Empty

I need a fill up!   I’m running on empty a lot of days.  My tank cannot seem to keep up with the demand most days as I run from here to there trying to keep up with it all.  Stopping to fill up can be so inconvenient with a houseful of kids and groceries and errands and...and...and...the list goes on and on.  I’m a mom by day and a Uber service by night pretty much day in and day out.

Now, you may be wondering how many ways I can say this without being any more cliche.  You may be curious why I am so worried about my tank being filled.  Well, things work and perform better when they are on full. Optimal performance, I believe it’s called.

Hoss is doing his level best to keep the tank full, but with everything going on these days some fill ups only seem to last a few days at best when they used to last a good week.

The stakes can be so high when the tank is empty in the middle of rush hour traffic!  I become the not so nice Baker and rather a cranky lunatic yelling at everything that moves in my direction.  Trying to push the vehicle to the gas station is not the easiest thing to do either.  Especially, when you’re almost to the point of swearing because you’re stalled out in the turn lane.

So what’s the solution to this craziness???

Do less?  Nope...not going to happen anytime soon.  Too many responsibilities that will not automatically disappear.

Be more planful, so the tank does not get empty to begin with?  That is helpful in its own right, but things still happen.  Not every day, but often enough.

What about trying to combine those errands so I’m running less?  Maybe...but often times that is just not possible.

More spanking so you don’t run out of gas the next time?  Well, that would fill the spank tank, now would it not?  Yup!  I'm all for that!

What...you did not really think I was talking about gas, did you?

--Baker
Thanks, Fondles, for reminding me of the idea for this post!  Thanks also to Lindy, Amy and EsMay for gently encouraging me to write here again.  You, ladies, are the best!

Alexa, Stay Out Of THIS!

I recently purchased Hoss a fun new gift.  I was promised by two friends that he would love it!  I am not a techie, gadgety sort of girl at all, so I just took a leap of faith here, people, that my man would love it.  Hoss did love the gift of an amazon echo by the lovely little name of Alexa.

....wait...what...some of you do not know what an Alexa is?  Well, let me inform you.  Alexa is a little computer doohickey that is determined to prove she knows everything!  Weather?  she's got you covered.  News?  she knows exactly what is going on where and even knows my husband's preferences on where he hears his news.  Sports?  she knows exactly who beat who in the preseason as well as who's up for draft, who's been injured, etc.  you name it, she knows it.  In other words she's a busy-body-know-it-all who likes to meddle in things.

Which leads me to my post.  She knows songs.  Did you know Alexa will sing to you or play you her favorite songs?  Do you know that the day Aretha Franklin passed away that Alexa's favorite song that day was RESPECT.  Yeah, she also knows how to play 80s music like nobody's business.

Need a little early morning spanking music...she's got you covered...well, in this case Hoss covered.  It's just her choice of music that has me wondering if she's got some sort of Supergirl perception on what Hoss needs and when.

Now, now, now, you all think Baker is overreacting, don't you?  Well, for once you, folks, are wrong.  DEAD WRONG!

I am not overreacting! Last week we were up early getting ready to have a little bit of spanking action.  I was in a teeny tiny bit of trouble (STOP LAUGHING!  teeny tiny bits of trouble do happen around here)....anyway...Hoss had me over the bed and as it was creeping close to the time a few kiddos may have been waking up he said, "Alexa, play 80s music."  Alexa pops on and starts playing this song.  It starts slow, but literally one of the first lines in the song was about hitting your mark.   Seriously, Alexa, the man has NO PROBLEM hitting his mark!  He's actually extremely good at it...regardless if I want him to be or not.  You'd think he'd occasionally miss and hit the bed once in a while, nope, not him.  UGH!

So we heard the hit the mark and both dissolved into giggles thinking Alexa had really picked a good one for that one.  Haha, Alexa!  right? Maybe....

The next day we are getting ready for a little reset type of spanking and well, Hoss repeats the phrase, "Alexa, play 80s music."  Well, you know what that She-Devil decides to play?

Nah, not going to tell you....too embarrassing....

Wait...I got distracted...that's what this post is about.

You really do want to hear what she did to me, don't you?

Geez, nosy bunch of people!

She decides to play Pat Benatar's, "Hit me with your best shot!"

Now, I"m sorry....that's just not funny.  I tell you she's got this thing about reading my man's mind!  Wait....maybe he's pre-programmed her to respond that way?  Wait?  Can he do that?  I have no idea...remember...I'm not tech savvy at all.  Can he do that?  I'll have to ask.

Because I'm almost certain after today's spanking Alexa either has it in for me or Hoss is being very clever!  Today Hoss says, "Alexa, play 80s music."  Things were moving along rather nicely.

That did not mean Alexa had to play Billy Joel's, "We Didn't Start the Fire."  No, thank you very much!  Hoss did a fine job without her input!

--Baker