Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Spankos Unite!

I am in a bit of a reflective mood today.  I have been since the new year began.  I meant to write my thoughts down Saturday, but the stomach flu hit our house big time and has continued to plague us for the last five days.  I am one tired Momma right now, but as I cannot sleep I thought I'd try to get somewhat of a post down for you all to ponder. 
(Yup, our diet right now--preferred this pic to a more graphic one!)

I have been throwing around post ideas and keep coming back to the same thing.   How else are we similar aside from our love of spanking?  I mean seriously, there have to be some sort of other similarities that bring us all to openly discuss this most private part of our lives (in which many of our families and friends have no idea about) in such a public place.  I'm just deeply curious about the traits and tendencies that may "make a spanko" (even though I am not a fan of that word).

So I just want to randomly throw out some ideas and I would like to have you either answer these in your own posts (like a meme) or just answer which ones you want in the comments below.  Or for those of you who do not blog, but would be kind enough to share and feel free to answer the questions in the comment section at the end.  Some of these questions may just seem random, but my point is to see how closely we are alike in other ways than just the DD or TTWD lifestyle.  I'm going to answer these questions as I go along, so you get an idea along what lines I am thinking....
(I like how this breaks the difference down.)

1.  Are you an introvert or extrovert or somewhere in between?  What about your HOH? 

I am most definitely an introvert, though I have extrovert tendencies in certain situations.  If I am out with a group of people, and I am not in charge of the group, than I am the quiet girl in the corner talking to one or two friends or simply listening to the conversations going on around me.  If I am in charge then, yes, I can rise to the occasion. 

Hoss, as my HOH, is an extrovert.  He loves to visit with people and seems to know everyone.  I love this about him and it makes me wonder how many other HOH's out there are more of an extrovert.  
(I think Hoss would approve of this pic!)

2.  At what age did you realize that spanking was something you were into and at what length did you go to hide it?  Did your HOH know?  For those of you who began your marriage with spanking do you think anything from your childhood helped you to be more accepting of the spanking lifestyle.

I am not exactly sure how old I was when I realized that spanking was something that fascinated me.  Maybe as young as 9 or 10 when I would read children's stories and specifically read and reread the sections on spankings.  Did I ever share this?  No.  I thought I was an odd duck and being on the very shy side I really kept private thoughts, such as this, private.  I think Hoss is accepting of this lifestyle simply because he sees it works.  The results are mostly positive.
(Does the apple fall far from the tree)

3.  Do you know of anyone else in your family who practices DD, TTWD, etc.?  And how did you come to learn that they did?

I can quickly answer no one on my side, though Hoss and I wonder about one of his brothers and his wife.  They would be described more of a traditional marriage situation if they are, but again not a 100 percent sure on this one.  Hoss has simply witnessed a few exchanges between this couple that lead him to believe that obeying is something his brother expects from his wife.  

Part of the reason I ask this question is because I'm curious of the hereditary nature of spanking.  If we have the potential to pass this down to our own children some day.  (And not by example, but just their natural tendencies towards this as they grow.)
(Not true, but often we'd go out and then sit on the couch to visit)

4.  Are you a homebody or outgoing?  To me this is different than being an introvert or extrovert.  You can be an introvert and still love to go to museums or a ball game.  You can also be an extrovert and love to just have people over and entertain in your home rather than going elsewhere.

I am a homebody.  I do enjoy getting out and seeing people one on one, but if I have the choice I'm home.  Hoss is more adventurous than I am, I think.  
5.  How do you view blogging?  Is it an outlet?  A way you process?

I'm an introvert, so I know I would not share this easily in person, but blogging.  Blogging helps me express myself.  It helps me put to words what is filling up my head.  I can write out loud on paper and get feedback, but it's not face to face.  The embarrassment factor for me is reduced dramatically.  If I am writing something in an email or text if I am blushing over what I am saying because alot of times what I read or am talking about to someone in the dd world makes me blush.  That's just how I am.

6.  What tendencies do you see in your DD or TTWD friends and bloggers?  Warning this one may be sensitive to answer.  I am in no way trying to criticize these are simply observations or things that may be similarities between us.

I find a great majority of bloggers to be very (and I mean very) private people.  They may share intimate things on their blogs, but are less likely to share about their extended children, family, locations, etc.  I understand this so much better now that I blog than I ever could before blogging.  They very much limit what the outside world sees of them, but they do get great satisfaction in helping others learn the lifestyle.  They want others to understand and tend to be very kind and considerate people.  I think the world would make our lifestyles out to be perverted or old fashioned, and yet we tend to be some of the happiest and open people around.   We just choose to keep those we love under lock and key to a degree and that is probably the safest route to take.

I also see several of us as worriers and some of us have discussed histories that include depression.  Take that one for what you will, but many have commented here and there of having tendencies towards depression and using ttwd/dd as a way to help them out of their depressive states.  Additionally, many comment how this lifestyle has saved or improved their marriages.   This is one I'm still mulling around a bit, so please take no offense.  I am one of those who tends towards depression and also feel dd greatly improved our marriage.
(Books can be one of my favorite companions)

7.  Are you a lover of the printed word?

Seriously, this is where my introverted side is most fulfilled.  I can fall in love with a series and become so taken with the characters that they become my friends.  I love books and reading and have sense I was little.  I could pick up a book and become lost in a novel.  This love has continued and I have heard from many other bloggers that they are just as avid fans of books as I am.
(Good question)

8.  Do you view yourself as a submissive?

I struggle with this one.  I am a people pleaser, yes.  Am I submissive, not quite.  I try, Lord knows I try, but I am not a "yes, sir" type of girl.  I want to be, but I'm independent.  I want to do better (and I am better than when we first started), but Hoss can attest that I do not quite fit the submissive role.

9.  Last question.  What traits do you see in your HOH that help you follow his lead?

His voice.  That may sound overly simplified, but when Hoss uses a certain tone it make me all quivery and I know to listen up.  Or it could be just the gentleness that stops me in my track as he tells me how special I am to him.  His words can get my attention.

His look.  We all say they have a look, but what is it?  For Hoss his eyes will narrow and lose their sparkle.  He's a guy that smiles easily, so when that smile is gone and his face stiffens up, I know I'm (for lack of a better word) screwed.  Or it may be that ornery grin he gets right before things turn to the fun side.  I eat that one up.  

Lastly, his stance.  He stands taller, his shoulders seem broader and his confidence seems magnified.  He seems invincible, someone you would not want to mess with for any reason.  That stance is one that makes me feel protected, loved and secure.  

Well, folks, not my normal zany post, but I hope you'll play along.  I know we are all vastly different, but I'm wondering if some of our similarities are what bring TTWD/DD to be more a prominent option for us.  Also, maybe you have other questions you'd like to ask or share.  Jump in.  I'd just like to create some dialogue and explore the traits we may have that lead us towards this lifestyle.