"25," he said sternly and boy, he sure was NOT happy with me. I stopped, but continued mumbling under my breath. "I have seen this kitchen look gross, this is not gross, it's not really bad at all. Breathe."
I bit my lip. "Okay," I tried to bow out gracefully, but he would not let me go with just that. He didn't even say anything just gave me that look. "I'm sorry, it doesn't look gross, but I told so and so to do such and such and it's not done and I'm tired of picking up after everyone!" I declared this as if it would change his mind. Would it grant me some form leniency?
We did not have time to get to those 25 yesterday, but I'm nervous. I do not seem to be handling things as well since I was sick. My skin is just more sensitive. It's like I've got a "Virgin butt." Ugh! Could that possibly be true? What is wrong with me?
I have jitters. I am not scared of a spanking at all. I just do not like the pain during the actual spanking. Afterwards I'm fine. I still definitely love the way it resets my heart and I feel very loved. But during I'm struggling, actually fighting the process with myself and sometimes with Hoss. He knows how much I respond to this type of discipline and I know he's being careful with me. Lots of breaks and words of encouragement, but folks, I do not know if it's just very sensitive skin from the meds I'm on or I'm just seriously starting over again.
Ideas? Suggestions? Anything would be helpful. I just don't feel like myself in this area right now....
--Baker
PS: I'm really sorry this is so late. My weekend was crazy busy, productive, good, just busy.
Hi Baker, I'm so sorry you are struggling with spanking at the moment and wish I had some advice. It could be the medication partly eith making your skin more sensitive or effecting your emotions, which in turn effects your response.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think it's fair enough to get cranky with having to pick up after everyone and when people don't do what they're meant to. I hope it is behind you soon (so to speak). Having to wait also sucks
Hugs
Roz
Hi, Roz, don't worry about me too much it always works out. I do not like having to pick up after other people even my own children and I have a fiery temper at times which I've asked Hoss to help me tame. I get myself in these messes. Maybe I should stop asking him to help me! LOL!
Delete--Baker
nodding I hear you Baker - I honestly do. Sir Steve has such great plans for our new bedroom / play space. He is even planning hooks to go on the inside of his cupboard door to hang his favourite toys.... and I shudder. It has been a long time since we played with any real intensity. The last time he tried - I totally wimped out! It broke my heart on many levels.
ReplyDeleteI do believe that after a long absence from 'real' spanking one's ass can become more sensitive. I would ask you - when you first started spanking - what was your reaction? did it hurt more and then you kind of toughened up?? I know I did ....... I like to think that the skin toughens up when spankings are more regular and that the skin becomes more tender when there isn't any regular spankings...
All that to say - I wouldn't stress too much ...... hopefully you and Hoss will have time/opportunity to spank more frequently and your bum will toughen up... you'll still have butterflies (hell after all this time I still get butterflies!) but they'll be more fun butterflies :)
Morningstar, I am hoping it's just a fresh butt to be spanked. I really believe that once we get back into the "swing of things" my butt will be toughened up again, but it's the getting there....ugh! You are right, the butterflies get better once it's back into the routine of things, it's just the routine of things is taking time to get here, consistently. And overall, I'm just more sensitive about things than I used to be, so maybe my skin just wants to be that way too. Who knows?
Delete--Baker
Sweets, MEDS and BEING UNWELL are both prime candidates for making one's skin more sensitive. PERIMENOPAUSE does too. Paresthesia is a symptom I get fairly regularly and it's not fun at all.
ReplyDeleteHaving been on a spanking-holiday also does that to a person's behind. I know that after not being spanked for ages it's like my butt is on fire with just hand spanking. When BIKSS plays with his belt (which I love, btw) i feel as if I'm going to split into two.
So yes. There are very real physiological reasons - you're not being a wimp LOL.
Fondles, your advice to me and others is priceless. I say yes to it all! I do not have the paresthesia as often, but I just think the meds have made my skin feel different. I agree with time and adjustments I do believe it will change back to what it was before being ill. Thanks for your sound advice.
Delete--Baker
I received the following email from PK yesterday, because blogger was being a bear and wouldn't let her in...so here's her comment:
ReplyDeleteI know how sensitive your butt can get when you take a long break! When I think back to what I could take when we first began and what I CAN'T take now it's amazing. But you can probably build back up.
And here's where I go from preaching to meddling - My mother, whom I loved/love dearly, ruined so many Sunday afternoons, Christmas Eves and many other holidays when we were all home by bitching and griping about the darn house. I hated it! I know it mattered to her, so I should have cared more, but all I felt was the negativity. I'm much older now, and I keep my house reasonably neat, but my daughter doesn't. Her's is always a wreck - and no one cares! I say, just sit in the mess and enjoy the family. I so wish Mama had.
PK
PK,
DeleteI am definitely hoping that I can build back up, but just need the consistency and maybe some mental toughness.
Your "meddling words," are true. My mom always worried about her house (it always looks fine) and I don't care what her house looks like. I just hate dirty dishes laying around the house or the kitchen. I can pretty much deal with the rest of the mess, but I feel mentally disorganized when my kitchen is in disarray as it's one of my happy places. I'm not as bothered by really any other area. But, Hoss knows this, and he was so right, I had nothing to complain about I was just being fickle. Thank you for your words, they reminded me to just enjoy the kids, the family, and stop fussing about the mess that I see. I do not want that type of negativity in our homes or kids' hearts/minds when they think of me when they are older. I appreciate your well timed words!
--Baker