Our children do not know that Hoss spanks me, but they do know that Hoss is in charge and he has the final say. Over the past year I have deferred to him for more things than ever before. Do they see a difference? Aside from less arguing and more joy between their parents, do they see the changes going on? I do not know the answer to this question exactly, but I do think they notice their parents are more loving and kind to one another, less strife, more patience. Would I want for them to experience this lifestyle for their own when they become adults? I'm not sure if I know how to answer that one just yet. Very curious what others think.....
Secondly, who, if anyone do you share this lifestyle with?
We do not openly share this lifestyle with others in our family, but do they notice a change?
My mother has noticed a difference. Mom has remarked that I'm happier, but also is frustrated when I defer to Hoss. She has said often that she understands me wanting to be submissive (Biblical submission is what we discuss), but not why I have to ask him about plans and things that I used to just make on my own. Mom knows I've always been so independent, so I know she's a bit confused at the change, not telling her though. Good grief, can you imagine how that conversation would go down? Yeah, not going there, folks.
My best friend has questioned me at times about how I'm always listening to my husband. I have desired to share with her probably the most, but cannot. That would just be so awkward. Would she understand? She's not particularly submissive, so I'm not sure she would.
I also wonder, if there were no adverse repercussions, who would I tell first?
So, what about the rest of you. Do you share with loved ones? Would you want this for your children? Would you even feel comfortable sharing this lifestyle or suggesting it to a friend? I'm full of questions and ponderings this morning.
--Baker
HI there, i have shared my story with at least 3 people... trusted friends whom I know will not judge me. They know a little of it. That there is a D/s component, one knows about the dd/lg but perhaps not the EXTENT of how little I am around daddy (or in fact that I call him daddy at all), and yet another is probably just aware of the spanking kink in our relationship. I dont think any ONE person knows ALL about my relationship with BIKSS. it's more like how not ONE single friend knows EVERYTHING about you, but more like how 'friends' as a collective could possibly put all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that you "you" together to form the complete picture.
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids, so I can't imagine what it must be like to think about them having this kind of relationship when they're grown up. ANd i'm glad I don't have to ponder that!
Hi, Fondles,
DeleteI think that it's great that you have friends you are so secure and comfortable with that you can share this lifestyle with, even if they do not know everything about it. I think when I talk about submitting to Hoss that is as far as I can share, maybe we are just not far enough along that I'm comfortable or maybe I feel they would not understand. I appreciated your take on this, it does give me something to think some more on.
--Baker
As to kids, I guess it depends...LOL, not much of an answer, but if it something both partners want...the YES. I do not share...if I did it would be my sister...hugs abby
ReplyDeleteHi, Miss Abby,
DeleteYes, ma'am, I'd say that was quite the answer there! Lol! So if I'm following you correctly you would be supportive as long as both partners were good with it. I do like that perspective. Thanks for sharing with me!
--Baker
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DeleteSometimes I talk about how we divide our duties and responsibilities in s more traditional manner. However most of my family does. We are none of us shrinking violets yet big on respecting our spouses..... but I'd definitely not share the nitty gritty. At times my man has definitely threatened my butt in front of them! So I think they believe it's a joke.....playful.
ReplyDeleteI've deferred things to hubby in front of adult kids, saying dad will decide.... yet kids often come to me for decisions..... hmmmmmm.
I always hope they'd be respectful etc with partners. Good questions.
Hi, Minelle,
DeleteIt sounds like you'd be happy as long as there is mutual respect for all parties involved. Yes, our kiddos still come to me too, but that's because I'm always home and Hoss is not. If it's important or I know he'd want input I say I'll need to speak to him before a decision is given. I enjoyed your response! Thank you!
--Baker
Hi Baker, these are great questions. I can't really comment on the kids as it isn't an issue for us. I certainly haven't shared the nitty gtitty with anyone, family or friends. I think they do know that I defer to Rick though and am pretty sure they have noticed changes in how we interact.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Thank you, Roz, I'm happy you enjoyed the questions. I think most family members probably notice a difference, but do not know what to make of the changes here either. Thanks for your input, it was much appreciated!
Delete--Baker
Baker, I find this incredible as I have just written a similar post. I have come out recently to someone by telling them about our life style. In answer to your question, I think I would like our own children to pursue this lifestyle knowing how happy it makes Bear and I. They have all seen a huge change in us and guess they are wondering why. I'm not too open in discussing it with them. Bear has given me swats in front of them, don't know what they made of that. Our dil used to say to our son bite my bum, I know say spank my bum. So they might think its just a carry on from that.
ReplyDeleteGood questions though.
Hugs Lindy xx
Lindy, you two are so cute! "Spank my bum!" Goodness I'm certain your kiddos do wonder what's going on with their folks! Lol, I love it! Thank you for sharing with me!
Delete--Baker
I think I would find it hard to lie to someone close to us who asked, but a lot of me likes that it is our secret. Many people have noticed a change in us but usually just comment how lucky we are to still love each other so much.
ReplyDeleteElla
Miss Ella,
DeleteYou and Sam are very lucky and blessed to love each other so much! I love the secret, but for someone who wears her heart on her sleeve, it's very trying some days. I don't know how I'd react outright if asked, but like you, I'd probably be honest, even if I was red faced with embarrassment. Thanks for sharing your point of view.
--Bamer
I don't share with anyone in real life, though I think I have a couple of friends who would at least not get all judge-y on me. As for wanting it for my kids, yes. Or I wouldn't NOT want it. lol Whatever floats their boat. I won't be pointing any of them to any DD blogs or anything, but if they come across any, and they will I think, if they are wired that way, then I'd certainly support it.
ReplyDeletePenny, your response is excellent! I think you worded what I was thinking all along when it came to the kid question. I want what they want as long as they are happy and it's someone they trust and are in a stable and loving marriage. Thanks for giving me much food for thought.
Delete--Baker
My grown children know and they usually tell their boyfriends after a relationship starts getting serious. They want what we have and I give them the knowledge to reach for it.
ReplyDeleteKnowledge is power and it sounds like you are definitely empowering your children to look outside the norm of things to find what's helped you grow. I love that! Thank you for sharing.
Delete--Baker