A Little Bit of Cleansing

Well, look at me.  Blogging again already.  What has got into the air lately around here?  Aside from the wonderful seasonal allergies that is....  

Hoss and I are getting along quite fine and we are slowing down for a few weeks before things pick up with all of the kids' summer activities.  There has been some stress around here.  I know, I know, hard to believe, right?  Hoss has been doing his best part to keep me on the straight and narrow.  Well, as best as he possibly can, as I do not do well under a ton of stress.  Okay, you got me.  I tend to totally freak out when things become overwhelming.  The sad part is the kids and Hoss tend to get and hear most of that stress as is pours out of my mouth at them.  

I've been praying about how to stop this behavior and we have tried some options including me taking a time out when I get frustrated, lots of deep breathing and there have been spankings when Hoss hears me truly get out of control.  It's not something I am at all proud of, but sometimes I let the stress build up and bad things happen.  

So the other day I asked for a cleansing spanking, a reset of sorts.  It was an idea of sorts that I felt would help.  Basically the idea was to assign an implement to each child and the number of swats would be the child's age.  Hoss would then spank using that implement and I focused on how my relationship with that particular child could be helped or improved.  

Now, I'm not saying this was an easy spanking by any means.  It was not easy to take at all. Hoss' favorites came out to discipline and I had a few choices as well.  Loopy was last as it was the worst and Hoss' belt was the first as I was given the option to organize them from the one I disliked the least to the worst.  

This spanking left a good impression on my backside, but it impacted my heart far more.  I was able to forgive myself and work towards better options for handling my stress.  It made me feel cleansed.  That made be hard for others to understand, but it set things to right again.  I appreciated that he heard my need to rid myself of the guilt and move on.  To use spanking to heal my heart.   I have also asked a few kids for forgiveness and asked them to help remind me when I sound too harsh.  They had no idea why I had requested it, but kids are gracious and forgive easily.  I am grateful for that.  

I think some might find this harsh, but remember this is something I came up with as I knew it would be similar to a reset and would basically reset my mind/heart.  It did just that and I am really feeling far more content.  By forgiving myself and moving past that I can be the mom and wife that I want to be.  I also like knowing that I get another chance each day to improve me.

Thanks for listening!

--Baker