Friday, May 5, 2017

When Did.....?

Not so many moons ago we started this little adventure and as I was pondering things this morning I came up with the reality that I have no idea when things changed.  I’m certain it was and is the same for most of you as well.  So, here is a bit of my wandering thoughts.

When did Hoss become a spanko?  Like when did that happen?  My sweet man who has always treated me like a prize (and continues to do so) and would never hurt me has become, a spanko.  Now, you ask, how do I know this? Well, the man gets a certain twinkle in his eyes when he or I mention words like Bertha, Senor Loopy or Sid.  He smiles wide and is at peace just by saying one of their names calmly to himself.  Yes, my friends, when did this wonderful man find his inner spanko.  As the old Tootsie Pop commercial says, “The World May Never Know!”  
I still love the tootsie pop commercial from when I was a kid.


When did this go from something I wanted. to something we both crave?  I’d love to know when that transition occurred.  It started out as something to help me feel complete and it evolved into something so much more than just being about me and my needs.  It became about him, me, us.  It strengthened our resolve to not be a statistic.  To cherish one another daily.  
Well, not exactly that kind of craving, but well....


When did we slip into our roles of a traditional husband and wife?  It was something to help our marriage, yes.  But when did it become where I meet him at the door excited to see him.  No, not Ward and June Cleaver stuff, but definitely something that is more affirming, more romantic, more intimate. Where I know he is in charge and it makes my heart beat faster just thinking of him.
Awwww


When did the spankings make things go from, “Hey, I’ll do this for you, but I don’t want to hurt you,” to “Hey, get over here, I’m going to spank some sense into you?”  Like, seriously, when did that happen?  I want to know when he went from spank carefully, my wife is fragile, to spank happy man? There are days I want Mr. Spank Carefully to return.  Geez.
This one speaks for itself.


When did once in awhile “exercise” become apart of the daily routine.  It “came’ quickly, I’d say.  Let’s just leave that one alone, why don’t we…..
Duh, no brainer.


When did the focus change from individual, do your own thing, to checking in and making sure we were both good with our plans.  That need to be connected daily and when the connection is not there it is not ignored, but felt deeply.  And knowing there is a way to improve it.


When did we become so connected?  I never remember allowing myself to feel so deeply and yet feel so much more myself at the same time.  Our connection has grown, but I also feel like we are both still so uniquely individual, but more of who we were before, if that make sense.  It as though by being a stronger couple we are allowed the freedom to be more of who we are as individuals as well.


When did I allow myself this vulnerability?  I have always been such an independent woman.  Even as a little girl I “didn’t need any help” and yet now I crave his help.  I want and value his input and wisdom.  In allowing myself to be vulnerable, I’ve allowed him to be affirmed in his role as my protector and leader than ever before.
I could not choose between the two of these, so I'm giving you both.



When did all of these things happen?  I do not know, but I’m so thankful they did.

I could go on, but I’m also very curious from the rest of you out there.  When did….(fill in the blank) happen?  I’d love to hear from everyone who stops in, even if you do not have a when did, please feel free to just say, “Hi.”  Thanks again for reading.

And just because it's Friday!


--Baker

18 comments:

  1. Baker,
    I adore this post! I think it is your best! It has my mind twirling with those questions. Things happen slowly and most certainly. We are entering soon year five of ttwd, and now I will answer your question with a post of my own. Excellent capture of the evolution of a sweet approach to marriage.
    Meredith

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    1. Thank you, M,
      I agree, it does evolve slowly and steadily. I'm glad I was able to get you thinking around those thoughts of mine. I still go back to the world may never know....but how sweet it is.
      --Baker

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  2. Baker,
    I first asked Harry to spank me when I was 18 years old. He was appalled and forbade me from bringing up the subject ever again. Well, you know that changed but it took 43 years! At first, it was strictly for fun, he made himself do it because it made me happy. That changed the day he spanked for real - he's come a long way since then!
    Rosie xx

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    1. Rosie,
      That is such a sweet story. It is quite amazing how they change their minds, is it not? I am always surprised that Hoss went from being so unsure to a confident spanker. Lol.
      --Baker

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  3. Smiling while reading this.....an amazing evolution. I am found of quotes..."each journey begins with one step"....taking that first step so scary...and yet what a wonderful journey. When did go from giving up...to realizing I had met my soul mate...not sure the moment, but it started with a very large step..a very scary first step that I almost did not take.
    hugs abby

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    1. Abby,
      Your story is an amazing amount of courage. Yes, each journey begins with one step. Totally believe that and it just goes on from there. Soul mate, what beautiful words.
      --Baker

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  4. I enjoyed reading this and sounds like you are in a great place. Hugs

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    1. Thank you, Terps,
      I feel we are and we are happily growing, which is a fun place to be, albeit somewhat painful at times.
      --Baker

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  5. Hi Baker, I absolutely loved this post, what a fantastic way of showing how your relationship has changed and grown. I think msny of us ask the same question. It's wonderful how ttwd, the connection and intimacy just morph and develop over time :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Roz,
      Morph is a cool word. I know there has been growth, that is definitely a given. I'm happy you liked the post. It was fun to think of the when dids....and how much we've steadily grown closer.
      --Baker

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    1. Thanks, Leigh,
      Not to sound snotty, but I'm happy for us too. I love the closeness we feel for one another. It's a very good place to be.
      --Baker

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  7. Baker, I knew what I wanted to say in my comment before I ever read Meredith's response. But I agree with her wholeheartedly. Hands down, this is the best post you have ever written. Your writing is evolving just as your relationship has evolved. I am so proud of you!

    Big Hugs From Ella

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    1. Aww, Ella,
      Your words always are so kind and make me smile. They are sweet and appreciated, especially coming from such a gifted writer as yourself. Thank you!
      --Baker

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  8. Love this post, Baker...just put a huge smile on my face. :)

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Thank you, Cat,
      I'm so thankful you enjoyed the post. You are always so kind to me.
      --Baker

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  9. Great post! And wonderful to hear how much the two of you are growing! These questions are fun ones to think on, though it's sometimes hard to pinpoint just when something changed because it seems it's often more of an evolution rather than something that happens overnight. ;)

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    1. Lilli,
      You are so right. Things never happen overnight like this, it's taken some time, quite a bit of time really, but we are getting there. Happy to see you again!
      --Baker

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