Some will question my sanity.
Others will wonder what I was smoking (though I've never smoked anything, but pork in the smoker before, and I'm pretty sure that does not count).
Still others will have a giggle, then turn around and have an all out gossip session wondering what the heck is going on at the Carlisle Home at the next spanking bloggers convention (I know that does not really exist, but it would be a cool thing if it did.)
Okay, moving right along....
But I'm about to bare my soul here, so I'll just pretend you all will get your bless her little hearts out, have a quick gossip session at my expense and move on.
So, two mornings ago, I went nuts.
Right before I was to be paddled, I said something I never thought I'd say.
I know what you're thinking. I sassed off, right?
Nope! Been there, done that! Got the t-shirt.
Geez, you folks give me absolutely no credit whatsoever!
What kind of people are you out there anyway?
I see you smirking!
I can be good. I really can. I just am rarely good for the whole cotton picking day. (I hate saying that out loud, humph!)
But that is not the point of this blog post.
Wait! Where was I going with that?
Okay, I'm good. I remember now.....
The point is I asked Hoss to do something that I can in all good conscience, barely say what I asked, but need to share with you just to see if I truly did flip my lid.
I asked him to stop....
Using the cheese board.
I know, I know.... What? Why?
That's not your place....
It's his favorite implement right now.
LIKE ABSOLUTELY FAVORITE!'
We all know this, right?
It packs a good thud, leaves a sting, nice red bottom. All good criteria for an excellent spanking.
But folks, it was not cutting it!
No, I have not lost my marbles even though I'm sure a few of you think so, especially when I tell you what else I said.
Drum roll, please.....
What do you mean you cannot read that tiny print?
Hmm...still not working for you?
I admitted to what I did and I'm done now.
Stop your fussing, I can hear you already.
Sorry, this whole baring my soul thing is making me cranky.
Oh, you want me to say it a bit louder, so you can see it?
Clearing my throat now....
Really, folks, you still are not getting it, are you?
I asked him to go back to BERTHA!'
Oops, sorry, I really did not mean to yell it!
Let me interrupt this blog post to welcome those who are just joining us here in blogland. I asked my sweet man to go from using this:
To using this again!
Okay, back to our regular blog post.
So, I asked him this respectfully because the cheese, well, Bea as you all know her, just was not cutting it.
I know, here it comes, this chick has flipped, right?
Nope, actually I have not.
See the problem with Bea "the Cheese" is that she hurts in the moment. But the sting does not really last.
Now, you all know what I'm talking about. The little twinge you get when you sit down that reminds you that you've been spanked. The after burn, I guess is what it is called.
Bertha does that for me. And as much as I hate to admit it. I have missed that feeling. And so I asked Hoss to please spank me with Bertha.
There, I said it nicely and calmly. And I'm pretty sure I'm not crazy or nuts, even though I'm sure a few of you questioned my sanity, hoped I had something gossip worthy to enjoy....
But I have a feeling, that I am not alone in where I "sit" right now. Otherwise, you probably would not be on a spanking blog, would you?
Let me hear some, "Amens!"
Anyway, it's none of my business why you're here exactly, but glad to have you visiting.
So I wanted to end the blog post right there, but Hoss said, "Uh uh! No way! That's a cliffhanger, you have to say what happened."
So I'm obliged, as Hoss was so obliged.
I know he looked a little dumbfounded at my statement, then that grin. That wonderful ear to ear grin.
Butterflies tumbling all over themselves, as I handed Bertha to him.
Hoss took Bertha (a little too eagerly in my opinion) and said, "It's been a long time, old friend."
Geez, really? Let me not interrupt your moment, Buddy.
(No, I did not say that out loud, I'm crazy, not stupid! I just thought it, REALLY REALLY LOUD!)
Yes, that spanking happened. Did it feel good in the moment?
Duh, folks, that spanking hurt. Like really, really hurt.
And it was only maintenance.
But it worked.
Now, I know what you are wondering.
Come on....I know you want to ask....
I was wondering the exact same thing.
And, yes, you all, I felt like an old friend had come to visit too.