Maintenanc-a-pline

Maintenanc-a-pline.  What?  You’ve never heard of that before.  Come on now….Really?  I mean doesn’t your husband like to make up words as much as mine?  Pfff!  Well, you all are definitely missing out.  NOT!

Well, to be completely honest, I had not heard it before Hoss used it either. My sweet husband decided upon that word many months ago.  See around here maintenance (not that I particularly like that word) happens fairly frequently.  Almost daily I would say.  I asked for it, it helps me to be reset.  Less stressed.  Come to think of it, it is actually more for stress relief because um, I have this thing called a short fuse.  

Wait, that’s not quite right.  I’m more of on a slow simmer most days.  When I cannot function at super woman capacity, I kind of get, let’s call it crabby.  Hoss, would call it something else, but let’s just pretend, for the purpose of this blog, that grouchy is an appropriate word and move on.  The thing is, we are so busy, and when the kids do not pitch in to help, I tend to bellow rather than react calmly.  I also do this to, Hoss, but not near as much as I used to.  

See this is where I’ve overstepped my boundaries and Hoss has to step in and deal with undesirable behavior from me.  He does not particularly like the word punishment though funishment is acceptable.  He likes the word discipline, but well, sometimes, discipline cannot be doled out when it happens and maintenance is going to happen anyway so maintenanc-a-pline it is.  It doesn’t really matter to me the word so much as it hurts like the dickens either way I look at it.  So basically, to summarize is maintenanc-a-pline is when maintenance marries discipline because maintenance was going to happen anyway and there is a discipline hanging out there waiting to happen, so let's just join the two in holy matrimony and move on.

So the other morning I had worked myself into quite the maintenanc-a-pline.  I knew it was coming.  I’d been sick with a sinus infection and toothache for several days and though I had been pretty much incapacitated for at least three days, I knew my bum would lose it’s spank-free status at some point.  I mean, geez, a girl can only be good so long, right?

Well, not according to Hoss.  He decided a healthy dose of maintenanc-a-pline was in order for not doing my check-ins throughout the day and then I sort of lost it on him momentarily when trying to explain a frustration I was having with one of the kids.  Please do not get me wrong.  I am allowed to share my frustrations, but talking over him, arguing or not being willing to listen to his point never goes over well here.  He sees that as disrespectful and I agree, it most definitely is...At least I didn’t sigh or cover my ears or better yet, turn my back and ignore him.  I know, I know, that would not help the situation.  Well, I know now it doesn’t help at all, but I digress.

So yesterday morning I had the opportunity to experience “the Cheese”.  Yes, I know, you all had wonderful and lovely creative suggestions, but he went with his own word... again.  I know, HOH and all that, but good grief, let’s “bea” more original, fella.  What is so unique about “the cheese”, but he likes it and well, it’s his cheeseboard, so what’s a girl to do?  Yes, just choose not to pick that battle and let it die before it starts.

Where was I?  That’s right.  I had a painful….er….I mean enlightening experience with the cheese board that left me sitting tenderly for a bit.  I still think it is crazy that being paddled can actually make me so compliant, but not like a forced compliance.  It is more of a heart change.  I went from being a crabby, complaining wife, to his sweet, adoring wife in the time it takes to experience a much overdue spanking.  I love feeling like that!  Well, everything, but my bum likes it!  I ended up having a fairly stress free day and enjoyed our kids and Hoss last night.  I know that maintenanc-a-pline is not easy to get through, but once it is over it’s a cure all for me.  My heart felt lighter than it had in days.  Now, that is a win all the way around if you ask me.

Hope your Thursday is a great one!

--Baker

** My apologies, sweet friends,I have been away far too long. I looked at my last post this morning and was shocked to see it had been almost three weeks since I last posted.  I have been in and around blogland briefly, but only commenting occasionally.  Life just feels like it’s happening at the speed of sound and I am always lagging behind.  But never fear, soccer season is almost over here and I hope to be back to posting more regularly!