Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Second DD Anniversary

Hoss and I began DD around our real anniversary two years ago.  So I just thought I'd drop in and say we could not be happier with the results.  We have grown slowly over these past two years and there have been more benefits than we first imagined.  The best part is we have grown closer together and felt more in tune with one another.  I will say there are still rough days or difficult patches.  We are still dealing with lots of kiddos in our home.  Sometimes that makes things extremely difficult to always incorporate DD like we would really like, but the fact that we are still improving, still learning and moving forward is definitely wonderful.

So, to the love of my life, I thank you, Hoss, for being the man you are for me and the kiddos.  I love you more than words can ever express.


Truly bless and thankful!  Have a great rest of your week, everyone!

--Baker

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Dear Abby...Errr...Dear Amy?

Dear Abby was a post read for many years offering advice to others regarding etiquette, manners, etc.  Well, in blogland I inadvertently found my own Dear Abby in the form of Amy over at http://eric51amy49.blogspot.com.  She actually asked the first question in my March Q and A.  Asking if Hoss had any other questions for the HOHs out there in blogland.  Eric was the only HOH to respond in a post of his own, though I did get an email from Roz giving Rick’s ideas as well.  Hoss took some of that lovely information from Eric (who I used to think was a very sweet HOH, now I’m not so sure) and applied it….literally and liberally to my bottom.

Now, some of you newer or less adventurous readers out there may be wondering what in the world am I talking about.  Well let’s put it this way...it was not a spanking that Eric suggested.  I would have probably been a bit chagrined if he suggested I needed one, but I am used to spankings as well, being Baker and all, I tend to be in trouble more often than the rest of you very submissive souls (snickering).  

No, Eric, in his HOH wisdom, suggested something by the name of capsicum cream.  Does this ring any bells with anyone else out there?  Well, there are some things that Eric suggested here that required a bit of further information, as we had never tried anything like capsicum before.  Something to do with where that capsicum should go.  So off I went to send a little email asking for verification and further explanation on what this was all about.  Afterall, there were a few horror stories out there that I had no desire to be apart of any way, shape, or form.

Dear Amy, well, she gave some very, very pertinent advice in her response back.  Good information.  It included the cream will last up to 24 hours after application (seriously good info to know), it can be activated by heat (her example included sun hitting the seat in her car and rewarming her backside), and best of all the antidote of using milk (definitely a need to know if for some reason your HOH applies a bit too much to your hiney}.  She described the feeling as being that warm after spanked burn or sting that we all enjoy.  In my mind I’m thinking, it really cannot be that bad, as Eric and Dear Amy seem to use it regularly and know what they are talking about.   I thanked her, thinking I had all the of the best information friendship can buy, informed Hoss of the information, and I purchased the capsicum cream once he thought it might be worth the try.

So about two weeks ago was our first introduction to this “silent spanking” cream.  Well, my first introduction as you all know was Hoss applying it, not participating, even though I suggested he should.  (I’ve been told I’m sassy that way!)  Well, let’s say it was just as she described.  A nice after spanked feeling that lasts and lasts and well, lasts.  Not awful, in my humble opinion.  Not dramatic, but it did one thing I was not expecting.  It changed my attitude.  I had been feeling a bit snarky and I went from snarky to, “I love my man!” within just a few minutes.  It was also a very good reminder all day long.  Hoss checked on me regularly to make sure it was not too uncomfortable or anything.  I have to admit there were a few times I was silently cursing Amy, as the lingering sting went on all day long.  Even though I enjoy the after spanked feeling as much as the next girl, all day was too long to feel that way.

The surprise came the next day.  I woke up with a migraine.  Mind you I rarely have migraines.   Part of me worried if there was a connection between the “cap” cream and the migraine, but it was just impossible to know as my neck and shoulders were hurting as well.  I thought perhaps I had slept wrong  Regardless, Hoss called from church and suggested I take a nice hot shower and loosen up those upper back muscles.  Ahhh, that sounded really good.

STOP LAUGHING!  You may know what was going to happen, but I am still in the learning stage here and well..I was not thinking clearly from the pain meds.   I said to stop... I can hear you giggling and snorting your coffee.  Enough already!

So I get into the shower.  Things are going fine as I stand with the water hitting my face and front.  I’m enjoying the shower until...I had to turn around.  I turned to allow the water to hit my shoulders and things went wrong…  Like I was literally doing a “just spanked dance” in the shower while trying to let the water hit my shoulders.  After about 30 seconds, I realized Dear Amy was dead wrong.  It can last wwwwayyy more than 24 hours (we were looking around 28 at this point) and I gave up and got out.  The burn was intense.  I was rubbing and dancing and calling Hoss from the bathroom.  Mind you, Hoss is at church, but I called his cell anyway.  I had many not so nice things to say about Dear Amy and her advice right then.  And do you know what that man said?  He laughed. My head is hurting, my bum is burning, and my man is laughing and snorting into the phone at my predicament.  (Be careful, folks, no spilling your coffee or tea here!)  He kindly got himself under control and suggested I go back to bed and rest up. I did.  Yes, I can be obedient that way.  (I know, hard to believe, right?  Had to have been the migraine).  The cool sheets felt very nice and helped to take away some of the burn.  

The next day I was feeling much better and had my second dose as well, sorry folks, Hoss knew he was on to something that worked when I needed the extra incentive to behave.  The problem here was that I had just taken a nice long hot shower.  Do you all know what happens when you have a nice long hot shower?  Yeah, me neither.  Well….it opens up your pores!  Like it really opens up your pores and that cap cream, well, let’s just say it hurt like it did the day before, just way more intense.  That just spanked feeling, it lasted all day with a very hot bum.   It was also a day that most of my things on my “to do list,” had to be done while sitting, so it kept me plenty warm, to say the least.  What fascinated me again though, was how compliant I felt inside and I felt good inside even if my bum did not fare to well.  Thankfully, folding chairs tend to be cool, even if they are hard, and it kept the warmth from getting out of control.

I finally emailed Dear Amy and got a wonderful response.  You guessed it, she was laughing!  She said, “I gave you the antidote.” Well, yeah, she did that.  So came my grumblings and complaining.  Dear Amy, I love you, girl, but see there is a wee bit of a thing that neither you or I considered in our discussions.  We are not at the same season of life as you guys.  We have loads of young tender minds wandering around.  The only bath we have is in their bathroom.  If momma had walked upstairs, grabbed a gallon of milk out of the fridge and started filling up the bath I’d have loads of explaining to do.  The burn on my butt, was way more tolerable than the headache that would have been caused by all the questions those little and not so little people would have asked.  Oh, and that applying the cap cream after a shower.  Yeah, she thought I knew the answer to that one too.  I can laugh now at my naivete, and it’s thanks to Dear Amy as she definitely helped me to see the humor in all of this!   So, I learned something valuable about Dear Amy.  I need to ask heaps and tons of questions just to make sure I have all the information needed before I bring an idea to Hoss.  I also need to realize all of the trial and error we have had is helpful to all of you out there.  No thanks needed, it was worth it.

So, things to know about cap cream as shared by Amy----AFTER THE FACT as well as a few of my own observations!

1. Do NOT take a shower prior to application.
2. It can last up to 48 hours (Thanks to Cat for that tip!)
3. Heat really and truly can reactivate it every single time.
4. After awhile that just been spanked feeling is not as fun hours later.
5. That I hide my bum at the mere thought of cap cream being mentioned by Hoss.  (Just 
so you know, backing against the door with hands securely attached to your backside 
does not aid in it not being applied.)
6. The saying, “Do not try this at home,” could definitely be applied to this post.
7. Do not suggest to Hoss that it works best if the cap cream is applied prior to a spanking.  
(Pray he skims over this part when he reads this…)
8. Finally, you can take a shower afterwards if and only if you are brave enough and smart 
enough to put your bum against the shower wall and keep it there while you turn just enough to wash your hair and body.  Trust me on this one, it will safe you a great deal of pain.
9.  Make sure your HOH puts gloves.  Without gloves there is a serious risk of not washing all of the cream off his hands.  Ensure you do not touch your bum after application.  You do NOT want to risk touching a sensitive area such as your eyes, nose or private areas.  This is a bum cream ONLY.
10. Double check you are not allergic to any of the ingredients in the cap cream.  You could also try a teeny amount first to see if you have any type of allergic reaction.

Dear Amy, you are an awesome lady and I do appreciate all of the advice.  I will make sure in the future when I pick your brain, to ask many, many questions even if I think I’ve got something figured out.  Would have saved me from that “shower dance” and the “after shower my pores are open dance!”  or learning how to manipulate the shower or….anyway, you get the picture!  Thanks, Eric and Amy, for your help and for reviewing my post!

--Baker 



Monday, April 2, 2018

Life Marched On and Now I'm Late Posting My Answers

I am so sorry to be so negligent.  I know I keep saying this to everyone, but busy seems to be my middle name right now, or maybe my last name as life seems to be running me and not the other way around.  So today I will plan to finish up my belated March Q and A and then I have a post I'm working on that I plan to share later in the week.  I seem to have trouble following instructions (stop giggling, I can hear you already!).  Actually, that post will have to do with my first two experiences with capsicum cream and thanks to Amy fully explaining the instructions (after the fact, mind you) I will have a lovely post up and running soon.

Now that I have already overshared a bit about my next post, I had best get busy and answer last month's questions, so I can start the other post with a clear conscience.  It was not my intention to leave you all hanging for two weeks to answer these questions.  So without further ado, here we go!

Speaking of Amy.... I think I will start by answering her question first.

So, my question to you is what made you start to comment, to then start to blog, and to reach out by email?
Well, let's just say it was the desire to review an ARC that enticed me.  Another blogger and also author, Jane Henry, had put up a request for ARC readers and I sent her an email asking how to go about reviewing the book.  It's funny, but I actually (at least I'm pretty sure, mind's a bit fuzzy here on the details) but I did not comment on a post until I became Baker, at least as Baker, I may have done a few anonymously, but those were very, very few.  I remember being frustrated with figuring out how to do it anonymously and that stopped me for the most part.  Yes, I know computer illiterate and all.  I keep meaning to improve that part of me, but it is what it is...


Okay, so that's the first part of Amy's question down.  Second part.  I started to blog because I was encouraged.  Meredith thought I wrote well and encouraged me, though it took a lot of convincing.  She stuck with me through those first timid steps until I was off doing my own thing.  I am grateful for her patience, guidance and words of encouragement as I made my beginning.  Also to the others, including Hoss, who supported me in this fun endeavor.  

Lastly, Amy asks about emailing.  Well, that's how I did it backwards.  I did not comment first, I know, silly Baker!  I actually emailed a few including Jane, Cat, and Meredith early on.  Tested the waters and driving others nuts by asking questions.  I am good that way!  Anyway, after blogging I continued to email and kept asking questions.  I still do to this day and most of my blogging friends are those that I email at least weekly.  

Now, I'm not sure how many of you know this about us, but those friendships help me immensely, but it was a reader that became a friend (Bea), that truly helped answer a ton of my DD related questions.  It was that friendship that kept me blogging when I wanted to stop.  So even though many of you out there never say a word through comments, I really wish you would drop me an email from time to time.  I think that's where I've found the most happiness with blogging.  Hearing from those reading in an email or comment.  That is encouraging and helps me really learn from those around me.  And to blatantly honest here, I get why you do not write or comment, but for me taking that step just opened so many doors.  Yes, it was hard and at times I felt burnt, but I would not be here now if I did not step out of my comfort zone and emailed.  I found the benefits far outweighed any downfalls and to be truthful, those downfalls were so few and far between.  Stepping down off my soap box now!

Second up is one of my favorite bloggers, Miss Lindy.

My questions are for both of you. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you choose?

What's one item you always pack when travelling?

Hoss already answered his last month, so my turn!  I love the mountains, but where we live is perfectly beautiful and home to me.  It would be hard to leave, so instead I will tell where I'd like to visit.  Alaska and Australia are both on my short list!  Maybe Canada as one of my friends tells me it's quite beautiful there as well.  

What do we pack when we travel?  Bertha typically.  Even though I have suggested she take her own vacation...else where....away from me!  Too bad Hoss insists on her traveling with us.  She really needs to find her own man, don't you think?

And now we hear from Ronnie.

Have you or Hoss bought any new implements lately and if so what are they?

Not really anything new here that I can think of?  Whatever you do though, I beg of you not to mention the cane to Hoss.  I do believe silent implements are deadly to my bum and really and truly do not wish to meet any new ones!

Roz asked two questions.  One I'd answered in my last post because it was easy.  This question has taken considerably more thought.

What changes have you noticed in both yourself and Hoss since starting ttwd?

Well, Hoss had a quick answer. Sorry, folks, I am way more long winded than he is on questions such as this one.  I have noticed I am internally calmer.  Not that I am a total freaked out mess before.  I was not, but I do yell or get frustrated or get rude when I have just had enough.  I do not like that part of me.  So DD helps considerably there.  Also, I think I use my words more.  Before I would bottle everything up and it would randomly come slipping out when I'd had enough and I'd kind of blow up, melt down and then try to do damage control.  That is not the same now, for the most part Hoss can see me heading in that direction and a spanking stops it, like almost immediately.  I also am happier in our relationship.  We both feel heard and valued like never before.  This is one question I truly could go on and on about.  We have both truly seen that much growth in our relationship.

Whew!  All done!  That was so much fun!  I feel so much better getting those answers out to you all and not sitting there mulling around in this noggin of mine.  I will have my next post up soon.  I'm hoping by Friday, but you know...life happens.

--Baker






Sunday, March 18, 2018

Life Marched In! A Few Questions Answered

Hey, you all, we are going to slowly answer questions as a few require a lengthier response than others.

Morningstar asks, "How did you choose the name Baker?"

I completed a post on that early last year, so I will link that here. https://oursweetapproach.blogspot.com/2017/01/whats-in-name.html

An update on this is I did reconnect to the original Baker about a month ago via Facebook.  That has been a good thing, to get to know one another again.  I truly think she's still one of the most amazing and encouraging people I know.
Lea asks, "In your group of friends, what role do you play?"

I pondered this one quite a bit.  I am really black or white and rarely gray, well, I can be gray, but it would be a very interesting circumstance to get me to be gray.  Okay, that said I'd say, if I instigate and I am in charge of something I can be totally in charge.  If it's not really my deal I am just as happy, prefer this as I am in introvert, to sit quietly in the corner and hang out with one or two friends.  

I do not particularly like crowds, but our family is a crowd to some people, so I am not sure about that.  Maybe it simply depends on the company at hand. I do enjoy visiting with people.  Love one on one or two on one chats.  Those are times I can totally talk someone's head off.  

Maybe the best way to explain this is to give you an example  When I went to a women's retreat last month I was quiet, reserved and though thoughts swirled around in my head, I did not take much time to share my thoughts.  I tend to blush when put on the spot and sometimes become tongue tied.  At the same retreat was my bestie. She was seated at another table.  We had a great time in our hotel room and talked until we practically fell asleep visiting.  We talk almost every day, several times a day in real life, so that does not surprise me.  Hoss recently commented that he is amazed we even have anything to say to one another as we are always talking.  So maybe, under the right circumstances, I have the gift to gab afterall.

Part 1 of Roz's question.  What is your favorite movie?

I have several.  Dead Poet's Society, A League of Their Own, Beaches, Steel Magnolias, Remember the Titans, Miracle, Chronicles of Narnia, The Blind Side, The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings and Courageous or Fire Proof.  I'm sure there are others.  There are a few and ones I truly could watch over and over.  Hoss laughs that we are both into sports dramas.  

Well, I will continue to work on the other questions..  If you have any additional questions, I am listening!

Also, I am still waiting for a few more of those silent readers to come forth and say, "Hello!"  I really do encourage you to step out as I too know what that feels like.  I believe every blogger has felt the shyness and uncertainty of not knowing what to say.

Hope you are having a great week!

--Baker



Sunday, March 11, 2018

Life Marched In! And So Did Hoss!

We received a few questions from you all asking for answers from Hoss.  So without further ado, here is my man with a post all his own.

An introduction is in order.  I have read most of all the posts, but never posted or commented on any yet...

My name is Hoss and with my wife we try to live a DD lifestyle.  My wife introduced me to to it about two years ago.  I was totally against it at first.  I was raised never raise your hand or paddle to a lady.  I have seen other relationships that were not DD, but abusive.  I didn't want anything that would open that door or appear to be that from the outside looking in.

I do have to say that my wife is persistent and we talked and talked.... and I asked and she answered my questions/concerns.  The rest has been put into words for good and bad for everyone to see.

Amy's question:
"Hoss, we blog friends get a lot out of sharing our experiences with each other.  As the HOH, do you have other men in your role who you confide in about this dynamic and if not, is there a question you would like the other men out there to answer?"

My answer:
Amy, I do not have any friends I confide in though I have read other posts and blogs from the web.

My questions for Eric and other HOH's is this:
How do I read when to stop?  My wife has shown that sometimes I stop too soon.  We haven't ever gone too far.

Consistency.  She has moods and sometimes it is frustrating to not discipline in the moment, but I don't want to discipline angry.  We have problems with being consistent on a daily basis as life gets in the way.  I need to redirect during those times and would appreciate suggestions on what others do or think.

Ronnie/s question.
"Have your or Hoss bought any new implements lately and if so what are they?"

My answer:
Nothing new, but have at least tried or use regularly the following implements....we have a houseful of kids.  We have the ever reliable Bertha, but she is LOUD!!!  But we have Loopy and SID and we have tried different household implements and different combinations of implements like Sloopy a combination of SID and Loopy  A hanger words really well. The tool used to spread frosting on a cake works well too (SID).  We have tried dowel rods and plastic dowel rods.  Most everything hurts in the moment, but Bertha has the best lasting power.  

Lindy's Question:
"If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose?  What's one item you always pack when travelling?" 

My answer:
Somewhere with my wife.  Anywhere that's not crazy hot.  We'd love to visit Alaska and Australia.  We love the mountains best.

Bertha is packed and her traveling companion (Baker).  

Roz's Question:
"What changes have you noticed in both yourself and Baker since started TTWD?"

My Answer:
We are both much calmer and have better communication.

Thanks for asking your questions!

--Hoss 

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Life Marched In! Questions?

Hello, to everyone!  It has been forever since I wrote, seriously an entire month has succumbed to my busyness.  I have been reading as often as I can and being prodded by a few to get my questions and answer post up.  I often wonder what or why a blogger does not post for awhile. Yes, life gets in the way, but I also believe, for me at least, once I'm gone for a bit it's so much harder to get back into the swing of things.  No, there are things meandering around in my head that I want to discuss, but lack of privacy from the kids, time restraints, and knowing what topic will flow best from my fingers at the moment are big factors that come in here regularly.  There are times I will stare at the computer and have no idea where to start and end up with some of my favorite thoughts right there for everyone to read. Other times, I simply struggle through every word and it still does not sound right.  Those I will send to a blogging friend who will encourage me to put it up or make suggestions for changes.  Sometimes it will take Hoss validating my thoughts for me to know what I have written is true and to the point enough to be read by all of you.  That's a really weird description to why I've been MIA, but that's where my thoughts were and needed to share.
(Unfortunately, this is oh, so typical of my day)


So that brings me to this whole thought process of asking questions and answers.  I drive some of my people crazy simply because I like to ask questions.  I like to know answers, but the question has to be written out there to know what people are interested in.  I'm a bit backwards sometimes.  I also like to ask you all questions, to see where you are at as well.  Call it research.  Call it being annoying.  Call it what you will, but I have no idea how to make this work some days.  Sometimes it flows from the land of milk and honey and seems too good to be true.  
(I live by this motto with my poor, sweet man too)


So I ask you folks questions and many bloggers are excellent to respond with their thoughts, encouragement, etc.  But it's the silent readers, and I know there to be you aplenty, who remain there, almost in the shadows.  I wonder how to call you out of those quiet places to be apart of the conversation.  When I read my first TTWD/DD blog I was fearful to comment, but I did email the author of the blog rather quickly.  Besides I'm fairly computer illiterate at times and need extra instructions to make sure I do not delete my entire post because I'm too busy trying to figure out a link!  Blogger is also a bit of an annoyance in the fact that it regularly eats my comments.
(I like to think I am, every once and awhile)

Where does this lead this rambling post?  Well, to ask all of my readers, not just other bloggers, to step out of their comfort zone.  If you are not into commenting, but would like to send me an email, I'm good with that.  I also think if you want to comment ask a question and let's see where this takes us.  Ask me those hard questions.  

Like how in the world did we end up here?

Or why do I call myself Baker?  

Oh, or the one I wonder about the most, what do I look like when I'm blogging? 

Not really, I already know the answer to that one.  I look so silly making faces.  I know because when I read or write I tend to make facial expressions that go with what I'm reading or writing.  Trust me, my kids know when I'm texting friends I do the face thing.  I'm pretty much an open book like that, which is not to my advantage.

I doubt I have anything close to all the answers (there are days I'm lucky to remember why I came into a room), but I know l'd love to create a dialogue, I'd love to hear what you are thinking about, and how you do your version of DD or TTWD or d/s.  I enjoy learning about people.
(This is me....anticipating your questions)

So ask away....I may even be able to get my sweet man to chime in on some of his thoughts on this as well.  So let's all spill our guts a little and share...  Let's get those questions rolling out and I will happily do my best to answer them.

Much love to you all!
--Baker

Thursday, February 8, 2018

What's Your Love Song?

So I have been so absentee lately around here and my apologies to everyone.  Life is just, um, life, I cannot even quite explain the level of sickness we have dealt with or how busy Hoss has been.  Just crazy.  Why I sat missing him this evening (working late again) I began to wonder about something.  Let me see if I can word it well.  A friend of mine on facebook posted something about what would your theme song be for....  Anyways, I began to think and wondered what our theme song for our marriage would be....
I plan to ask Hoss when he has some time, but I think an old 80's song that fits us well is one by Dan Hill, I Never Thought (That I Could Love).  I have printed the lyrics below for those who are unfamiliar with the song.  I would also encourage the rest of you to leave your thought on your love song for you and your loved one as well.  If your spouse/significant other would be willing, please share his or her choice of song as well.  


"Never Thought (That I Could Love)"

Can I touch you?
I can't believe that you are real
How did I ever find you?
You are the dream that saved my life
You are the reason I survived
Baby...

I never thought that I could love
Someone as much as I love you
I know it's crazy but it's true
I never thought that I could need 
Someone as much as I need you
I Love You...

Can I hold you?
Girl your smile lights up the sky
You are too beautiful for the human eye
You are the dream that never dies
You are the fire that burns inside
Baby...

I never thought that I could love
Someone as much as I love you
I know it's crazy but it's true
I never thought that I could need
Someone as much as I need you
I Love You...

You are the sunshine in the sky
You are the sparkle in my eyes

I never thought that I could love
Someone as much as I need you
I know it's crazy but it's true
I know it's true
I never thought that I could need
Someone as much as I need you
I LOVE YOU

I very much feel Hoss' love in this song.  How beautiful and grateful I am for his sweet love.
So, Hoss, Happy Valentine's Day a tad early.  Thank you for being my dream man.  Here's to our love song.

--Baker