It has taken me what feels like an eternity to finally answer PK's questions. Why? Partially because I've been busy, but mainly because they were thought provoking and downright hard! Thanks, PK, for stretching my brain a lot! I'm glad you asked these questions and happy to answer them to the best of my ability.
Without further ado, here's PK's questions:
Is spanking something you've been interested in all your life? Or did it come to you as a mature adult? Has he ever started this part of your relationship, then just seemed to stop?
But this has me wanting to add another question to my list. You're raising kids, is this lifestyle something you would ever suggest, maybe even recommend to one of your kids? More to your sons? To your daughters? I mean if they ever came to you seeking marital advice, would TTWD come into your answer?
Let's break these questions down a bit. First question, "Is spanking something you've been interested in all your life?" Second question because the two go hand and hand. "Or did it come to you as a mature adult?"
I would say for me, yes, probably. I'm not exactly sure how to answer this because it was something that just sort of fascinated me when I was younger. I remember rereading children's stories that had spanking in them. I had no idea why though. Maybe because I was a good kid and rarely was spanked. It was not my parents' go to option. A cross look or word usually did the trick for me as I hated for them to be disappointed in me. But spanking was something that took away my guilt when it happened and I definitely still associate those feelings of retribution for a wrong being righted today.
When I got older, college age and older, I did not really give it much thought. I was a busy young wife and mom and the last thing I had time for were stories about spanking. It wasn't until Hoss introduced me to Fan Fiction that I even thought about spanking in those terms again.
Never even thought about it. My mom was one of those that took spare the rod spoil the child to heart. I knew I didn't want to be like that to my kids. It wasn't until Baker and I were having some fun one night and I popped her on the bottom a couple of times during our fun time. The look that came over her face. I could definitely tell a light bulb had just gone on. But let me back up and say that Baker and I didn't date. I courted her. Dating for the purpose of marriage. Not dating to be dating.
PK's next question, "Has he ever started this part of your relationship then just seem to stop?"
I think I will let Hoss tackle this question. But my two cents is that we stop and start alot. Well, at least since I got sick. Before then, I feel like consistency was less of an issue.
Dude, it starts and stops all the time. I will say that I felt like I got my voice back in our marriage when we started down this path. I want to be more consistent but it is definitely harder when I am only around her in the early morning and late evening. Plus we have 7 kids and moved one of them right out side our bedroom door. So that plays into it as well. Since Baker has been sick it has been touch and go. The normal time we did it was early morning as a reset for her day. Which she seemed to enjoy. but after Baker got sick we have noticed a brain fog we call it some mornings when she wakes up or she will get these intense head aches if she gets jostled to much. I do not want to do that to her and then leave for the day. we have tried several different approaches but I still think time is going to have to play a role in her healing
PK also asks, "Is this lifestyle something you'd ever suggest, maybe recommend to one of your kids? More to your sons? To your daughters? I mean if they ever came to you seeking marital advise, would TTWD come into your answer?
I could go either way on this because it would depend on which kid and his/her spouse. I know that it would be easier if our kid came to us and said, "Hey, have you ever heard of DD or CDD, what do you know or think about it?" Rather than me seeing an issue and saying, "Hey, why don't you consider..." So, that's kind of my thoughts right now anyways. We may need to revisit this one in a few more years as our kids get older.
I don't know I would have to give that some thought. I don't think I would approach it unless I knew the couple and the relationship very well. I know this works for us. but I don't want to force my beliefs on anyone. I don't want to be the cause of problems in any of my children's marriages.
Okay, that took like almost two full months to answer and for that I'm truly sorry. PK, we appreciate your patience! Thanks, for letting us get to these as we could. I do hope to be back to posting more regularly soon.
--Hoss and Baker