I Have A Problem...

It's actually a bunch of little problems.  

Okay, that's not quite right.  

I actually think it's a lot of little people causing me a lot of little problems.  

Now, a few bloggers out there have reminded me throughout the past seven months that this blog is mine and I can post about any issue as I see fit.  Well, today the issue is socks.  

Wait, that's not quite what I mean.  Socks are just a part of my issue.  Socks are good things. They keep your feet warm or absorb your sweaty feet odors (come on we all know we have them) or maybe are just cute and comfy and make you giggle with cute little sayings on them.  I mean they can be such a fun part of your wardrobe!  Well, these cute, comfy little critters are causing me a whole lot of issues.  

They are unmanageable.  I wash them and they either multiply or divide themselves in the washer or dryer or both.  I really do not know.  There are either not enough of them to match or too many or the wrong size or the wrong color or something.  I really do NOT know.  

What I do know is my husband has a sock fetish.  I mean he really likes to wear them.  Like to work.  Apparently, they have this weird dress code where he works that requires him to always have socks on his feet.  I know, they are a bunch of crazy nutty people out there expecting a grown man to show up with socks EVERY DAY! 

In my little world of children socks should only be necessary if one is going outside, in public, with shoes on.  In my children's world, that is not necessarily true.  As in children in my little piece of America, think socks alone are okay to wear outside.  Like they cannot wear them in the house, no they must be worn outside without shoes and they must be returned covered in dirt or mud or grass or squished bugs or wet or ????  So in my opinion, no reason for said children to have socks unless we are leaving the house to be in a public setting that requires shoes.

In my world I wear socks every day, all day and also to bed because my feet are always cold.  I put them in the laundry basket.  I wash them and mate them and put them in my drawer.  I am pretty much the only one in my family that understands the real system here.

Well, back to my man.  You know, Hoss.  It would not be so inconvenient if said Hoss used his wonderfully intelligent and smart brain to utilize the system that he came up with to help his absolutely equally wonderful, sweet wife manage the socks of several children.  

Just a side note here:  The children and wife do not like the system and have a very difficult time following said system, but it's his system and he is HOH and well, if he wants said system in place it is in place (in theory) and said wife and children should just have to comply, except when they do not.  

Okay, is everyone thoroughly confused yet?  

Okay, okay, I'll slow down a bit.  Hoss needs socks for work.  Every day.  I must provide said socks as I am in charge of laundry.  Hoss has a system to help me not lose said socks and help to keep them matched.  I am to keep each individual person in our house's socks in individual lingerie bags.  They put clean matched socks from the dryer into their drawers and put dirty socks into the bags to be washed.  The children do NOT comply with said system very well and neither do I.  I find it tedious.  Especially, when the one who created said system does not follow it.

There, I think that's clearer.  This pet peeve that Hoss has, has in turn caused me a great amount of trouble.  Like when he reaches in his drawer for a clean pair and there are NONE.  I know you all did a gasp.  The same gasp as I do when I frantically leap out of bed to hunt down a clean, matching pair of socks for my man to wear.  Yes, this happens more often than I care to admit in my blog, but it happens frequently enough that yours truly has had swats applied to her backside on at least one occasion when said socks did not appear quickly enough.  You knew there had to be a spanking in here somewhere, right?  Stupid sock fetish!

This little issue has been an issue for 15 years.  Hoss has never taken care of his socks, but that was manageable until, well, maybe like 10 or 11 when little people learned to put their own shoes and socks on and I became less concerned about where they put the leftover or used ones.  Hoss likes to make them into little balls and let them fall off the bed onto the floor because apparently it is too difficult to take them off before getting into bed.  Or he will shed them under the computer desk because his feet became randomly too hot.  The children.  I have no idea where they put their socks.  To be honest I do not want to know.

I truly am the only one in the house that typically know where my socks are.  That and one sweet child who thinks the world of his momma and actually understands that socks do not miraculously appear like a dollar from the tooth fairy on their bed in the morning.  He will make some woman happy one day if I can keep everyone else from their negative sock influence.  To the other future spouses of my children.  I apologize ahead of time.  I have tried!

Hoss, does not understand my dilemma and it is my dilemma.   I figure if no one else cares to manage their socks then, why should I?

I just want people to not wear socks.  Or if they do wear them to take care of the ones they have, so I can find them when it is time to wash them.  And I do not believe anyone should have the right to complain if they do not understand the concept that dirty clothes should go into a laundry basket, gasp, and not beside it, and not under the bed or computer desk or stuffed in the couch.  

Ahhh, I feel so much better just sharing this quandary with you all.  Even if you all think me a bit odd for sharing it.

Have a great, sock free day!

--Baker