I Said No, and No Means NO!

Okay, so I know the title could mean a number of things, but I’m pretty sure not what any of you are truly thinking.  See Sunday afternoons around here can be pretty hectic or very relaxing depending on what is going on.  Sometimes we are rushing around trying to get ready for the week.  Sometimes we are just chillaxing (I know that is hard to believe, but every so often it happens) and taking the day slow.  Church, a little football game on tv, a nap.  Those kind of things. Sometimes one of us is grocery shopping, helping kids with last minute school or sports related stuff, making sure everyone has laundry for the next day, etc.

Well, this past Sunday, we had one of those where I was doing stuff around the house and Hoss was watching tv and napping intermittently (it was one of those times when he needed the extra rest as he had worked the night before as well as that morning).  I received a phone call while grocery shopping.  Oops, I forgot to wake him up from his nap at 2:45.  Okay, no worries. Kids woke him up (ugh! That could be good, could be bad, but he seemed in a good mood.)  I said I was on my way, but then I got distracted and took longer than I expected.

I arrive home asked the kids to put the groceries away and went to check on my man.  Let’s just say Hoss was very ready for me to be home and not because of the kids.  So, door was locked and things began to happen.  Very nice things (says Baker blushing).

Knock, knock….

(No, it’s not a knock, knock joke!)

“Yes!” I call through the door in the middle of…..

“Mommy!”  followed by our youngest going on about some very minor insignificant thing.

“Go upstairs, tell so and so, mommy’s busy right now!”

“Daddy!”  (smart kid!)

Hoss laughs, “Listen to Mommy, go tell….”

As soon as we hear his little feet pad back towards the stairs we resume the very nice things.  Whispering softly back and forth to one another, giggling softly.

Knock, Knock…..

(No joking, it had been less than two minutes!)

“Mommy!” frantically yelled through the door by our youngest daughter.

“What?”  I yell just as frantically desperately trying to multi-task.

“B ran over my hand with the wagon!”

“Are you hurt?”  We both pause here.  No real crying going on, just a few recovering hiccups (and that was from Hoss--Just teasing, he was fine.)

“There’s a little skin coming off!”

“Okay, go see if R can look it over!”

“Okay!”  She runs (she’s always running) up the stairs.

Ah, where were we?  Oh, yes.  More sweet caresses and oh, so many delightful things and the words, that man knows how to….

Knock, Knock….

(Are you kidding me!)

“What!”  This time the niceness in my voice has totally worn off.

“Can I have something to eat!”

“Yes, and please tell everyone else that Mommy and Daddy are busy!”

Sigh!  That should take care of things as we hear him yell it to his siblings on his way upstairs.  Hoss smiles at me.  I smile back at him.

“I love you!”

“I love you, too!”  Much fun commences and things are heating up nicely.  He strokes my cheek, kisses me gently then more passiona…..

“Mom!”

Banging on the door.  (We are going to have one less child by the end of the day!  Just joking, but oh, my, our patience is......)

“Mom!”

“NO!” We both holler through the door “Seriously, go upstairs!”

“But I….”

“No!  No, means no!  Now go upstairs!”  Frustration definitely apparent in my voice.  Footsteps sprint to the stairs.

We look at each other and giggle.  We then proceed to finish what we started.  Softly.  Lovingly.  Quietly.

Like I said, not what you expected, but it is what it is….

I love our life.


--Baker

Prayers for Roz

Good Morning, Everyone!

I received an email last evening from our sweet Roz, http://roz-inhishands.blogspot.com/ informing us that her mum had passed away this weekend after a massive stroke the weekend before.  Please join Hoss and me in sending hugs, our love and prayers to Roz, Rick and their family as they go through this difficult time.  The funeral is scheduled for this Thursday (New Zealand time).

With our deepest condolences....

Much love--Baker and Hoss

Happy Thanksgiving!

Just a thought.....

Or two, or four, to amuse you!

Regardless how you spend your Thanksgiving we hope it's a good one!  

For all of those who this is just a normal day for you, have a lovely one too!

Hugs and blessings from Hoss and Baker

And We Are Back!

And we are back!

Wait?  Hold on a minute.  You did not miss us?  You did not realize we were even gone! 

Well, that is because we did a good job hiding it.

Actually, it was because of LOL days that you probably did not notice.  While away I was still able to check the comments and do blog hopping during the drive.  Then when we had a few minutes here or there I would try to check in as well.  It worked out well and I was very tickled with all the sweet comments.

A few of you may be wondering what in the world I have been up to.  Well, Hoss and I had a very lovely, much needed weekend away.  Let me share about it…

We left town on Friday and headed towards our destination of a lovely bed and breakfast.  This particular bed and breakfast has a little house that does double duty with one side as a massage area and the other as a romantic suite.  It is away from the main house, so thankfully we had lots of privacy. 

Friday evening, once all settled we met a friend for dinner.  Not just any friend though.  Hoss and I ventured out to meet one of my favorite bloggers, Cat. http://gigglesgrinsandreflections.blogspot.com.  I was so nervous and Hoss was so sweet.  He kept a lookout as we arrived first and when she arrived I was almost speechless.  That did not take long to remedy!  We chatted for way too long and even had a brief Facetime with Lindy over from Downunder Dreaming http://donwunderdreaming.blogspot.com sadly we were all having too hard a time hearing one another to Facetime long, but still was so happy to visit with both ladies. 

Cat was extremely considerate to Hoss, providing him (more than me), two new spanking implements (a lovely plastic cutting board and a spoon that read heat resistant to up to 400 degrees!)  as well as pop rocks.  Apparently, her plan was for Hoss to attempt to match the shade of red.  By the way, 400 degrees is not recommended for a spanking temperature just in case anyone was wondering!  Your loved one may very well be overdone at that point.  Just saying!  Not a fun game if you ask me.

I questioned the idea of pop rocks, but after quite a long pause (I was probably as red as our new implements) I was given the gist of what the pop rocks were for.  If you are interested and as naive as I am, ask Cat the answer to that one.  I’m not sharing.  Turning red again just thinking about it. 

We left only after Hoss informed us the wait staff was getting eager to leave (who closes at 8:30 on a Friday anyway?) and Hoss and I headed back to our bed and breakfast.  Well, after a bit of relaxation in the Jacuzzi we were headed off to bed.  The next morning we kept ourselves quite entertained as breakfast was not served until late (well, late for us early risers).  You would think on vacation we would sleep in.  That was not the case and after some fun with the flogger and a quick shower we were off for breakfast. 

No problem, right?  While enjoying our breakfast the owner asked if we needed anything.  I asked for our towels to be refreshed.  Nothing more.  Thinking they would bring some by when we returned from breakfast.  What did we stumble on as we returned to our room?  The owner cleaning up our room.  He was making our bed.  Hoss, being the sweet man he is, jumped in to help him.  I stood silently watching them both chatter away when my eyes wandered to the chair next to the bed.  Guess what lay there, folks?

The flogger. 

NOT, where we left it!  Yes, it had been on the bed.  I left the room for the en suite.  Um, fresh towels, check.  Bertha, Loopy and Cheese (Bea) visible on the top of our suitcase, check again!  I flushed a shade of red even my bum could not achieve even after a bad spanking and returned to see Hoss thanking the owner for the help.  The owner left and I turned to Hoss and said, “Can you believe it?” 

Hoss looked confused.

“Did you notice anything wrong?”

Hoss shook his head.

“Did you notice where the flogger is?”  The light dawned in his eyes and that man….that man of mine…..

He began to laugh! 

“No, you don’t understand!” I informed him, “We left the flogger on the bed!”

His laugh continued. 

“Do you want to know what’s worse?”  He shook his head.  “Bertha and the others are out in plain sight!” 

He really roared with laughter then.  Hoss just did not get it.  He was not embarrassed, but I was 50 shades of red at that point.

I shook my head thinking my man had lost it.  This was embarrassing, not funny.  I sent off a text to Cat hoping for a bit of understanding, perhaps, maybe a bit of sympathy.  Can you believe it!  She just laughed right along with Hoss! 

You are all laughing along too...well, maybe it is a teensy weensy bit funny.  Now, that I step away and think about it, I can enjoy a giggle too.  Just at the time, embarrassment had too firm a grasp on my thoughts.

The rest of our day was fairly uneventful and very restful.  We ate well, enjoyed one another’s company, had a bit of adult fun and I actually fell asleep early for once!  The next morning I was relieved to see the owners were not serving breakfast even though I had been careful to pack the toys away before leaving our room.  We then headed out for another visit with Cat. 

We were caught up with lunch, talking and the football game on tv.   We did talk ttwd/dd and I will inform you that it is not wise to let Cat explain what a barn burner is to an unknowing husband.  No, need to share why that is, but I can let you know it is totally an unnecessary conversation to have! 

It was a lovely weekend and I am so thankful we were able to have some downtime away.  I do want to thank those who took a few moments to stop by and wish us a happy LOL day.  I hope I was able to get around to everyone else’s place and say hello.  Thanks again to Hermione at Hermione’s Heart (http://hermionesheart.blogspot.com ) for hosting LOL Day #12. 

If, by chance, you did wanted to leave a comment and have not, I’m always here.  Well, not always, but I do check in regularly and I’m happy to meet an un-lurker anytime! 

Have a lovely day!

--Baker

Loving On Our Lurkers Day!

Today's the day!  

It's finally here.  

Calling all lurkers far and near!  

I've looked high,

I've looked low,

and there are lurkers wherever I go!

Do you know what day it is?

You guessed it!  Love Our Lurkers Days have finally arrived.  Two whole days of encouraging each one of you lurkers to stop in and say, "Hello!"  For those of you who are brand new here, I'm Baker and my sweet hubby, Hoss, and I are raising a crew of kids and having a blast growing closer through DD.  I guess I'd describe myself as....

I have been blogging right at a year. I've learned so much from those who have taken the time to comment.   I'd really suggest taking that first tentative step and commenting.  Or maybe sending out an email.  That's how I began and it lead to blogging with lots of encouragement. 

So come out and make friends today.  This is totally all about you guys!  I'd love to hear from whoever feels so inclined to drop me a kind word, a silly comment or an all out email.  I'm learning along with the rest of you and just so you know and Hoss will most definitely agree...

I do enjoy hanging out and learning from others.  So, don't be shy.  Say, "How do you do?"  Blog hop around and make some new friends.  Hopefully, one of them will be me!  And just so you know....

Shh!  Don't tell Hoss, but seriously, let's do this!

Hugs!

--Baker

P. S. Thanks so much to Hermione at Hermione's Heart for hosting this year!  http://hermionesheart.blogspot.com/

.  

The Dress, The Brat, and the Gala

I think the title sums up what I'm about to blog to you about.  You see I could make this simple, and I probably should, but the full story is much more interesting than saying I really needed a dress for a fundraising gala for my husband's work and I was a brat about it.  There's really not much to it if that's the whole story, right?  Well, we all know there is much more to this story than that long sentence, so here goes.

About a month ago my sweet man came to me excited about a fundraising event for his work.  He wanted to know if I wanted to attend with him as employers were getting a discounted rate on tickets.  It was a black tie kind of affair.  Not really my thing, even back in the day when I worked outside the home for a living.  I kind of said something to the effect of, "sure, whatever, you want to go, we'll go."  Note my lack of excitement.  I'm a stay at home, live in jeans, t-shirt and tennis shoes.  An occasional skirt for church is about as fancy as this girl gets.  No shame in admitting it.  I had come home to care for babies some 15 years ago and the once slim figure who always dressed to the 9s has come to enjoy the more relaxed pace being a mommy meant for me.  I can honestly say the last time these legs saw a pair of tights was the last gala thing for work he took me to two kids ago.

But the thing was for some reason through the many discussions regarding this coming event it never registered to me that I would have to wear a dress!  I know, I know, silly Baker, should have saw that one coming.  See in my mind I had a suitable skirt, black flats and blouse that would suffice.  No shopping needed.  Did I mention I hate to shop for myself?  And when I do go I take my mom.  Who knows what I like and who helps me quickly find something suitable, so we can go shop for the kids, who are much more satisfying to shop for.  Okay, did I also mention that Hoss did not inform me of the fact that a dress would have to be located until after the tickets had been purchased AND it was the day before the event?  Yeah, I have a feeling he knew I'd chicken out if he told me too soon.

Okay, maybe not that bad, but it can try me quite a bit.

So with the decision made to purchase said dress I double checked my schedule for the day and figured I could eek out a few hours later in the afternoon.  So I got myself geared up to handle this situation.  I know what you are thinking?  What's the big deal.  Well, the big deal is this body no longer fits into a size 8 and my shoe size is no longer narrow, but rather a wide.  I was not looking forward to this dress shopping trip at all and bemoaned it aloud to dd and vanilla friends alike.  Thank you, ladies, who encouraged me to obey my husband, that I would find something I loved, and it would all be fabulous.  The coddling did help, some.

So, I was on the way home from an appointment and Hoss called to say he would be joining me.  Wait?  What?  The man does not go shopping unless it is occasionally for his own clothes or a new tool or a piece of technology.  Now I realize many of you are accustomed to shopping with your man.  I applaud you on that.  I am not.  I was rather shocked that he said he wanted to come along.  My vanilla friend, E, suggested that he wanted to ensure I actually bought something.  All I have to say to that is humph!  I'm not that big of a brat am I?  Oh, wait, that's what this particular saga is about.  Me..being a brat.  Goodness, you guys do not know how to cut me any slack.

So after a bit of this and that we finally set ourselves on a time and arrived separately to knock out this dress thing.  Now, the actual selection process was not too bad.  It was actually kind of cute.  I'd hold up something hideous and he'd laugh and shake his head.  Cheetah print?  Nah, not me.  Oh, one that's all blinged out and brightly colored.  Again, not me!  He would laugh or smile at my silliness and I would respond with a giggle or sassy remark.  I found two suitable black dresses, but I really wanted something with a bit more color.  I was having absolutely no luck and started to have a few second thoughts about this whole selection process until.....

Hoss found it!  A sage green dress for me with a pretty crocheted cream colored cardigan to go with it.  I must say he knows my color scheme well.  I was tickled with his choice.  It was just classy enough and I had ballet flats at home that I knew would look very cute without causing me to kill myself breaking in a new set of dress shoes.  No, heels were out of the question, I was doing my best to enjoy the experience without landing flat on my face trying to go out of my shoe comfort zone, people.  

The problem came when my self esteem plummeted in the dressing room.  I tried on the black dresses and did not like how I looked at all.  Those babies had done a number on my once flat tummy and the bulge, bulged just enough to make me look pregnant!  Ugh!  I hated the way I felt in those dresses.  My jeans and t-shirt never made me feel this way.  I could find nothing wrong with the dress, just the way I felt in them.  The only dress that worked well was the one he choose and it was the last one I tried on.   It made me feel a teeny bit better.  If anything I hoped he liked it seeing he too had nixed the other three dresses I had tried on.

I came out and he looked me over with a smile from ear to ear then said, "That's perfect!  You look beautiful in it!"  I smiled back, but I was still feeling down about the way it looked.  I proceeded to tell him I'd need at least a girdle to flatten my belly a bit and tights and....  "Yes, well, you'll have to look for those things yourself.  Work called and I have to go deal with something."  

Wait.  What?  Are you kidding me.  I was just telling him how down I was and he was leaving me.  Alone?  Seriously, bad timing for that one folks.  He gave me a quick kiss and was off.  I returned to the dressing room dejected.  I know, I know, I was probably being silly, but seriously I was disappointed.  I needed him to build me up and wait, what about our dinner plans?  Here I was struggling with body image and though he said the right things my whole being felt neglected and crushed.  So I changed my clothes and headed back out into the store.  Then it happened.  My sadness turned quickly to frustration and anger.  How dare he leave me all alone to get a dress for his stupid thing he wanted to go to.  

I felt a complete meltdown heading my way and yes, my inner brat came roaring out full force.  I literally stood in the middle of the store, dress and cardigan in hand and thought I'm going to put this dress back and leave.  It was obviously not that important to him if he decided to leave me standing there all alone knowing how awfully I felt.  What was wrong with him?  What was wrong with me?  I should just forget this whole dumb thing.  I would look ridiculous anyway.  My inner brat was at her finest and I was cheering her on.  NOT a good idea under the circumstances.  

I was seconds away from leaving and going home, forgetting everything the dress, the girdle the cardigan, the gala.  EVERYTHING!

But as I hemmed and hawed my phone pinged at me.  It was a message from Jane (The Taming of the Shrew) asking how my day was going.  My thought, "It sucked right at the moment."  I looped that dress over my arm and went into complete complaining mode at what had happened.  If my man could not hear me at least my friend would.  When it came to the part about putting the dress back I could feel her cringe through the phone.  "Don't do that!  Think of about what Hoss will do if you deliberately disobey him."  Wait?  Hoss?  Hoss, who?  Oh, right the big man in charge.  The one who thinks Bertha is a friend.  UGH!  Now, what....

My whole going-to-buck-the-system attitude felt like someone had let all the air out of my balloon, but not all the way.  I pouted then.  I did not want to hear that.  I wanted to be encouraged to defy the system.  So I texted E (my bestie and vanilla friend) and sent her a picture of the dress.  I also sent Jane a pic as well.  They both loved the dress choice.  Of course they did!  Geez, who side were they on anyway?

Meanwhile I was in the pajama section looking for the thickest flannel pajamas I could find.  Why?  If I had to buy the dress I was not going to be in the mood for anything fun tonight and he was just going to have to suck it up.  

Stop gasping in shock!  Seriously, I will wait until you can breathe again.  Let me know when you are ready to continue.  Okay, you all good?  Okay, let's continue the story....

I was being a brat and my inner brat was in a rare form of defiance.   After a few more texts reminding me this was not the end of the world the gentle rebuke text came across to the effect of, "Do what you want, but think about what's going to happen and who's in charge."  OUCH!  The thing is, "I didn't wanna!"  Yes, I know, I know.  I asked for this relationship. I wanted it, but there are some days the old me just wants what she wants when she wants it and right now she wanted to leave and go home and sulk, lick her wounds and hope for the best.  But you will all be happy to know I did not do that.

I left the pajamas.  I left my pout.  Picked up the dress and bought it!  I'd literally spent an hour and a half of my time pouting and debating and messaging and stomping my foot a few times and whining to get to that point, but I did it.  

I went out to the van and hung up my purchase and took a deep breath.  I texted my man.  He texted back to give him a few minutes.  Hoss called a few minutes later and I gushed out he story to him so fast he had no idea what I was talking about.  He said we could talk about it over dinner.  What? Even after my confession that I was not going to get the dress he picked out, he wanted to take me out to dinner.  REALLY?  After all that fuss I made?  Let's me just add here there are days my man has the patience of a saint and today was one of them.  Commence happy dance.

We did discuss things over the dinner and as usual he was very sweet about the whole thing.  When it came to the part about what he would have done had I not picked out the dress, well let's say it did not sound like a road I would have enjoyed going down.  He was proud I had made the right decision, happy I had friends who understood and helped me, and thankful I got the dress he had chosen.  He even understood why I felt the way I did about my body image.  What a sweet man to hold my hand and be able to look me in the eye and say, "You are beautiful no matter what."  Awww, he melts my heart.  Tissue, anyone?

We did go to the gala the next night.  I curled my hair, shoved my body into some tights and a girdle then put on that lovely dress.    It was also sweet to hear our children remark at how pretty their momma was and how they loved my hair down and curly.  It amazed me that my outlook changed just by the encouragement of my sweet hubby and kiddos.  They were proud of me.  It does not matter if I'm a size 16 or a size 8, my peoples love me just how I am.  It was a good lesson to learn and one I am thankful to have such wonderful people who love me.  We even took pictures!  Well, a few people who had dealt with my complaining, read here E and Lindy (At Dreaming Downunder) had actually kindly ask that I send them one to see what all the ruckus was actually about.  I was actually happy to take those pictures because the thing is here, we have daughters.  I want them to realize that whatever size they are, even if they struggle with their weight after having babies, that they need to see themselves as we see them.  Beautiful.  As they were so kind to see me that night.  If I do not model that in front of them they will not do that for themselves.  They will tear themselves apart and I do not wish that for them.  I want them to be comfortable in who they are and one way to do that is to accept me for me at the moment.  This whole episode made me a bit ashamed of myself for how I had acted.  I was so thankful none of our little ones had observed my behavior because that is not what I want them to imitate.  

The evening went so well.  It was in a beautiful venue and I was thankful we had gone.  The food was not very good, but the message behind the fundraising was excellent and brought tears to my eyes.  It was well worth the time to go and enjoy that special evening with my hubby.  The best part is after noticing all of the beautiful women in that place I could tell my sweet Hoss only saw me.  His eyes were only for me.  That in and of itself people made me feel like the richest woman there.

So that's the story of, "The Dress, The Brat and the Gala."

Wait!

Hold up!

What, Baker, no spanking in this story at all?  

Geez, louise, people, I do not get spanked over every little thing or even big things.  

Okay, okay, I did get spanked.  There was a bit of a reset spanking the morning of the Gala, but it was more a sweet reminder to make sure I was in the right frame of mind for the evening event.  

So all and all everything turned out well.  I learned a great deal and I am a better person for it.  

--Baker

Today Is....

Well today is a very special day for Our Sweeter Approach to Life.  One year ago today Hoss pushed the orange publish button and you all kindly welcomed us into your lives!  I say us because although I do all the writing, Hoss does all of the reading.  He's a great editor for content and at keeping me focused on the topic, while giving me great post ideas.

So I wanted to share some thoughts on our first year of blogging.

There are simply days that....

When I'm here......

I love it when.....

Some day I hope we can all get together and celebrate.....

I feel like......

Know that.....

I seriously sometimes forget that....

And many times it's best to.....

When I am like that it's best to know.....

There have also been days.....

Please know there have been days I have felt the need to say....

Know that.....

Every day I need to remember....

Even so there are times I feel like.....

And that Hoss should definitely remember that.....

I've also tried to cop out and say.....

Yeah, those days do not end really well for me, but I'm learning.....

And that.....

I try to remind myself that.....

I'm so thankful that Hoss understands.....

But Hoss also knows sometimes I just need to be.....

So thanks for joining in our lives and we've so enjoyed making friends, so....

And finally, to all who read here I want to.....

And because I love you guys.....

Much love!--Hoss and Baker