Saturday, June 16, 2018
Team I Vs. Team We
This is a typical discussion scenario we would have had pre-DD.
Hoss: “We need to get the kids ready to go, we’re going to be late if we don’t get a move on.”
Baker: “Yeah, I’ll go get them ready.”
Hoss: “What can I do to help?”
Baker: “I don’t know. I’ll do it.”
Hoss: “I can help.”
Baker: “Fine (said in a disgruntled voice)...I’ll send Kid X down with the clothes, you can get the little ones dressed.”
Fast forward half an hour and kids are dressed and we are ready to go.
Hoss: “I’m going to go start the car. Anything else we need to do before we leave?”
Baker: “No, I got it.”
I, all by my little lonesome, would then spend the next ten minutes checking the diaper bag, shutting bedroom doors, turning off lights, fixing a snack to take, etc. Note he only would say I when referring to a direct thing he alone could do. Not so with me. I was always the one always trying to be the martyr following on her sword to be the one to do EVERYTHING.
So I excluded him. I treated him like he was incapable on many, many things. I say this, even though it embarrasses me greatly to admit that I treated my sweet man so poorly. I say this because it’s so much better now. There is very little of this “I” team, it’s a whole lot more of Team We.
The reason I even bring this up is because I was away from my family for a conference for four days. I had gone with my bestie and another friend we both know. I did not know the other friend all that well, and she reminded me so much of my former self it was amazing. She belittled her husband while on the phone while we were in the room, referred to him as another one of her kids, expressed many negative things about him. Very rarely did we hear her say anything that positive about him.