Thursday, September 27, 2018

Empty

I need a fill up!   I’m running on empty a lot of days.  My tank cannot seem to keep up with the demand most days as I run from here to there trying to keep up with it all.  Stopping to fill up can be so inconvenient with a houseful of kids and groceries and errands and...and...and...the list goes on and on.  I’m a mom by day and a Uber service by night pretty much day in and day out.
Now, you may be wondering how many ways I can say this without being any more cliche.  You may be curious why I am so worried about my tank being filled.  Well, things work and perform better when they are on full. Optimal performance, I believe it’s called.
Hoss is doing his level best to keep the tank full, but with everything going on these days some fill ups only seem to last a few days at best when they used to last a good week.

The stakes can be so high when the tank is empty in the middle of rush hour traffic!  I become the not so nice Baker and rather a cranky lunatic yelling at everything that moves in my direction.  Trying to push the vehicle to the gas station is not the easiest thing to do either.  Especially, when you’re almost to the point of swearing because you’re stalled out in the turn lane.

So what’s the solution to this craziness???
Do less?  Nope...not going to happen anytime soon.  Too many responsibilities that will not automatically disappear.

Be more planful, so the tank does not get empty to begin with?  That is helpful in its own right, but things still happen.  Not every day, but often enough.

What about trying to combine those errands so I’m running less?  Maybe...but often times that is just not possible.
More spanking so you don’t run out of gas the next time?  Well, that would fill the spank tank, now would it not?  Yup!  I'm all for that!

What...you did not really think I was talking about gas, did you?

--Baker
Thanks, Fondles, for reminding me of the idea for this post!  Thanks also to Lindy, Amy and EsMay for gently encouraging me to write here again.  You, ladies, are the best!

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Alexa, Stay Out Of THIS!

I recently purchased Hoss a fun new gift.  I was promised by two friends that he would love it!  I am not a techie, gadgety sort of girl at all, so I just took a leap of faith here, people, that my man would love it.  Hoss did love the gift of an amazon echo by the lovely little name of Alexa.
....wait...what...some of you do not know what an Alexa is?  Well, let me inform you.  Alexa is a little computer doohickey that is determined to prove she knows everything!  Weather?  she's got you covered.  News?  she knows exactly what is going on where and even knows my husband's preferences on where he hears his news.  Sports?  she knows exactly who beat who in the preseason as well as who's up for draft, who's been injured, etc.  you name it, she knows it.  In other words she's a busy-body-know-it-all who likes to meddle in things.

Which leads me to my post.  She knows songs.  Did you know Alexa will sing to you or play you her favorite songs?  Do you know that the day Aretha Franklin passed away that Alexa's favorite song that day was RESPECT.  Yeah, she also knows how to play 80s music like nobody's business.
Need a little early morning spanking music...she's got you covered...well, in this case Hoss covered.  It's just her choice of music that has me wondering if she's got some sort of Supergirl perception on what Hoss needs and when.
Now, now, now, you all think Baker is overreacting, don't you?  Well, for once you, folks, are wrong.  DEAD WRONG!

I am not overreacting! Last week we were up early getting ready to have a little bit of spanking action.  I was in a teeny tiny bit of trouble (STOP LAUGHING!  teeny tiny bits of trouble do happen around here)....anyway...Hoss had me over the bed and as it was creeping close to the time a few kiddos may have been waking up he said, "Alexa, play 80s music."  Alexa pops on and starts playing this song.  It starts slow, but literally one of the first lines in the song was about hitting your mark.   Seriously, Alexa, the man has NO PROBLEM hitting his mark!  He's actually extremely good at it...regardless if I want him to be or not.  You'd think he'd occasionally miss and hit the bed once in a while, nope, not him.  UGH!
So we heard the hit the mark and both dissolved into giggles thinking Alexa had really picked a good one for that one.  Haha, Alexa!  right? Maybe....

The next day we are getting ready for a little reset type of spanking and well, Hoss repeats the phrase, "Alexa, play 80s music."  Well, you know what that She-Devil decides to play?

Nah, not going to tell you....too embarrassing....
Wait...I got distracted...that's what this post is about.

You really do want to hear what she did to me, don't you?

Geez, nosy bunch of people!

She decides to play Pat Benatar's, "Hit me with your best shot!"
Now, I"m sorry....that's just not funny.  I tell you she's got this thing about reading my man's mind!  Wait....maybe he's pre-programmed her to respond that way?  Wait?  Can he do that?  I have no idea...remember...I'm not tech savvy at all.  Can he do that?  I'll have to ask.

Because I'm almost certain after today's spanking Alexa either has it in for me or Hoss is being very clever!  Today Hoss says, "Alexa, play 80s music."  Things were moving along rather nicely.
That did not mean Alexa had to play Billy Joel's, "We Didn't Start the Fire."  No, thank you very much!  Hoss did a fine job without her input!

--Baker


Tuesday, July 17, 2018

While the Cat's Away...

So Hoss is away for a whole week.  Now for some of you out there in blogland that is not any amount of time to be away from your spouse, but here it is rare.  This summer he will be away a total of around three weeks when it is all said and done.  About five days for work and the rest with camps with our boys.  He has promised me he will also make a daddy/daughters camping weekend sometime this fall before the weather turns, but that has yet to be scheduled.  But that is not what this post is about.  
This post is about ME!  You know the one left behind.  The one left in charge.  Well...Baker does not always do IN CHARGE so well anymore.  She relies heavily on her man while he is here for the support she needs to make it through the day.  It helps her to cope well and to manage when she is being pulled in a million different directions.  Look at me going all third person on you guys.  What I am trying to say is that is how we like it.  It suits us well as a couple and as a family.

I see myself as the manager to Hoss's CEO.  He runs the ship and I'm second in command.  That sort of thing.
Well, this particular eight day stint, that he is on, has thrown the manager and second in command for a bit of a loop de loop.  Very much like the one above.  Now, many of you are saying it's only eight days.  That is doable.  It started out very doable.
Saturday went well.  I was incredibly busy between ubering kids between two soccer games and a gymnastics lesson and at the end a birthday party for a family friend.  Whoo!  I made it easily through that day as I had commitments.  We came home Saturday night exhausted and ready for bed.  Kids were taken care of and I decided to have an allergic reaction to something.  I think it may have been the friend's cats.  I'm not sure, but when I woke up to get us all ready for church on Sunday, my eyes were practically swollen shut!  Yippee!  That is exactly how I wished to begin my day...NOT!
The kids and I stayed home and things went down hill.  I'm still not at all sure what happened or why, but it did.

Like little old me resting the day away until I could see better and the allergy attack subsided.  I was feeling better by the evening.    I'm like I am so good!  NOT!  I was feeling defiant.  I needed boundaries.  My boundaries were no longer there and I was feeling oh, so in charge.  I was feeling rather rogue.
I felt like breaking into the toy chest and wreaking havoc.  Getting rid of what I do not like, you know, like wondering if there was a way to saw or break Bertha (the bath brush Hoss loves to use to roast me) in half.  You know, like crazy stuff.  Wondering if I could get that cap cream all the way out to the trash before some kid asked me what was that or what am I doing with that (kids their never ending questions?).  Summer cleaning of the toy chest perhaps?  Well, thank you to my two friends who kind of started talking crazy sense to me.  Like you know, consequences for your actions and just because the cat's away does not mean I can totally destroy everything because I'm in a "Mood!"  
So I calmed down and say, "Tomorrow, I've got tomorrow."  I'm so going to be on track TOMORROW.  Yeah, well I started singing the tomorrow song...
Anyone else hearing the song from Annie, "Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll love you tomorrow, it's only a day away!"  Ear worm.  There you go.  So helpful, now I have that song stuck in my own head.  Geez, Louise!  Thanks alot, Baker!

Anyway, I had it that tomorrow would be better.
Until I didn't.  I overslept as I could not get to sleep the night before.  (Anyone else have that where their spouse is gone and well, sleeping is not happening?) I chatted on the phone, did nothing, just basically did a me day.  
Now, I have a list a mile long of all the things I wanted to do before my sweet man and sons return home.  Laundry done, rooms cleaned, lists readied for school supplies and such.  I was going to update the calendar of the dates we know are upcoming for the fall.  Spend time with the kids at home.  Maybe go swimming a few times.  I even had hopes of mowing the lawn as that has become our boys' job the last few years, but something I previously enjoyed a great deal.  

Yeah, that did not work out so well, as I took this little ME day.  I finally decided I was either pouting or depressed and missing my man or something.  So again came texts to friends.  Then it dawned on me that I really just was missing Hoss and I so desperately needed to let him know kind of where I was at, not in detail mind you, but just you know a, "Hey, help your girl out, and give me some direction," kind of text.
You didn't really think I would tell him about my plot to do his beloved Bertha in, did you?

So back came the request to do a list.  Give him an idea what I hoped to accomplish.  His response was to do the first task on the list with the threat of cap cream if it was not accomplished within a certain time frame.

Remember I asked for help, right?  Well, that doesn't mean I truly wanted it.  I wanted to still do my own thing and for some reason this request made me more than determined to say, "Nope, I really do not want your help after all."  I did not say this....I just thought it mighty loud and kept doing a whole lot of nothing.  

Task was due at 6.  You know what?  5:30 I sent an email to Amy.  Something was said about me standing on the edge of a cliff, and needing some help before I jumped was said.  
Crickets.  Err!  

Then Lindy popped up on messenger asking if I was over yesterday and being, "A good girl!"  Now, the last thing I want to admit to Lindy is no I was not in a good place.   And I also really wanted to show some self preservation efforts, so I jumped up and got to work.  She also reminded me what Hoss expected me to do what I asked.  The task was not quite complete at five till six and I asked for an extension.  
Crickets.  AGAIN...really is my phone not working here!
I began to wonder if he even remembered assigning the task or had he become so busy....you know my mind started jumping to conclusions.

I worked on.  At 6:15 a text.  Send me a picture of where you are with the project.  In a flash of my phone I sent him the pic.  Self preservation kicked in overtime when I realized I still was not done.  The amazing thing is, his little command for that pic kind of melted my heart and my need to please him, to submit to him.  And when he said it was good, pride welled in me.  I know I smiled huge and completed the rest of the task without a second thought.

Now, this post is getting long.  Sorry, but there is still more to tell.
After that he was gone again for quite awhile as the group he was with tackled a project.  I decided to go all Thelma and Louise.  No, not literally.  I had never seen the movie before so I decided to watch it.  Well, I called Hoss to get the code (never use this one program we have, so he was the one with the code) and when he asked me what I was watching, well, he reminded me to truly not go all Thelma and Louise while he was away.  

Geez, am I that transparent or predictable?  Do you think he knows about my plot against Bertha?
Hoss wanted me to assure him that one of my friends was busy (my bestie).  He then said to make sure Amy knew we were not allowed to actual be Thelma and Louise and go on some wild trip while he was away.  Lol, I had to laugh, like Amy is really going to drive oodles of hours or more to get here, though the thought did occur to me that I could happily load the kids in the van and well.....he shot that idea down pretty quick.....pfft.  Did I say I was feeling rather rogue?

Anyway, a nice evening was had by all.  I had never seen the movie Thelma and Louise, but kind of knew the ends and outs of it, and was pretty hyped after watching it.  The road trip excited me, not the crime spree that they went on (just in case you were wondering.)

Hoss still felt I needed the cap cream.  I have no idea why he would be worried, do you?

I did obey and put on that cap cream before trying to turn into bed.  Why the cap cream you ask?  Because well, I'm sure he did not want be to go getting any hair brain idea to go wild (if he only knew how crazy I'd been acting the night before...)  Also the task he'd requested me to do was not quite finished.  Moving on....
What is it when he is gone?  The kids who have long since learned to sleep in their own beds came tumbling in one by one.  I lay there squished between our two youngest thinking, wow, the cap cream isn't even working.  Maybe I did it wrong.  Oh, well, apparently it doesn't work the same way unless Hoss is the one to put it on.  

I know, I know, I'm naive.  We all know capsicum cream is a type of evil that lies in wait for it's latest victim. 
Midnight rolled around and I finally was able to fall asleep.  Even with all these children's arms and legs wrapped around me or on top of me I was still unsettled and missing my man.  Am I the only one who struggles to rest when their spouse is away?  Surely, not...

So shortly thereafter the cap cream decided to work.  I woke up, laying on my back, and could not untangle the kids to get onto my side.  I was trapped!  I finally was able to gently push one child towards another and get to my left side and fall back asleep. Only to wake up fifteen minutes later on my back again!  So this process proceeded to repeat itself every 15-20 minutes or so in a maddening example of stupidity (seriously my sleeping self should have been smart enough to realize that sleeping on my back was causing my butt to burn), but well, obviously not.  I finally around 2 convinced myself to sleep just to be woken by one of said children trying to vomit on the bed.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! 
I shot out of bed like a rocket and directed said child to the restroom while untangling myself from another child and the blankets.  Puking child did not make it to the restroom.  Why can they not make it to the toilet when I am the only one here?  All I have to say is, "Yuck!".

I tripped my way trying to get to him and trying to avoid the mess!  That adventure over momentarily, I was soothing said child, got him settled back in my bed with the notorious bowl affectionately called, "the vomit bucket."  I called the mommy slumber party off and sent everyone to their respective beds.  I cleaned up the floor and washed my hands trying desperately to rid them of that vomit smell that somehow permeates the nostrils, before climbing back into bed with the sick one.  

After two hours of him sleeping, waking to throw up, and getting him back to bed, rinsing out the bowl, and using my time wide awake, while waiting for the next episode, to send emails to friends.  Sorry to anyone I may have sent an email to that did not make alot of sense.  Sleep deprivation really and truly makes me weirder than normal (I know, it is possible, you can stop laughing now).

I finally felt things were waning.  I climbed back into my side of the bed and closed my eyes to hear, "Mommy, my head hurts, my tummy doesn't feel so well.."  REALLY?  Another one?  (Of course, I know better, but I was already toast.)  My head was not feeling too great either at this point.  


Thankfully this child was not sick to her tummy and after an early morning snack I settled her at the foot of the bed with an ice pack for her head and promptly fell asleep.  Ugh!  How does Hoss do this????  He is the one who is almost exclusively does the middle of the night illnesses.  He is super man, you know?  He is such a good daddy.  So then I was missing him this morning and reminded that the best way to please him is to get busy on the list. 

So here I am, checking the first thing off the list.  Get a post up that hopefully everyone says, wow I am so blessed that's not me today!

Just so you know, kids are both feeling better at the moment and thoroughly enjoying  cartoons on mommy's bed within earshot of me.  Hopefully, no one else has problems tonight.  And my feelings of being in charge are now placed in their proper perspective.  Bertha remains unharmed, I promise!   Maybe next time when the cats away, Baker will know not to play (well not too much anyway!)

Have a great week!
--Baker

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Ketchup vs. Catch up


A bit of conversation last night as we sat next to one another in bed.

Hoss: We need to wake up early for some catch up.  (Makes a swatting motion with his hand in the air).

Baker: I didn't think you like ketchup.

Hoss (huge grin): This flavor I do.

That is all.

--Baker

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Dom or HOH?

When we first started DD over two years ago, we really had no understanding of truely all of the wordage that is out there in regards to TTWD.  I had no idea I was a TiH or Taken In Hand.  A submissive?  That definitely would not have described me, Biblically or otherwise.  I stumbled over the words until I came to ones I was comfortable with before even talking with Hoss about all of these ideas.  I’m not even sure now if I suggested I was a TiH he would know what that word means.
Now, around here Hoss is the Head of Household and, in private, will refer to himself as my HOH.  This I find interesting, but it is how he views himself in our relationship and to be honest I find it very hot.  Now, the other word out there we all hear a lot is the word Dom.  Now, I’m pretty sure that Hoss does not see himself as my Dom, but we do use that word here, but more in the verb form.

I will often ask him to “Dom” me when I am feeling out of control or feel a need to be close to him.  It may not be the right word choice for some, but it works here for us.  I know he is my leader or HOH, but when he doms me it feels different.  It’s almost a more intimate time for us.  I love to say he is dominating me, but in our day to day relationship that is not how it works.  Or at least that is not how I describe it.

Is anyone besides me completely confused here?  I am, well maybe.  I feel like doming me is more of a feeling I get when he is close and I desire him to tell me exactly what to do and how to do it.  When he is in leader mode it’s all household duties, kid related activities and more businesslike as we manage our household and raise our children.  So maybe I’m not so confused as much as unsure if we are using the correct words here.  Not that it matters, except it does in my own mind.  I’m pretty sure Hoss does not think it is important at all.  It’s just titles after all, in a way anyways.
So, I guess my question to each of you is (you know there was one in there somewheres), how do you describe your significant other, your life partner, your soul mate?  Is the person your HOH or your Dom?  Do you see a difference by your use of titles or not?

Anyway, just me, being curious.

--Baker

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Team I Vs. Team We

When Hoss and I were newly married I had a tendency to always say mine instead of ours.  Or I would refer to his side of the family instead of saying our family.  When we would argue I would have often say, “I can do this,” instead of, “we can do this.”  I know that it sounds like Baker is tripping over her words here, but let me see if I can explain better.

This is a typical discussion scenario we would have had pre-DD. 

Hoss: “We need to get the kids ready to go, we’re going to be late if we don’t get a move on.”

Baker: “Yeah, I’ll go get them ready.”

Hoss: “What can I do to help?”

Baker: “I don’t know.  I’ll do it.”

Hoss: “I can help.”

Baker: “Fine (said in a disgruntled voice)...I’ll send Kid X down with the clothes, you can get the little ones dressed.”

Fast forward half an hour and kids are dressed and we are ready to go. 

Hoss: “I’m going to go start the car.  Anything else we need to do before we leave?”

Baker: “No, I got it.”  

I, all by my little lonesome, would then spend the next ten minutes checking the diaper bag, shutting bedroom doors, turning off lights, fixing a snack to take, etc.  Note he only would say I when referring to a direct thing he alone could do.  Not so with me.  I was always the one always trying to be the martyr following on her sword to be the one to do EVERYTHING.

So I excluded him.  I treated him like he was incapable on many, many things.  I say this, even though it embarrasses me greatly to admit that I treated my sweet man so poorly.  I say this because it’s so much better now.  There is very little of this “I” team, it’s a whole lot more of Team We.

The reason I even bring this up is because I was away from my family for a conference for four days.  I had gone with my bestie and another friend we both know.  I did not know the other friend all that well, and she reminded me so much of my former self it was amazing.  She belittled her husband while on the phone while we were in the room, referred to him as another one of her kids, expressed many negative things about him.  Very rarely did we hear her say anything that positive about him. 
Folks, it made my heart hurt.  It reminded me of all of those years we wasted not being Team We.  I am keenly aware whenever I say “I” now.  I make sure I refer to either family as our family unless I need to specify as in Hoss’ mom instead of mine.  Also, we work as a team often making sure everyone is ready before walking out the door.  By doing this he is a stronger leader for our family.  He has always been the leader, but in title only.  Now, he truly is the HOH and we both prefer it that way.
I am still not the best at making sure I use the appropriate words, but I am much better.  DD has helped us considerably be more of Team We than Team I, and for that we are quite grateful.  Thank you, my sweet Hoss, for showing me the difference.

--Baker


Friday, June 15, 2018

The Lion Sleeps Tonight



A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle the quiet jungle
The lion sleeps tonight

This song is such an ear worm, but I kid you not it applies to my post.  Well, sort of!  

Have you ever sat and wondered about bloggers?  Like what kind of person they present themselves to be on their blog is only a portion of what they are in real life, but it is that mere glimpse into his or her life that typically intrigues us to keep reading.  Maybe that person is close to your age or seems to have likes that correlate with yours.  Or maybe their personality resonates with you.  Whatever the reason, I find that we can truly learn so much from what that person shares on his or her blog posts.
That being said, I also think it’s fun to imagine other bloggers in the realm of what kind of animal each one is….I know quirky, but such an interesting concept.  So in the spirit of fun, I ask you to guess what I’m going to call my spirit animal.  What do you think I am really like in real day to day life. Also, explain what characteristics of the chosen animal you think I share with them because 
that's just part of the fun.  If you are feeling so inclined, share what you to believe Hoss to be as well.
When I have heard from enough of my readers I will share what I believe my spirit animal to be with all of you.  Bloggers, anyone care to join me?  Put up your own post inviting your readers to guess your inner spirit animal.  Solet’s let out a roar or a mousey squeak and share what kind of animal do you think I am?  

So get to posting and have a great weekend everyone!

--Baker (and Hoss)