Wednesday, May 8, 2019

A Little Bit of Cleansing

Well, look at me.  Blogging again already.  What has got into the air lately around here?  Aside from the wonderful seasonal allergies that is....  

Hoss and I are getting along quite fine and we are slowing down for a few weeks before things pick up with all of the kids' summer activities.  There has been some stress around here.  I know, I know, hard to believe, right?  Hoss has been doing his best part to keep me on the straight and narrow.  Well, as best as he possibly can, as I do not do well under a ton of stress.  Okay, you got me.  I tend to totally freak out when things become overwhelming.  The sad part is the kids and Hoss tend to get and hear most of that stress as is pours out of my mouth at them.  
I've been praying about how to stop this behavior and we have tried some options including me taking a time out when I get frustrated, lots of deep breathing and there have been spankings when Hoss hears me truly get out of control.  It's not something I am at all proud of, but sometimes I let the stress build up and bad things happen.  
So the other day I asked for a cleansing spanking, a reset of sorts.  It was an idea of sorts that I felt would help.  Basically the idea was to assign an implement to each child and the number of swats would be the child's age.  Hoss would then spank using that implement and I focused on how my relationship with that particular child could be helped or improved.  

Now, I'm not saying this was an easy spanking by any means.  It was not easy to take at all. Hoss' favorites came out to discipline and I had a few choices as well.  Loopy was last as it was the worst and Hoss' belt was the first as I was given the option to organize them from the one I disliked the least to the worst.  

This spanking left a good impression on my backside, but it impacted my heart far more.  I was able to forgive myself and work towards better options for handling my stress.  It made me feel cleansed.  That made be hard for others to understand, but it set things to right again.  I appreciated that he heard my need to rid myself of the guilt and move on.  To use spanking to heal my heart.   I have also asked a few kids for forgiveness and asked them to help remind me when I sound too harsh.  They had no idea why I had requested it, but kids are gracious and forgive easily.  I am grateful for that.  
I think some might find this harsh, but remember this is something I came up with as I knew it would be similar to a reset and would basically reset my mind/heart.  It did just that and I am really feeling far more content.  By forgiving myself and moving past that I can be the mom and wife that I want to be.  I also like knowing that I get another chance each day to improve me.

Thanks for listening!

--Baker


12 comments:

  1. Hi Baker, it's great to see you post :)

    Gosh, it's no wonder you were stressed with such a busy family life and everything you have on your plate. I can relate to freaking out when things become overwhelming and responding to stress in ways I regret.

    That was so brave of you to ask for this, good on you. I'm glad Hoss understood and was able to give you what you needed and that it helped.

    I bet it wasn't easy to get through, just doing the math on number of children and ages lol. As for the loopy...no loopy is entering this house! LoL

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    1. Roz,my sweet friend, you crack me up! No, loopy at your house. Maybe someone needs a present! Just teasing. I am so thankful Hoss understood and did his best to help me along. He is very good at helping me when it comes to stress relief. Hugs!
      --Baker

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  2. Perfect timing for me on this one. You are right, a spanking can help a heavy heart. Guilt is a killer and really doesn't help anyone. I'm glad you and Hoss found a way to lighten your load. Hugs and Happy Mother's Day.
    Amy

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    1. Thanks, Ames, I know you get why I needed this so badly, but I was concerned others would not. A reset or cleansing of sorts is one of the most helpful things for me in this relationship. I tend to hold to stuff on the inside until it comes spewing forth. Never good when that happens. I know you cannot wait for Eric to get home, dear friend, but I know you will feel that release soon. Happy Mother's Day to you as well!
      --Baker

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  3. Your post today made me remember what a hard month May was as a school teacher. Besides having a talk with my students on the first of May about how I wanted our last month together to be, I had a clipboard with each child's name on it. I tried to catch them being good, being thoughtful of others, and staying on task. Then I would put a little check by their names. When every kiddo had enough checks, we would celebrate with some ice pops and a little extra recess. It kept them more focused that last month of school. Try something with your horde of little ones, Baker, and hold on to your sanity.

    From One Who Knows,
    Ella

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    1. Miss Ella,
      You truly have some of the best ideas out there. My kiddos would love for me to praise them more often, and I'm working on it. Thank you for sharing your idea. This may be a great way to "catch" and "reward" goodness all at the same time!

      --Baker

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  4. good to see you back Baker :) :)

    and it doesn't sound harsh to me at all this cleansing spanking. In fact I was just lamenting on my blog that I think a good spanking would heal a multitude of problems.

    I hope it helped and that life settles down a wee bit for you -- even if just for a few weeks till summer activities.

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    1. MS,
      You are always so sweet. I agree that "a good spanking would heal a multitude of problems." That is well said. Yes, slowing down for a few weeks and then, "Boom!" off and running again. Just life around here and it's all GOOD!
      --Baker

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  5. glad you feel cleansed and can start fresh. as parents we all have days in which we react to stress in ways we wish we didn't. summer days will be here soon... Hugs

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    1. Terps,
      I agree as parents we just apply so much pressure on ourselves that it becomes ridiculous sometimes! I am thankful that my kids are extremely forgiving of my less than stellar attitude some days. I pray I can be as forgiving towards them when they mess up as well.
      --Baker

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  6. New reader here, but I love your honesty in this post. Very brave of you to ask for what you needed. I'm glad it helped. :)

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  7. I am so glad..and thankful ..you shared with us. Asking , even after all this time, has always, and still is, difficult for me. And those voices in my head...they can come up with so many reasons not to ask. That is one reason M came up with a Monday maintenance spanking...to quiet the voices, and so I...don't get too 'needy', ( I hate feeling needy, and then retreat...M says my neediness feeds him), They are hard spankings...not fun..but they do leave me calm and knowing that I am His, and He wants all of me..always and all ways. ( He uses those words a lot during maintenance). I don't know why or how...but sometimes a 'good' hard spanking...works magic. hugs abby

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