Thursday, May 31, 2018

I'm Still Here and Throwback Thursday Post!

It seems every time I get on here the last few months it’s to apologize for my absence.  This one truly could not be helped.  I’d told a few other bloggers I was taking an unofficial sabbatical (too stinking bad it was not paid!).  Maybe a better term would have been a self imposed time out!  Anyway, I just could not find it in me to blog and worse yet, in my mind, is I did not want to blog.  
I lurked when I could and commented even less.  I apologize, but I just did not want to be in blogland.  I do not mean for that to sound rude.  It’s not any of you, just  Hoss and I are doing some re-prioritizing and my focus needs to be more on our home and children.  I was also finishing a large project that took what little reserves I had left.  My attitude has not been stellar lately.  I don’t like deadlines, but I needed this one.  Thankfully that project is done.  

I am feeling much better and now I’m ready to creep back in slowly and enjoy Blogland again.  I also treated myself to a wonderful new book.  Maybe you all have heard of it?  Educating Jenny by Ms. PK Corey.  It’s her third book in the series of Cal’s Law books.  If you want a good read, I’d highly recommend it.  I love the progress of the story line from book to book and I truly wish more authors would consider writing more serial style books on one couple.  It's like blogging where we can see the progress in an individual couple.
Other than that excellent book, I’ve not even been sure what to blog about.  I told a few that my muse has left me.  Well, thank you to PK and Nora Jean (with a little additional shove out the door by Amy) I am ready to post a Throwback Thursday post.  I hope you all enjoy it!  

By the way, Nora Jean, I’ve only blogged for 19 months.  I still feel sometimes as if I am toddling about and have no idea what I'm doing while the pros are still cranking out interesting and entertaining posts regularly.

So without further ado...a post I wrote last spring..

When Did...?
May 5, 2017

Not so many moons ago we started this little adventure and as I was pondering things this morning I came up with the reality that I have no idea when things changed.  I’m certain it was and is the same for most of you as well.  So, here is a bit of my wandering thoughts.

When did Hoss become a spanko?  Like when did that happen?  My sweet man who has always treated me like a prize (and continues to do so) and would never hurt me has become, a spanko.  Now, you ask, how do I know this? Well, the man gets a certain twinkle in his eyes when he or I mention words like Bertha, Senor Loopy or Sid.  He smiles wide and is at peace just by saying one of their names calmly to himself.  Yes, my friends, when did this wonderful man find his inner spanko.  As the old Tootsie Pop commercial says, “The World May Never Know!”  

I still love the tootsie pop commercial from when I was a kid.

When did this go from something I wanted. to something we both crave?  I’d love to know when that transition occurred.  It started out as something to help me feel complete and it evolved into something so much more than just being about me and my needs.  It became about him, me, us.  It strengthened our resolve to not be a statistic.  To cherish one another daily.  

Well, not exactly that kind of craving, but well....

When did we slip into our roles of a traditional husband and wife?  It was something to help our marriage, yes.  But when did it become where I meet him at the door excited to see him.  No, not Ward and June Cleaver stuff, but definitely something that is more affirming, more romantic, more intimate. Where I know he is in charge and it makes my heart beat faster just thinking of him.  


When did the spankings make things go from, “Hey, I’ll do this for you, but I don’t want to hurt you,” to “Hey, get over here, I’m going to spank some sense into you?”  Like, seriously, when did that happen?  I want to know when he went from spank carefully, my wife is fragile, to spank happy man? There are days I want Mr. Spank Carefully to return.  Geez.
This one speaks for itself.

When did once in awhile “exercise” become apart of the daily routine.  It “came’ quickly, I’d say.  Let’s just leave that one alone, why don’t we…..

Duh, no brainer.

When did the focus change from individual, do your own thing, to checking in and making sure we were both good with our plans.  That need to be connected daily and when the connection is not there it is not ignored, but felt deeply.  And knowing there is a way to improve it.

When did we become so connected?  I never remember allowing myself to feel so deeply and yet feel so much more myself at the same time.  Our connection has grown, but I also feel like we are both still so uniquely individual, but more of who we were before, if that make sense.  It as though by being a stronger couple we are allowed the freedom to be more of who we are as individuals as well.

When did I allow myself this vulnerability?  I have always been such an independent woman.  Even as a little girl I “didn’t need any help” and yet now I crave his help.  I want and value his input and wisdom.  In allowing myself to be vulnerable, I’ve allowed him to be affirmed in his role as my protector and leader than ever before.

I could not choose between the two of these, so I'm giving you both.

When did all of these things happen?  I do not know, but I’m so thankful they did.

I could go on, but I’m also very curious from the rest of you out there.  When did….(fill in the blank) happen?  I’d love to hear from everyone who stops in, even if you do not have a when did, please feel free to just say, “Hi.”  Thanks again for reading.

Thanks for reading!  I hope everyone enjoyed this throwback Thursday, I sure did!  It definitely gave me the kick in the butt to get going again.  A special thanks to Windy, Amy, and Lindy for listening to all of my wishy washy, indecisive chatter on the subject of "to blog or not to blog."  Now, I remember why....thanks everyone!