only.  When the attitude that I had copped did not dissipate he became silent.  Then, in what I will describe as a barely audible growl, I was told that we would discuss this at home in T minus 20 minutes.  I decided that silence was better than trying to argue my way out of things.  Had I not already made things difficult enough for myself with all of the glares, sighs and arguing already? Instead I sat and contemplated how I again got into this situation with my sweet man. Things had been going along, so well all day.  Why did I not choose my words carefully or still my grumblings before it became an issue?  I know I need help keeping on target when it comes to cleaning.  Those flip flops of the tummy began and I thought hard on a way out of this mess, but my words and expressions had already sealed my fate.  

We arrived home and he quietly told me to make sure everyone was settled and I was to come to him quickly afterwards.  I tried hard to get everyone to sit and watch a movie upstairs far away from our room.  Once everyone was reasonably situated I went to him.  I locked our door and joined him on the bed.  There was discussion on my disrespectful attitude was unacceptable. Also, how I was to comply with making a list for this week, so things could be accomplished in a timely manner..  Yes, I know, I've already told you my detest for lists. He wanted the list written out, so it would be easier for me to follow and for him to lend encouragement when I became frustrated.  I knew I needed his help to stay focused and a list does that well for me.  I was reminded of what I said I wanted and needed to accomplish for the rest of the week.  These are things I had told him I needed to get done, but he wanted it written out.

I do not like this part of things.  I needed it detailed and written in a way that I would not easily become overwhelmed.  My attitude was not helpful here.  Again with the list I think in my head and it shows on my face, for that I am certain.  He did not appreciate my attitude.  I was spanked quite soundly once this was said.  He knew I needed help in this area as it is much easier for me to sit and read all day long with only minor accomplishments made, especially if there is no pressing deadline to meet.  This is to be a week of major accomplishments so we begin our new year ready for all the busyness that comes with a large family. 

I have listened well and the list was wrote last evening.  I have been working steadily on the list today.

I love that he is very willing to help me in this area.  Before ttwd/dd I would have simply ignored his help.  I would have plugged along at my own pace doing things slowly and not completed the whole task.  I have been known to leave things on the back burner so to speak for ages.  I have been effectively listening to my sweet man.  I am making progress and in this progress we are growing closer together.

--Baker

Merry Christmas!

I know the hour is late and most, if not all, the well wishes for a Merry Christmas have been said.  I still wanted to let everyone know that I have been thinking of each of you.  I pray your Christmas has been peaceful and filled with lots of love this year!  Happy Birthday to Jesus!

We had a lovely, busy Christmas and Santa was very good to all of us.   Hope you had a blessed day as well!  For funsies, I thought I'd leave you with a little Christmas pet humor as my gift to you!  Hope it provides you with a smile!  

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

--Baker and Hoss

Crazy Week, But Then Spank Heavens!

Baby, it’s cold outside.  A perfect day to share a loving little spanking story, but I do want to get something off my chest before I share this story though.

I spent a great deal of my week frustrated and feeling negative towards blogging.  I posted on Monday and as the comments rolled in my heart sank after several of you found concern in what I had written. I wanted the post to convey how I had almost ruined an entire night of our weekend away by being overly controlling.  The post was a failure in that regard.  Many of you were concerned that my loving husband was over the top in using an implement twice that I did not like.  If I wrote my post in a way that evoked those feelings, I apologize.  I can assure you neither spanking lasted over 20 or so swats and neither left me with any lasting damage.  He simply stopped the first spanking, because he was far too concerned he would spank someplace other than my bottom because I was dancing around so much.  Besides the fact I was not submitting to the discipline and he will usually wait until I can readily submit if I am putting up that kind of fuss.

I wrote the post hoping to help you understand my struggle with control and how upset I feel when I do not readily submit compared to the peace I feel when I do.  After reading some of the comments I actually thought it would be best to walk away from blogging for a bit because if I could not share my trials in submission here (where I have been assured I am safe and welcomed) then well, I’ve found myself in the wrong place to share such personal experiences.  I will be honest here.  I was very hurt. It took a few kind people to write comments that understood what I was trying to say to help me move past where I was at.  I also wrote to one sweet blogger friend who reminded me to “cut you all some slack” because we all make mistakes.  I really feel the need to publicly apologize to my sweet man for painting him in a way that had many questioned how he treated me.  I can assure you that I am very much treated like the spoiled princess that I am and would not trade my sweet Hoss for anyone else in the world.  I will plan on being much more careful how I blog in the future, but I also ask that you all adhere to something as well.

One of the mottos my husband and I strive for is to always praise in public and criticize in private. We hold this not only in how we deal with our children, but also one another.  I found several of the comments from my post on Monday did not follow this rule very well.  I do believe each of you had our best interest at heart, but I need to ask in the future that if you are concerned at any level at what I have posted that you would drop me an email.  My sweet man and I are both perfectly happy with where we are right now and I do not expect everyone to understand or agree with everything we do. That being said, I am very much of the belief that everyone has the right to an opinion.  I will not stifle your right to speak your mind and welcome you to just let me know how you are feeling in a private email.  I’ve always been the shy type and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.  If I am feeling upbeat, you can usually tell and if I am not that will probably come across loud and clear as well. That’s just who I am. I am honest and did not want to hide how I felt from anyone, and just ask that everyone please just be a little more careful in the future. Thank you in advance for respecting my wishes, please.

Now, onto my little story.  The other morning was the first non rushed morning we’d had since we returned from our romantic weekend away.  Typically, if time permits we spend the early morning time before our day begins with some talking, sweet loving and some spanking.  Now, I’m in trouble quite often for being sassy as I tend to push things a bit too far and well, bossiness is next in line or talking over him, so well, we regularly indulge in maintenance to help keep those little pesky habits at bay. But not this particular morning.  No, this particular morning my sweet man surprised me.  He asked me to retrieve our newest spanking implement.  A long black leather paddle that we had not experimented with yet, as it looks to be quite loud.

I retrieved this new prize wondering if I was in trouble and what that may mean for my tush.  I’m quite the sweetie when I want to be and really could not think of anything that had landed me in trouble, but well, I claim that quite often and it is rarely true according to my man.  Sassy or Snarky are more likely to be my morning names, not Sweetness.   I was a bit worried as I did not know how leather would really feel.  Would it live up to the hype of being sensual or would it be my newest enemy?   I climbed onto our bed, already bared from the waist down and laid over his lap on a pillow. He began.  Oh, the spanks were soft and I asked him what this spanking was for and if I was in trouble.   I practically squirmed with glee when he said it was because I had been so good that a good girl spanking was overdue.  I felt the spanks fall and relished in how relaxing and pleasurable he was making me feel. Nothing he’s used before has made me turn into jello so quickly.  My reminiscing stops here, but let’s just say that lovely leather paddle and I are currently on very good terms and the sweet loving that followed was quite divine indeed.  I truly was in what I like to think of as spank heavens sort of mood! Similar to the southern version of, "thank heavens!" Notice this is plural because it can be used quite nicely when expressing oneself!  These are some a few examples!

“Spank heavens, for leather!”

”Spank heavens, that was felt awesome!”

“Spank heavens, you’re my man!”

I could go on, but I will not as I am certain you have the idea by now what I am talking about.

By the way, I had heard stories about leather being better and well, the lovely little good girl spanking was all that it was “cracked” up to be.  I am wishing you all are having a spank heavens of a day!

--Baker

If you would like to email me. please do so at bakercarlisle1cor13@gmail.com.

My Christmas List

All is merry and bright around here.  Christmas shopping usually goes up to the last minute.  I always seem to forget stocking stuffers or to buy a gift for someone special.  Today I already know I will be running to get yet another sweet teacher a gift as well as trying to figure out something spectacular trinket to give to our youngest's classmates for their party tomorrow.  There will be much baking this weekend and hopefully wrapping of gifts.  So everything is in full swing as it should be and I finally wrote out my Christmas list for the hubby.  So I'm certain he will be happy.  I am very spoiled as usually whatever is on the list is purchased for me.  I always feel so guilty at Christmas writing out things that I would like to have as I already have more things then I need or want.  

I am so well loved that hubby and our children all tend to present me with an exorbitant amount of gifts and I am always the last to finish unwrapping things on Christmas morning.  It takes awhile to ooh and ahh over each child's gift to me as well as the sweet things my man will find for little old me.  Especially those homemade ones that a sweet child has labored a long time over to make just right for me.  I'm very blessed and thankful at this time of year.  I hope you too are finding joy this Christmas season. 

Hopefully there will be snow soon and more hot chocolate with plenty of marshmallows and homemade fudge and cookies to share by the fire.  I pray each of you is having a blessed Christmas season.

--Baker

Control

I have had a lovely week away from blogland and have done a great amount of self reflection. I left you all last week with the concept of a list and schedule for me to work diligently on.  I had a terrible time following the new schedule because of one little word.  Control. 

I do not like to feel controlled or be controlled. I enjoy being in control.  That does not play out well since we began DD/TTWD last spring. It did not play out well last week at all.  What I did end up doing was taking a the time off from the computer to do a great deal of thinking. My man and I also had a weekend away without children, so more discussion was done regarding the list and schedules and desires for our family in general.  My husband also took this opportunity to introduce my bottom to a quiet implement that literally had me doing a dance that I do not care to repeat.  I also found out a little bit more about control in the Carlisle household.  Let’s lay out the situation.

Yours truly can be very submissive or very controlling.  I chose the trip back to our place of lodging to be very controlling over something very ridiculous--traffic.  Three lanes were merging into one and there were people who were not waiting their turn and trying to speed up and cut in.  I was trying to explain that I used situations like this to explain to our children how it makes others feel when you cut in line or do not wait your turn.  My hubby had a different point entirely.  He felt it was a good time to teach our children to be patient with others who want their own way.  An opportunity to show kindness when kindness is not shown to you.  Both points were equally valuable, but it was at this time that I was clearing speaking over him and refusing to listen to drop the subject so he could just focus on the traffic jam.  I finally conceded, but the foundation had been laid to try out that new implement.  

(Unfortunately this is what gets me in trouble far too often!)

When we returned to our room I used many excuses on why he could not spank me here.  It would be too loud.  No, he said, it would not, the implement was quiet, it was me who could choose or not choose to be loud.  Someone might hear anyway I said.  He told me to hush and bend over. The tv was on and our room did not have anyone on either side of us.  I did, but with the first swat I was up and moving and having none of that stingy thing.  Again.  I was trying desperately to control a situation that I had no control over whatsoever.  Finally, after many more swats and me jumping around trying to avoid every single one he put the wicked loopy implement down and walked away.  I thought he was just finished, but in all reality he was trying to calm down.

A good bit later after we both had just sat and watched tv and ignored one another I asked him if he wanted to play cards.  He frowned.  I asked what the matter was with him.  I was told I had not submitted to his discipline and that did not sit well with him.  

I sighed.  I knew I had not.  A few more minutes passed and I took a deep breath, got off the bed and pulled my pants off and leaned over the bed.  He asked what I was doing.  I said submitting as best as I could.  He nodded and came over to me, grabbing that wicked “quiet” implement, and started in before I changed my mind.  I actually managed to submit to the whole spanking keeping quiet or practically gnawing a corner of my pillow off as I bit into it to keep quiet. When it was over and he rubbed my back and bottom he told me he was so proud of me for submitting to him.  Folks, I may have been sore, but I felt like I was on the top of the world with that little comment.  The rest of the evening followed with other things that were enjoyed as well.

So, I found that relinquishing control is hard to do.  Submitting in obedience is hard to do, but we were both so much better for it when we know our roles.  I learned how easy it was to disappoint him when I did not follow him or “lean in” as Meredith has so beautifully said before.  That it feels good and makes him proud of me when I willingly submit to his authority rather than fight him tooth and nail for control.  It is at the very heart of ttwd/dd to submit and relinquish control and allow your man to be the head of the household in more than title only.  We were also able to work towards a list and schedule that should help all of us maintain and reach goals that we have set for ourselves and our family.

Hope everyone is doing well and has an awesome week!  That you have your Christmas shopping complete or if you are celebrating another holiday that you are relaxing and enjoying it was well.  God bless!
--Baker

The List

The following post needs a bit of perlude in order for you to understand where I am coming from.  In the last few weeks and months (even prior to blogging) I have found myself spending an enormous amount of my time (not necessarily spare time) reading blogs and books.  Once I began to blog that time has increased more than my man likes and so lays the foundation for this post.  I hope some of you can relate and provide me with some of your own thoughts and feedback on how to manage the situation I have currently found myself in.  

I have read about many of your husbands having a list or a scorecard or slate.  That is not the kind of list my husband keeps.  Actually, I’m not sure if he keeps a mental list of my transgressions or not as he refers to it as tally marks, but I have yet to figure out how he computes or figures those out.  It’s basically a mystery to me.  

Anyway, wow, I’m already off topic here.  The whole point of this post is not his list, but mine.  He wants me to write one.  Like daily.  To keep me focused.  

I have a list.  It’s in my head, but herein lies the problem.  The problem is called rabbit trails. Rabbit trails are my friend.  I like them.  I enjoy following after them.  

They are more fun than a list of to dos.  A list, requires me to look at it and get things done.  I do not like lists. They are….confining.  I do not like to look at a long list and figure out what should come first.  It discourages me.  A nap sounds excellent.  If it was on the list it would not happen.   No, I’m not lazy. Just easily distracted. i.e. the very reason for the list.  I could sit here all day reading. Reading blogs, reading short stories, reading books.  (By the way, I just spent several weeks reading PK Corey's Cassie series, AWESOME!  Put it on your reading list if you have not already read them).  I could read my life away and forget to eat or aimlessly munch on things I should not eat.  I can fall asleep reading, just to wake up and read some more.  

So, herein, the list.  He wants me, to write one, daily.  I have been asked, nicely, to write the list.  I have been requested, sternly, to write the list.  I have written a few posts now, tons of stories and journals in my lifetime, and yes, heaps of lists--when I worked outside our home I was the list queen. Not so much now.  I have spent the last 14 years avoiding writing them like the plague.  It was no problem when the kids were younger and I had less of them.  I could keep track and my sweet mom came several days a week to help me keep up.  Maybe she was the one making the list.  Who knows?

Well, now it’s up to me to make the list.  I do not need to be told the benefit of the list.  I just do not like it staring at me throughout the day as I while away my day doing other things. Things from the list may get done, but it is not efficient to write a list and walk away never to look at it again.   So, I not only need to write said list, but actually attempt to complete everything on it. 

Bored, yet?

(Okay, I will)

Okay, folks, the bare bones issue here is control.  I want to control my day without following a schedule or a list.  To do things on a whim, if I so desire.  That does not work here anymore.  I have too many day to day tasks that must get done.  For a bit now I’ve struggled with getting everything accomplished or done on a regular basis to my man’s satisfaction. So, now we are getting to the point that he is requiring changes.  That he is asserting his HOH dominance.  The other day, I was spanked prior to being asked for the list to be written and done.  Why, because he knew he had my full attention, over his lap.  The follow through is very important here.  This is new territory for us.  I believe he is leaning towards the list as a spankable offense.  Okay, I know for a fact he is most definitely looking at that possibility.  I think that’s a bit hasty on his part, but as he is finding, I respond well to a spanking to reinforce his desires for our family.  

So, I have consented to this and we have agreed on times I’m allowed on the computer as he feels and I agree it is my largest source of distraction right now.  Nope, I'm not blaming any of you for this, just realizing it's eating away at my time.  He is expecting accountability and submission in this area.  I am to write that list and keep it handy.  I am to do my best to stay on track.  If I get things done I can have plenty of time on the computer, but my times will be limited.  

He is not doing this out of spite or anger, folks.  He is simply asserting his right to a happy, peaceful home, where things are accomplished in a timely manner and he can trust that all is well.  It will be helpful to note here that I’m in full agreement, there’s only a little bit of stubbornness and hesitation left.  I have a feeling he will take care of that if I do not let it go soon.

I

(This is advice I needed to hear!)

So, how do you treat your time reading or writing blogs?  How do you keep yourself from losing your whole day to reading or another activity that you enjoy that really should be just for entertainment or a hobby, but you choose to let it rule over your time?  I know this problem is not just limited to us stay at home, busy with kids wives out there.  All of us have things that invade our time in negative ways if they are not kept in their proper place.

Just so everyone is clear here.  I’m happy my man has decided to help me with this issue.  I know it will benefit our family tremendously.  He is giving me a very concrete opportunity to show him submission.  It will not be the easiest thing I have ever done, but it is an area that I need to improve in. So, what's on your list?

--Baker

By the way, we have come up with a schedule of sorts on how to better use my time to blog and that will be the first step in order to ensure the list is done!

Wow, What A Day!

Angry words.  Blame cast.
Silence.  Hours passed.
Sleeping opposite sides.
More angry words.
More silence.
Tired.  Sad.
Hurting.
Ready for peace.

Calm words.
Gentle apologies.
Hard spanking.
Struggle to accept.
Sweet submission.
Cuddling.
Forgiveness.
Peace.


So, that’s my past few days in a nutshell.

I would love to say I could settle with being that short winded version of a post, but I would rather have answers to my questions and I’m hoping all of you wise folks will step up and help.   Here’s what happened.

Tuesday night my man came home from a long day at work.  We were suppose to decorate the tree, but I had forgotten about getting it up and in the stand, so the limbs could rest and fall naturally. Well, we were in the process when my man arrived home from work.  We were using the wrong kind of saw to trim the lower limbs and trunk.  Now, I knew this, but in my impatience to get the tree up I let the older boys use the wrong kind of saw.   He was not happy to learn we were using the wrong saw and working far too hard when we had the right tools to do the job correctly, but could not find them. A problem that happens a lot when kids do not put things away properly.  Lecture ensued for the boys about putting tools back and using the proper tool for the job.  I could tell my man was upset with me for allowing this to happen at all.  I choose to ignore him.  That was probably mistake #1.

Half an hour or so later I go downstairs to our room and he is sitting in bed on his phone.  I make a comment or two about letting it go about the tools and an attempt at an apology.  That was not the right thing to say.

Can I just interrupt this post and say that whoever thought up cherry cordial hershey kisses was a genius???  It’s helping me write this post and I just could not help, but share my thoughts on how yummy they are….................

So, back to the discussion in the bedroom.  I try to make small talk, does not work.  I decide to go about my business of getting laundry done and such.  I come back, hoping he is calmer.  He is, a bit.  I sit down to snuggle and hang out and not five minutes later our youngest waltzes in wanting me to read a book.  We had just begun to talk, not the best time to interrupt.  My hubby says, “not right now.”  Um, mistake #2 is coming,  I said, “yes, of course I will read to you."  So, the little guy snuggles onto my lap and I read, “If You Take A Mouse to the Movies,” with him.  (Can I just say it is completely possible to feel the heat radiate off a person when he is really angry?) The little guy was asking questions (wonder who he gets that from) and I answered the endless line of questioning and then tried to shoo him on his way.

(By the way, I love this little book!)

Little guy went off to play and I turned to my man.  The discussion became heated very quickly.  Not going into too much detail, but the conclusion is that I became very disrespectful and well, downright rude. Wow, that was very painful to admit on paper.  Let’s just say that would have been mistake #3.  Mistake #4 quickly followed by leaving the room under the pretense of sending kids to bed.  Well, I just did not come to bed, for hours.  I was angry and hurt and well, genuinely frustrated.  I knew I was in trouble the longer I thought about it, but well, it did little to quell my anger or diminish my feelings that I was right.

So Wednesday morning rolled around and the argument continued.  Not good.  Not good at all.  I tried to explain myself and put my foot in my mouth and chewed vigorously.  Yes, more hurtful words passed between us and he left for work.  I was devastated.  Just an input here that my man does not like to spank in anger, and he was plenty angry, so no spanking happened.  It was one of those arguments that would have last for several days before ttwd.

Well, that was not the only source of my sorrow, so I then proceeded to throw myself a bit of a pity party.  Some of it was justified, it was a death anniversary of a precious loved one and even though she has been gone for years, it hit really hard this time.  I’d also had a misunderstanding of sorts with a friend.  I was also dealing with a SIL that has caused me problems in the recent past, but we had resolved the issue, but I then felt the need to feel guilty about it all.  Let’s just say there was a lot of guilt going around and I was the one carrying it.

Interrupting again here to say that someone really needs to go to the store and purchase a large container of strawberry cheesecake ice cream.  This post is taking forever to write and the cherry cordials are not cutting this little pouring out of the soul post…………….now, on with the post.....

So, all in all there was a ton of hard stuff going on in my heart and my disagreement with my man was upsetting me to the point that I was not eating and just wanting to curl up and cry.  The man and I had an appointment at lunchtime at the bank, so I picked him up from work.  We finally began to talk, gently.  After the meeting, we had lunch and talked some more.   He held my hand on the way to the car.  By the time I was taking him back to work I was apologizing for my actions.  He too apologized for his part.  I did not need to ask what would happen later.  That was a given.

Last night, after I took the kids to church for Wednesday groups, I went home to my man.  He was waiting in bed.  I crawled up next to him.  He held me for a minute and said, “We need to take care of things before anything else can happen.  Go get, Bertha.”  I nodded and went to retrieve that blasted bath brush.   As I started to get onto the bed he told me to drop my jeans.  I asked about keeping my panties on.  Nope, everything off.  I complied.  No arguing.  I grabbed my big pillow and laid over his lap.  Wrapping my arms around that huge pillow and tried to breath.  He said, “thank goodness the kids are gone because I can be as loud as I want and so can you!”  He started in spanking hard with no warm up whatsoever.  Between the lecture and the spanks from him and me squirming and asking for him to let me up in addition to my ouching and pleas to stop it did get quite loud indeed.

Then about halfway through I squirmed away onto my side.  Yes, big mistake, I know.  I have no idea why I do that.  Wait, yes, I do.  My bum was on fire and I wanted that spanking to stop, gosh darn it!  It did not!

With the admonishment to me that he alone gets to decide when the spanking stops I was ordered back over for some more.  It felt like forever before he started to rub and talk, talk and rub.  There were a few more swats as I was not quick enough in my answers, but for the most part those were with his hand.  No tears on my part, which I had desperately hoped would happen.  I wanted to cry so badly all day, but just could not.

Interrupting again, but for the last time.  Wow, this is a long post.  I need some hot chocolate.  Wait, no I take that back.  Too late for any more caffeine. Oh, wait, I just had a ton of chocolate. I guess it’s too late to worry about my caffeine intake, hot chocolate it is…………………..

I’m almost done here.  So, after a good while of cuddling I was told to go and get the kids from church.  I did not want to get in the van. I did not want to sit.  Guess who went to get the kids? Yup, me.  The Big Grinch.  No early Christmas present for me.

The slate was clean, the air was clear, peace was ours, but this morning we did maintenance anyway.  I just felt that I needed it.  I knew things were on the up and up, but I just needed the reassurance that all was good.  It hurt, but was not horrible.  We are all good again.  The pity party is over, so what’s the question?  Well, I have several.  Feel free to address all of them or just one or two.

What do you do when you know you deserve a spanking or have earned one, but he is too angry to handle it?  Does your man spank in controlled anger?  Is that easier to deal with than having to wait it out?  Has things ever spiraled out of control for you to the point that you wondered where ttwd/dd had gone?  Have you been left to stew on the issues and things have festered instead of being resolved?  Examples are helpful for me.  I’m trying very hard to figure out at what point I should have stepped back (I’m sure there are several) that could have fixed the problem before things snowballed.

(Love Calvin and Hobbes)

--Baker

Are You Like Me?

So, I’ve been pondering a thought on how to entice the younger readers out of their shells a bit.  The ones in the same boat that I’m in.  You know who you are.  The wives and mommies who are trying to figure out how to enhance their marriage with ttwd/dd while trying to juggle tons of other demands on their lives.

(Yup, that's me, most days.)

Maybe you are just into this for play or maybe just discipline or role affirmation or a smattering of everything that ttwd can encompass.  Maybe you are seeking to find someone to understand and be a listening ear that can empathize with what you are going through.  Yes, there are so many wonderful bloggers out there.  I value them like no other.   They have helped me come so far in such a little time by answering my questions and listening to my thoughts.

(Just kidding, no other bloggers have been harmed in the making of this post!)

But as many point out they are empty nesters, retired or close to that point. That is a different season of life.  One I will not see for many more years to come.

(Yeah, that's me when the man takes all the kids to a double feature for the afternoon!)

I’m in the throes of just trying to manage the house, kids, and have enough time to give my man more than a kiss on his way out the door for work most days.

(This gives me the giggles!)

I have no idea what we are doing most of the time.  I still have tons of questions and doubts.  We are in the learning stage.  Knowing me and the way I view things we will never get out of this stage.

(Every day I learn something new!)

I would like to hear from some of my readers who are out there in this stage of life.  The ones who may feel as lonely as I do in the middle of this, when you cannot turn your mother or sister or best friend for advice or a listening ear.  You can email me.  I do not bite.  I’m just trying to glean how others get through this and find balance, same as you.

(Yes, unfortunately, I feel like I'm constantly making mistakes and learning from them.)

Yes, we are making progress, and learning, but it just seems like I’m one of the few out there, in this stage of life, trying to make this work.  So, feel free to send me an email. Maybe, you and I, can lift one another up and learn from one another.  Also, last thought I'd like to share, because as I have written this a few of my children have walked by and wanted to know what I was doing and why I was smiling at no one.  I said I was just having a conversation with myself.  I was... sort of....out loud.... on paper..... with each of you.

 (Yeah, unfortunately, that would be me!)

--Baker

By the way, this is my 13th post, a true baker's dozen for my first month of blogging, not bad, huh?


Email me at bakercarlisle1cor13@gmail.com

Seriously, What's Going On Here?

Hey, everyone!  I have a bit of a conundrum here.  This is our very first year doing ttwd/dd and really our first big holiday that we have been at the level that we have done stress relief prior to any big event.  It is also one of the first holidays we have conducted at our home that went off with a stress free wife and mommy.  Let me give you the setup and maybe by the end you can help me figure this out a bit.

Thanksgiving morning, early, my man and I were snuggling in bed.  We’d had some lovely “quality time” doing some “extracurriculars” that do not need mentioning when he announced that it was time to get out the bath brush.   Went from this:

to this:

My arch-enemy!

Now, realize, everyone else is blissfully asleep upstairs, thank the Lord our children are heavy sleepers, because it was about to get a tad bit loud.  He laid out a nice firm pillow across his lap and had me take off my pajama bottoms.  He started out gently, but within seconds I was ouching and squirming trying to get off his lap.  I’m never sure why I hold onto that pillow, it never helps to comfort me, so much as it’s something I hold onto for dear life.  So, he’s reminding me to be calm and nice today.  Family is coming over and though I hardly have any conflict with them, I have had conflict with my SIL (his sister) the past weekend, in regards to another SIL causing us both issues.  He does not want conflict or stress.  He wanted a relaxed wife.   He would spank until he got what he wanted.  Stress relief is new.  We’ve done maintenance, discipline and good girls, but not really anything just to reset my stress level.  So far, at least in my opinion, it helps tremendously and I seem to be in a bit less trouble as my sass is less and my submission better.  It took a bit, but the stress level went down and cuddling commenced.  Then I had to get busy with the baking and well, the man, my sweet man went back to sleep.  (He'd worked until past midnight and was awake early, so we could have some time before the rush of the day set in.)

I got busy with the cooking and baking, while everyone else slept.  Read a few blogs and answered well wishes for a happy turkey day.  Sent out texts to my friends wishing them well this holiday season.  I got a bit behind, but no real worries.  Children began to get up and I sent them off to do the cleaning and take showers.  Company began to arrive and pitch in with the cooking or cleaning up the dishes or whatever needed to be done.  It was filled with laughter and talking.  The TV was on with the parade and then football games.  I do not handle the crowding in the kitchen, but I was calm. Dinner was late as one part of the family from a good distance arrived late, but they pitched right in as well.  It was just a nice relaxing day, with little to no stress.  Unheard of here on a normal day, let alone a holiday with us hosting close to 15 additional people.

Well, folks, he got what he wanted.  A relaxed wife.  It was one of the best Thanksgiving we have had in awhile.  There was no fussing from this wife.  I only had one minor slip up with oldest son and daughter not doing their chores quickly enough, but my man stepped in and all was good.  Dinner was not done on time, but no problem.  Plenty of helpers in the kitchen and I did not get upset either. I usually get frustrated when too many people are in my kitchen in the way.  Not this year.  We handled things as a team and both were in tune with one another.

So, dear readers, the question is, but why?  Why does a stress relief spanking reset me to the point I am not letting my ugly side rear it’s head, like at all?  I understand the sexy ones.  They are lovely and well, improve the sex life.  I get discipline, it rids me of the guilt and disappointment, clears the air, so to speak.  Rights wrongs between us.  Maintenance helps me to listen better to him.  It’s more of a way to just reaffirm things.  Helps remind me that I have given my submission to him.  This stress relief though, it seems almost just for me.  Just to reset my whole being into a submissive wife, gentle mommy, and keeps us working together as a team.  The after the spanking almost feels like I’m floating, but yet I’m here, actively involved, enjoying life and things from a different perspective. The different perspective of a dd/ttwd wife.  Anyone, understand what I’m even saying here?  I’m not sure if anyone can explain it, but I’d love to hear your opinions on all of this.

--Baker