Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Alexa, Stay Out Of THIS!

I recently purchased Hoss a fun new gift.  I was promised by two friends that he would love it!  I am not a techie, gadgety sort of girl at all, so I just took a leap of faith here, people, that my man would love it.  Hoss did love the gift of an amazon echo by the lovely little name of Alexa.
....wait...what...some of you do not know what an Alexa is?  Well, let me inform you.  Alexa is a little computer doohickey that is determined to prove she knows everything!  Weather?  she's got you covered.  News?  she knows exactly what is going on where and even knows my husband's preferences on where he hears his news.  Sports?  she knows exactly who beat who in the preseason as well as who's up for draft, who's been injured, etc.  you name it, she knows it.  In other words she's a busy-body-know-it-all who likes to meddle in things.

Which leads me to my post.  She knows songs.  Did you know Alexa will sing to you or play you her favorite songs?  Do you know that the day Aretha Franklin passed away that Alexa's favorite song that day was RESPECT.  Yeah, she also knows how to play 80s music like nobody's business.
Need a little early morning spanking music...she's got you covered...well, in this case Hoss covered.  It's just her choice of music that has me wondering if she's got some sort of Supergirl perception on what Hoss needs and when.
Now, now, now, you all think Baker is overreacting, don't you?  Well, for once you, folks, are wrong.  DEAD WRONG!

I am not overreacting! Last week we were up early getting ready to have a little bit of spanking action.  I was in a teeny tiny bit of trouble (STOP LAUGHING!  teeny tiny bits of trouble do happen around here)....anyway...Hoss had me over the bed and as it was creeping close to the time a few kiddos may have been waking up he said, "Alexa, play 80s music."  Alexa pops on and starts playing this song.  It starts slow, but literally one of the first lines in the song was about hitting your mark.   Seriously, Alexa, the man has NO PROBLEM hitting his mark!  He's actually extremely good at it...regardless if I want him to be or not.  You'd think he'd occasionally miss and hit the bed once in a while, nope, not him.  UGH!
So we heard the hit the mark and both dissolved into giggles thinking Alexa had really picked a good one for that one.  Haha, Alexa!  right? Maybe....

The next day we are getting ready for a little reset type of spanking and well, Hoss repeats the phrase, "Alexa, play 80s music."  Well, you know what that She-Devil decides to play?

Nah, not going to tell you....too embarrassing....
Wait...I got distracted...that's what this post is about.

You really do want to hear what she did to me, don't you?

Geez, nosy bunch of people!

She decides to play Pat Benatar's, "Hit me with your best shot!"
Now, I"m sorry....that's just not funny.  I tell you she's got this thing about reading my man's mind!  Wait....maybe he's pre-programmed her to respond that way?  Wait?  Can he do that?  I have no idea...remember...I'm not tech savvy at all.  Can he do that?  I'll have to ask.

Because I'm almost certain after today's spanking Alexa either has it in for me or Hoss is being very clever!  Today Hoss says, "Alexa, play 80s music."  Things were moving along rather nicely.
That did not mean Alexa had to play Billy Joel's, "We Didn't Start the Fire."  No, thank you very much!  Hoss did a fine job without her input!

--Baker


21 comments:

  1. Oh Good Lord! LOL!!! Hit me with your best shot? ;-)
    Mignon

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    1. Hi, Mignon,
      Yeah, I know, that's exactly what I thought!
      --Baker

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  2. Oh this is just too funny. Alexa is obviously on Hoss's side and trying to encourage him. This post had me laughing all the way through. Maybe you need to have a chat with Alexa to encourage her to be nicer to you before she plays the song Set my world on fire. LOL!
    Hugs Lindy

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    1. Miss Lindy,
      Alexa sure does seem to agree with Hoss right now! I tried chatting with her, no such luck!
      --Baker

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  3. Oh this is funny! And we just set up another Alexa.... I was scared she’d be able to access my spank literature!
    Now I’m even MORE worried!

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    1. Minelle,
      Be afraid of her, be very afraid! LOL!
      --Baker

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  4. This is hysterical! You couldn't have hand picked a better playlist. What does Alexa say if Hoss asks, "Why does Baker need a spanking?" And if he requested spanking tunes, what would she play then? So many questions! I need answers before I decide whether I want to grant Eric his own Alexa.:) Fun post!
    Amy

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    1. Hey, Amy,
      I'm telling you girl, don't do it! Just do yourself a favor...leave Alexa out of the spankings!

      --Baker

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  5. I love it! Now you know the next one is going to be "Hurts so good." Enjoy...

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    1. Hoss thought your suggestion was incredibly funny! lol! Thanks, PK, but I will be honest, he doesn't need encouragement and neither does Alexa! LOL!
      --Baker

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  6. OH my goodness! That is waaaaay too funny!!! Glad we don't have Alexa in our house. :P
    Hugs, EsMay

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    1. At this point, I'd be happy to send you ours, but I'm pretty sure Hoss would not let her go...he loves her sense of humor if nothing else.

      --Baker

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  7. Hi Baker, so great to see you post :) This is just too damn funny. As I said to Fondles recently, Alexa needs a kick up the ass lol. I was waiting for Hit Me With Your Best Shot LoL.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Roz, I am in complete agreement! I'm glad everyone else is laughing...I am seriously not sure I am! Thankfully, she behaved herself this morning and only provided a nice "Beat" for Hoss to use!
      --Baker

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  8. I wonder if she "remembers" his previous choices? like if he has ASKED her to play certain songs before, then she uses some sort of algorithm to pick similar titles? fire / hit / mark / shot .. I would be suspicious. Very very suspicious!

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    1. Hi, Fondles,
      I don't think so. He really only listens to the Piano Guys or Christian contemporary or the news on Alexa. Other than that it's whatever songs or jokes the kids ask her. Alexa normally leads a rather sad like here, maybe this is her way to spice things up!
      --Baker

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  9. Oh gosh! Thanks for the laugh! I needed that this morning!

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    1. Hi, Boo,
      I'm happy we made you laugh! That's an excellent way to start your day!
      --Baker

      Delete
  10. Ha! ... funny post, Baker ... good to hear from you again. You might want to try covering her 'ears' during spanky times. Sounds like she's got you both figured out :))) ... nj ... xx

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  11. Fun post, Baker, Alexa seems to have got you taped!
    Rosie xx

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  12. perfect song choices...too funny :-) Hugs

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