A Few Simple Words

So last Wednesday was a really rough day for me.  Like super rough.  I did not like myself at all.  We are down to one car right now, so I am driving Hoss into work each day.  This should not be that big a deal and it really is not, but the mornings have been busier than usual because of it.  I was already feeling behind even though we really were not.  I also wanted to chat with a few friends and just be without all the pressures of the world.  Anyways, enough rambling, let me just tell you the story.

I went to make Hoss a quick breakfast and get his lunch made while he took a shower.  No real issue there.  I go to pull the coffee pot out, and realize the kids had left the instapot out from the night before.  In my haste, to get the coffee going, I moved the instapot onto the stove top.  I went about rushing around making breakfast and lunch for my sweet man, but every once in a while I would smell something burning.  I went over several times to check on the coffee and then the burner that had held the eggs.  Nothing.  Nada.  All good.  Finally as I go to look for a coffee cup I see a small bit of steam?  Smoke perhaps?  I stand there looking at our burners trying to figure out if I'd inadvertently spilled something on the burner.  Nope.  Then I look down and the light for one of my rear burners is on.  What?  I quickly realized when I had scooted the instapot over I had also turned the dial on the back burner.  My instapot was melting like the witch from the Wizard of Oz!  I moved it quickly and began to clean up the mess.

As I'm doing the clean up of the stinky sticky plastic mess fear creeps over me like a blanket I could not pull off.  Hoss and I were minutes from leaving our home to take him to work.  Round trip could be 40-45 minutes long.   All of our children and our house guest and her kiddos were sound asleep.  What would have happened had I not realized the blunder I had made.

With a heavy heart I went to tell Hoss what had happened.  His response was surprise, concern, and worry, but he said, "I'm glad you caught it.  It's going to be okay.  Accidents happen."  His words did nothing to dispel my sad heart.  Thinking of all our children and our guests at home while the fire smoldered just made me sick to my stomach.  It hurt my heart in a way I cannot describe.

As the day wore on I kept explaining to Hoss my feelings.  How it really was bothering me.  He kept saying he understood and yes, things could have turned out different, but they did not.  It did little to ease my concerns.  I was aching inside of the "could of, would of, should ofs," that assaulted my brain.  The few blog friends I shared with were all reassuring.  No one thought I deserved to be spanked and from what I could tell from Hoss, he did not plan to, but it did nothing to improve my mood.

That evening, after a long day of beating myself up, Hoss said we needed to talk.  I was for sure he had decided to spank me.  At the very least, to ease my guilt that was overflowing everywhere.  He did not.  He told me something that mended my hurting heart.  That truly expressed to me what he truly thought.

"Baker, you are beating yourself up, but the thing is.  You're the hero in this situation."

"Wait, what????"  Was this man insane?  I almost burned the house down while the kids were sleeping.  What was he thinking.

"You're the hero," he repeated.  "You kept checking until you figured out the problem.  Had you not been insistent things would have turned out so much differently.  I'm thankful you did that."

Now, I was melting like a Popsicle on a hot summer's day.  He knew that I needed to hear that.  He knew it would be better than a spanking to hear that he did not see me as all those horrible things I kept telling myself.   That he still loved me in spite of what I believed about myself.

In that moment, everything was cleared for me.  My man loved me.  That he was proud of me.  And I'm so thankful for him.  In the real world things happen.  I'm just grateful he was able to help me refocus in his gentle, sweet way.  I'm so blessed.

--Baker

Calling All Readers! Have I Got a Book For You!

As the lazy and hot days of summer draw quickly to an end, my need for comfortable things starts rearing it's head.  Comfortable things that beckon me to focus on them are warm soups and pumpkin pie and hoodies and soccer pants.  I'm not a coffee drinker, but our oldest kids start asking for pumpkin spiced lattes and the younger ones beg for hot chocolate like a friend they have not seen in months. 

Another thing that makes me yearn even more for fall is curling up on a Sunday afternoon and reading a really good book.  Well, even though it is not quite autumn I spent the last few days curling up with a really good book, actually two really good books, by an author I recently became reacquainted with.  Her name is Paige Parsons, and she writes mild DD centered romances.
I am not the book report extraordinaire writer that Miss Ella is, but I will do my best to persuade each of you to look Ms. Parsons' books up on Amazon or where ever it is you find your books to read.

The first of the two books is entitled, The Daddy Arrangement.  The book begins with the main character, Keila, heading off to college and freeing herself from the matriarchs of her family.  She sets out to find herself, and ends up finding out college life and being on her own is harder than it seems.  Keila, then runs into her RA (resident assistant) Brianna, and there the story takes on a life of its own.  Through Brianna, Keila's life makes some definite changes when she meets Jack.  Jack is everything Keila could ever want in a man, but can the 20 something age difference be something she can overlook, and better yet, can he?  I am going to leave it there and remind everyone that there is a second book that follows Jack and Keila's romance, The Girl In Apartment 1203, but you have to read the first one to appreciate the second!

Truly, I enjoyed reading both books, but I'm trying hard not to spoil any part of the story line.  Just know that both books contain mild DD and some sexual references.  Paige describes her style as, "A more layered character development vs. spanking after spanking and sex scene after sex scene."  Her characters are just as she described, multi layered and faceted, genuine and determined.  The first book was so well written that I had a hard time putting it down.  Well, that was until Hoss, told me I had better if I knew what was good for me!  Just teasing, but it was truly an excellent book that I will read again and again like an old friend.  You can also keep up with Paige at  http://www.authorpparsons.com/. 

So, get that cuppa (as our Aussie friends say) and curl up with Paige Parsons' newest books.  I promise, you will be thankful for the "me time" and enjoy a new author to begin the new season!

--Baker

To Gold Bond or To Not Gold Bond...That Is My Question!

Hoss and I have been trying for two months to figure out something quiet to use for regular correction of yours truly.   (For some reason the man does not see me for the angel I truly am, but that's another post entirely!)  We have a few quiet implements and we have quite a few loud ones as well.  And our home, as you all can imagine, is rarely, if ever, empty of everyone at a given time.  

Well, by chance, today, Hoss may have came up with an absolutely powerful new tool to help yours truly in a way that may be insane to most of you...but desperate times, well as the saying goes, calls for desperate measures.  Let me lay the story out for you as it unfolded and feel free to cry in sympathy (or laugh hysterically) depending on your point of view.

About two weeks ago I purchased myself a lovely new bra.  Now, I am rather particular when it comes to my lingerie, but I know many of you who are as well, so you will truly appreciate my bra dilemma.  I tried it on and loved it right away and was thankful for my new purchase until the weather became my foe.  It had been hot and humid, but truly not that hot and humid most of our summer, until last week.  I noticed my new bra chaffing slightly, so went back to another bra.  Now, yesterday I thought, oh, let me try the new bra again.  Well, as you can imagine the chaffing occurred towards the evening, but no problem...shed that thing later in the afternoon as I had no where to go.   Unfortunately, overnight as I was sleeping I must have rubbed at the spot underneath, "my ladies" and ended up with two red marks.  Ugh!

This is where it gets good folks!

Hoss is a fan of, "the ladies" and I commented this morning that I was still having trouble from the rubbing and I felt it was worse, so he rather willingly checked the problem out.  

"Ah," he said in his manly wisdom, "you need some gold bond to fix that right up."  

"Oh, okay," I said, fully trusting and eager for relief.

STOP LAUGHING....I had no idea what was in store for me!

Hoss pulled out the spray bottle of gold bond that he uses for occasional manly uses and said, "Pull them up!" 

I tried to adjust without making the ladies hurt too badly...oh if I had only known what I was in store for...

(if only I had looked that cute)

The first spray under my left breast gave immediate relief and than by the time he'd moved on to the right one a fire lit under my left breast making me gasp, squeal and dance all at the same time.

"Hold still, I'm not done yet!"  WHAT????  As I pranced and danced and did little circles worst than my best ever spanking dance trying desperately to figure out how to put the fire out....

Now everyone knows my sweet man is usually as helpful as can be, but today...do you know what he did today?  He laughed....a long hilarious going to bust a gut laugh...at me.

Apparently, I know how to put on quite the show.  I'm sure every man out there who has ever used gold bond knows this dance, but I had rarely understood or could appreciate his grimaces as I did today.  So what happened tonight that makes me write you?  

Well, Hoss, decided I needed a second dose of that fire from H-E-double hockey sticks in order for me to "heal properly."  You know what I think, as I danced around and squealed to beat the band?  I think he liked the show.  And apparently...he believes...it was the best correction I have had in a long while and he did not even have to break a sweat.

The big meanie!  Just teasing!  LOL!  Hope you all enjoyed the giggle at my expense!  It's okay to admit it...I thought it was pretty funny too...after, "my ladies, " cooled down!

--Baker

stoppin' in for a quick, "Hello!"

Sorry to everyone that I have not been around lately.  Things are extremely busy.  

I just really wanted to stop in and say, "Hello," to you all.  

DD is hard when you have extra people living in your home.  It's hard to have those special times, spanking times, loving times, any time at all.  

I would love to stop by more often, and I will try to make a concerted effort to make that happen.  We shall see...

I hope you are all doing well.  

And for the friends out there that have been kind in checking up on me.  Thank you!  You do not realize how important it is to have so many around here who have expressed such kindness.  I am grateful for your friendships.  

And if I owe you an email...my apologies.  I am trying to manage my time better.  

And if any of you who are out there are the praying sort, pray that I can learn to hold my tongue with Hoss.  

I'm really struggling with that lately.  

The old me...who I thought was buried deep or had evaporated all together, seems to be trying to creep her ugly head in.  That part of me, I do not enjoy seeing.  I want to see that nasty temper and bad attitude gone...vanished.   

Anyway, that's about all I can share right now.  Thanks for being my sounding board.

--Baker

Change

Well, things are a changin'.  At least around here.  We are always a family on the go with different activities going on and such, but this new change is rather quick and unexpected.  Hoss and I have always been open to doing what we feel called to do by God, but this new change has been an interesting one, to say the least.  

A few weeks ago we received a call from a young woman asking for some help.  We took that situation head on and our home is brimming now with a few extra people.  What a blessing...what an opportunity....what a bit of craziness....what else can we say?  

I have shared with a few of our blog friends in emails or what have you, that we were having these changes.  Many have prayed for us.  Some have worried for us.  All have been really encouraging and willing to show such love and compassion and patience with us.  I am again reminded at how special this community can be.  

I have had many of these friends encourage us to continue to find time for ourselves, for DD, for making memories.  We are trying.  It is harder now with a teenager in the room over from us, who wondered what that tapping noise was....(loopy is apparently NOT as quiet as we think, but thankfully I was!)  Next time, 80s music with a steady beat in the background. 

So new schedules to work out for when we can keep our dynamic protected and safe.  Thankfully, Hoss is a wonderful husband, father and friend.  He is working hard to keep us all on track.  Gentle reminders.  Quiet words.  Giving me a chance to blog today, alone.  I can not say how much our hearts swell with pure love at how well our children are coping.  How well they are helping.  Yes, they are not perfect.  There are disagreements and moments of frustration, but overall things are going smoothly.  God is good.  DD is our touch point and I consider myself to be one blessed lady.

Hope everything is going well with everyone else.  I may or may not be here for a few weeks as I have alot on my plate, but know I am thinking of everyone and praying, "it's all good!"  Sending lots of hugs and thank yous for all your kind encouraging words!

--Baker 

Happy Mother's Day

To all of you wonderful ladies out there!  Hoss and I like to wish you all a beautiful and Happy Mother's Day with lots of love from us!  It's hard being a mom through all of the stages, but remember, you got this girl! 

 Much love,

--Hoss and Baker

A Little Bit of Cleansing

Well, look at me.  Blogging again already.  What has got into the air lately around here?  Aside from the wonderful seasonal allergies that is....  

Hoss and I are getting along quite fine and we are slowing down for a few weeks before things pick up with all of the kids' summer activities.  There has been some stress around here.  I know, I know, hard to believe, right?  Hoss has been doing his best part to keep me on the straight and narrow.  Well, as best as he possibly can, as I do not do well under a ton of stress.  Okay, you got me.  I tend to totally freak out when things become overwhelming.  The sad part is the kids and Hoss tend to get and hear most of that stress as is pours out of my mouth at them.  

I've been praying about how to stop this behavior and we have tried some options including me taking a time out when I get frustrated, lots of deep breathing and there have been spankings when Hoss hears me truly get out of control.  It's not something I am at all proud of, but sometimes I let the stress build up and bad things happen.  

So the other day I asked for a cleansing spanking, a reset of sorts.  It was an idea of sorts that I felt would help.  Basically the idea was to assign an implement to each child and the number of swats would be the child's age.  Hoss would then spank using that implement and I focused on how my relationship with that particular child could be helped or improved.  

Now, I'm not saying this was an easy spanking by any means.  It was not easy to take at all. Hoss' favorites came out to discipline and I had a few choices as well.  Loopy was last as it was the worst and Hoss' belt was the first as I was given the option to organize them from the one I disliked the least to the worst.  

This spanking left a good impression on my backside, but it impacted my heart far more.  I was able to forgive myself and work towards better options for handling my stress.  It made me feel cleansed.  That made be hard for others to understand, but it set things to right again.  I appreciated that he heard my need to rid myself of the guilt and move on.  To use spanking to heal my heart.   I have also asked a few kids for forgiveness and asked them to help remind me when I sound too harsh.  They had no idea why I had requested it, but kids are gracious and forgive easily.  I am grateful for that.  

I think some might find this harsh, but remember this is something I came up with as I knew it would be similar to a reset and would basically reset my mind/heart.  It did just that and I am really feeling far more content.  By forgiving myself and moving past that I can be the mom and wife that I want to be.  I also like knowing that I get another chance each day to improve me.

Thanks for listening!

--Baker