Tuesday, July 17, 2018

While the Cat's Away...

So Hoss is away for a whole week.  Now for some of you out there in blogland that is not any amount of time to be away from your spouse, but here it is rare.  This summer he will be away a total of around three weeks when it is all said and done.  About five days for work and the rest with camps with our boys.  He has promised me he will also make a daddy/daughters camping weekend sometime this fall before the weather turns, but that has yet to be scheduled.  But that is not what this post is about.  
This post is about ME!  You know the one left behind.  The one left in charge.  Well...Baker does not always do IN CHARGE so well anymore.  She relies heavily on her man while he is here for the support she needs to make it through the day.  It helps her to cope well and to manage when she is being pulled in a million different directions.  Look at me going all third person on you guys.  What I am trying to say is that is how we like it.  It suits us well as a couple and as a family.

I see myself as the manager to Hoss's CEO.  He runs the ship and I'm second in command.  That sort of thing.
Well, this particular eight day stint, that he is on, has thrown the manager and second in command for a bit of a loop de loop.  Very much like the one above.  Now, many of you are saying it's only eight days.  That is doable.  It started out very doable.
Saturday went well.  I was incredibly busy between ubering kids between two soccer games and a gymnastics lesson and at the end a birthday party for a family friend.  Whoo!  I made it easily through that day as I had commitments.  We came home Saturday night exhausted and ready for bed.  Kids were taken care of and I decided to have an allergic reaction to something.  I think it may have been the friend's cats.  I'm not sure, but when I woke up to get us all ready for church on Sunday, my eyes were practically swollen shut!  Yippee!  That is exactly how I wished to begin my day...NOT!
The kids and I stayed home and things went down hill.  I'm still not at all sure what happened or why, but it did.

Like little old me resting the day away until I could see better and the allergy attack subsided.  I was feeling better by the evening.    I'm like I am so good!  NOT!  I was feeling defiant.  I needed boundaries.  My boundaries were no longer there and I was feeling oh, so in charge.  I was feeling rather rogue.
I felt like breaking into the toy chest and wreaking havoc.  Getting rid of what I do not like, you know, like wondering if there was a way to saw or break Bertha (the bath brush Hoss loves to use to roast me) in half.  You know, like crazy stuff.  Wondering if I could get that cap cream all the way out to the trash before some kid asked me what was that or what am I doing with that (kids their never ending questions?).  Summer cleaning of the toy chest perhaps?  Well, thank you to my two friends who kind of started talking crazy sense to me.  Like you know, consequences for your actions and just because the cat's away does not mean I can totally destroy everything because I'm in a "Mood!"  
So I calmed down and say, "Tomorrow, I've got tomorrow."  I'm so going to be on track TOMORROW.  Yeah, well I started singing the tomorrow song...
Anyone else hearing the song from Annie, "Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll love you tomorrow, it's only a day away!"  Ear worm.  There you go.  So helpful, now I have that song stuck in my own head.  Geez, Louise!  Thanks alot, Baker!

Anyway, I had it that tomorrow would be better.
Until I didn't.  I overslept as I could not get to sleep the night before.  (Anyone else have that where their spouse is gone and well, sleeping is not happening?) I chatted on the phone, did nothing, just basically did a me day.  
Now, I have a list a mile long of all the things I wanted to do before my sweet man and sons return home.  Laundry done, rooms cleaned, lists readied for school supplies and such.  I was going to update the calendar of the dates we know are upcoming for the fall.  Spend time with the kids at home.  Maybe go swimming a few times.  I even had hopes of mowing the lawn as that has become our boys' job the last few years, but something I previously enjoyed a great deal.  

Yeah, that did not work out so well, as I took this little ME day.  I finally decided I was either pouting or depressed and missing my man or something.  So again came texts to friends.  Then it dawned on me that I really just was missing Hoss and I so desperately needed to let him know kind of where I was at, not in detail mind you, but just you know a, "Hey, help your girl out, and give me some direction," kind of text.
You didn't really think I would tell him about my plot to do his beloved Bertha in, did you?

So back came the request to do a list.  Give him an idea what I hoped to accomplish.  His response was to do the first task on the list with the threat of cap cream if it was not accomplished within a certain time frame.

Remember I asked for help, right?  Well, that doesn't mean I truly wanted it.  I wanted to still do my own thing and for some reason this request made me more than determined to say, "Nope, I really do not want your help after all."  I did not say this....I just thought it mighty loud and kept doing a whole lot of nothing.  

Task was due at 6.  You know what?  5:30 I sent an email to Amy.  Something was said about me standing on the edge of a cliff, and needing some help before I jumped was said.  
Crickets.  Err!  

Then Lindy popped up on messenger asking if I was over yesterday and being, "A good girl!"  Now, the last thing I want to admit to Lindy is no I was not in a good place.   And I also really wanted to show some self preservation efforts, so I jumped up and got to work.  She also reminded me what Hoss expected me to do what I asked.  The task was not quite complete at five till six and I asked for an extension.  
Crickets.  AGAIN...really is my phone not working here!
I began to wonder if he even remembered assigning the task or had he become so busy....you know my mind started jumping to conclusions.

I worked on.  At 6:15 a text.  Send me a picture of where you are with the project.  In a flash of my phone I sent him the pic.  Self preservation kicked in overtime when I realized I still was not done.  The amazing thing is, his little command for that pic kind of melted my heart and my need to please him, to submit to him.  And when he said it was good, pride welled in me.  I know I smiled huge and completed the rest of the task without a second thought.

Now, this post is getting long.  Sorry, but there is still more to tell.
After that he was gone again for quite awhile as the group he was with tackled a project.  I decided to go all Thelma and Louise.  No, not literally.  I had never seen the movie before so I decided to watch it.  Well, I called Hoss to get the code (never use this one program we have, so he was the one with the code) and when he asked me what I was watching, well, he reminded me to truly not go all Thelma and Louise while he was away.  

Geez, am I that transparent or predictable?  Do you think he knows about my plot against Bertha?
Hoss wanted me to assure him that one of my friends was busy (my bestie).  He then said to make sure Amy knew we were not allowed to actual be Thelma and Louise and go on some wild trip while he was away.  Lol, I had to laugh, like Amy is really going to drive oodles of hours or more to get here, though the thought did occur to me that I could happily load the kids in the van and well.....he shot that idea down pretty quick.....pfft.  Did I say I was feeling rather rogue?

Anyway, a nice evening was had by all.  I had never seen the movie Thelma and Louise, but kind of knew the ends and outs of it, and was pretty hyped after watching it.  The road trip excited me, not the crime spree that they went on (just in case you were wondering.)

Hoss still felt I needed the cap cream.  I have no idea why he would be worried, do you?

I did obey and put on that cap cream before trying to turn into bed.  Why the cap cream you ask?  Because well, I'm sure he did not want be to go getting any hair brain idea to go wild (if he only knew how crazy I'd been acting the night before...)  Also the task he'd requested me to do was not quite finished.  Moving on....
What is it when he is gone?  The kids who have long since learned to sleep in their own beds came tumbling in one by one.  I lay there squished between our two youngest thinking, wow, the cap cream isn't even working.  Maybe I did it wrong.  Oh, well, apparently it doesn't work the same way unless Hoss is the one to put it on.  

I know, I know, I'm naive.  We all know capsicum cream is a type of evil that lies in wait for it's latest victim. 
Midnight rolled around and I finally was able to fall asleep.  Even with all these children's arms and legs wrapped around me or on top of me I was still unsettled and missing my man.  Am I the only one who struggles to rest when their spouse is away?  Surely, not...

So shortly thereafter the cap cream decided to work.  I woke up, laying on my back, and could not untangle the kids to get onto my side.  I was trapped!  I finally was able to gently push one child towards another and get to my left side and fall back asleep. Only to wake up fifteen minutes later on my back again!  So this process proceeded to repeat itself every 15-20 minutes or so in a maddening example of stupidity (seriously my sleeping self should have been smart enough to realize that sleeping on my back was causing my butt to burn), but well, obviously not.  I finally around 2 convinced myself to sleep just to be woken by one of said children trying to vomit on the bed.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! 
I shot out of bed like a rocket and directed said child to the restroom while untangling myself from another child and the blankets.  Puking child did not make it to the restroom.  Why can they not make it to the toilet when I am the only one here?  All I have to say is, "Yuck!".

I tripped my way trying to get to him and trying to avoid the mess!  That adventure over momentarily, I was soothing said child, got him settled back in my bed with the notorious bowl affectionately called, "the vomit bucket."  I called the mommy slumber party off and sent everyone to their respective beds.  I cleaned up the floor and washed my hands trying desperately to rid them of that vomit smell that somehow permeates the nostrils, before climbing back into bed with the sick one.  

After two hours of him sleeping, waking to throw up, and getting him back to bed, rinsing out the bowl, and using my time wide awake, while waiting for the next episode, to send emails to friends.  Sorry to anyone I may have sent an email to that did not make alot of sense.  Sleep deprivation really and truly makes me weirder than normal (I know, it is possible, you can stop laughing now).

I finally felt things were waning.  I climbed back into my side of the bed and closed my eyes to hear, "Mommy, my head hurts, my tummy doesn't feel so well.."  REALLY?  Another one?  (Of course, I know better, but I was already toast.)  My head was not feeling too great either at this point.  

Thankfully this child was not sick to her tummy and after an early morning snack I settled her at the foot of the bed with an ice pack for her head and promptly fell asleep.  Ugh!  How does Hoss do this????  He is the one who is almost exclusively does the middle of the night illnesses.  He is super man, you know?  He is such a good daddy.  So then I was missing him this morning and reminded that the best way to please him is to get busy on the list. 

So here I am, checking the first thing off the list.  Get a post up that hopefully everyone says, wow I am so blessed that's not me today!

Just so you know, kids are both feeling better at the moment and thoroughly enjoying  cartoons on mommy's bed within earshot of me.  Hopefully, no one else has problems tonight.  And my feelings of being in charge are now placed in their proper perspective.  Bertha remains unharmed, I promise!   Maybe next time when the cats away, Baker will know not to play (well not too much anyway!)

Have a great week!