Answering A Question....

At the beginning of March I asked my readers what kind of questions they may have for Hoss and me.  We are finally back in town, settled back in, and finally (I Feel) back to a semi-normal schedule/routine of life.  So I am tackling Morningstar's Question first and hopefully I will get to PK and Roz's questions as well this week.  Please bear with me as March has been extremely busy and getting time to post has been significantly hard.  

So Morningstar's question is listed below:

I have a couple of questions for you :) (forgive me if you have already answered it a million times - I'm pleading moving brain - can't remember anything!!)

How did you both decide to do TTWD - specifically TH? AND in what ways has it improved your relationship/marriage? Is it possible that your relationship would have improved regardless of TH - just a natural evolving ???

Our Answers:

Let's get comfortable, shall we?  It's a bit of a story.  I had no idea TTWD was even a thing until I read fanfiction.  I know, crazy, right?  I mean what rock had we been hiding under.  I was shocked when in the story I was reading the man turned his wife over his knee for a little discipline.  It just felt so right to me.  Like a novel concept that I was some how missing.  Was this how marriage should look?  It took months for me to begin discussing it with Hoss.  I had to mull that concept around for quite a bit.  I knew it had been taught in our church that a man was head of the home, but in reality our home was not that way.  I was so relieved that Hoss didn't think I was insane for wanting to change the dynamic to him in charge AND add spanking into our lives.  We did a bit of sexy spanking at first and sometime around (I'm not for certain) our anniversary a few months later I'd asked him to discipline me for things I was struggling with at the time.   The rest shall we say is history.

So I will be honest, I think we were at a point in our relationship we had grown apart to some degree.  I wouldn't say our marriage was falling apart as much as we were struggling to find time or ways to connect with such a busy household.  I was running the show and hating it.  Our communication with one another was broken down.  So to say that TTWD definitely was and still is a tool we use in our marriage to stay balanced, is an understatement.  

Hoss definitely feels best when he in the HOH mode.  I am calmer and happier as well when I feel him in charge.  I do like to challenged things.  I would have thought after all these years I would no longer feel the need to challenge things, but I do.  I really think if we had began our marriage with TTWD we would have had less challenges. Things always go smoother when I back up and obey or submit.  The peace in our home is almost something I can reach out and touch at that point.

Hoss' answer: "At that point in our marriage I had really felt like I had lost my voice in the decisions we made. I would suggest stuff just to have it fall on deaf ears and the fact that we would finally do it the way I suggested in the first place it worked out.  I feel I got my voice back in the marriage and it also helped me to want to contribute more as I knew my voice would be heard."  (It is so hard for me to hear his words, because I know what he says to be true.)

Would we have become closer had we not done TTWD?  Hmmm....I believe probably not until all the kids had grown up and left.  We found something that works 14 years into our marriage.  It definitely is a tool we use regularly.  It suits us so to speak.  Even if Bertha and Hoss' other friends (implements) are a little too talkative some days.

I hope that answers Morningstar's question.  If I confused anyone feel free to ask for clarification.  Communication is key!

That wasn't near as long as I thought.  Refill that cup of whatever you're drinking and go visit some of our friends in blogland.  And comment, it makes our day when someone says hi!

--Baker

You All Remember, Bertha?

We are back from vacation.  Before we left our technology issues are finally in check.  New router thingy has been installed.  I have spent the last several trying to catch up on computer stuff and just general household stuff.  I am thankful that the router thingy was our only issue.  So I am back ready to do a couple of posts for you prior to us leaving on vacation.  My goal is to write a few posts that you can read while we are away, but please do not hold me to that.  Life is a bit too unpredictable right now for me to make any promises.

So Hoss and I spent some time talking the other morning.  He and I discussed how things had been lacking a bit, what with the busyness of life and all.  So back to early morning maintenance.  Do you hear the excitement in my voice, folks?  Really, I knew we needed this.  The consistency.  The connection time.  That is not sarcasm either.  I was fine with it.  Up until Hoss mentioned Bertha and I wanted to make a beeline for the nearest exit.  I'd have made a run for it, but I don't believe in running unless something is chasing me, so there's that!

Actually, Hoss is just a smart man.  He knows what I need and when, most of the time, before I do.  So Bertha came out.  For those of you who are unaware who or rather what Bertha is let me explain.  Bertha is a wood bath brush.  So bigger than a wooden hair brush.  More vicious.  A bit more of the swing-ability  factor.  But alas, Hoss and Bertha are great friends.  I, on the other hand, believe she's my second greatest nemesis second only to Loopy (we won't even go there, but her name is very accurate).  The thing with Bertha is, I'm sad to admit this, she works.  Like the release I get with Bertha, I do not get with other implements.  Trust me, we've tried many lighter, easier, gentler implements.  We've tried a few harder implements like a cheese board.  Nothing works like Bertha.

So Bertha was applied.  Hoss made his point.  And for now the daily maintenance will resume until Hoss decides otherwise.  So I am thankful that my sweet Hoss loves me enough to always meet my needs and help keep me even keeled.  But I'm also looking for someone willing to take Bertha out to a "brush" pile somewhere....any takers?

--Baker

A Vacationing We Will Go!

Sorry about not posting yesterday.  We are packing.  We are finally going to get a vacation in since Covid and me getting sick.  I am mostly better which is so nice to say.  We have a really fun time planned for us and the kids.  I was not organized enough to have posts set to go up while we are gone, so just plan on seeing us back together with you on Monday the 21st!  Until then, be good.  We'll miss you!  And if you would like to ask questions for March I plan to answer those in a few posts when I get back.

--Baker

Questions, Anyone?

I know that many of you, if not all, have questions about TTWD.  I know I did when I first began being a taken in hand wife I wanted to know about the bloggers that I read.  I wanted to know how and why they wanted to be a TIH wife.  I wanted to know who they were in real life.  Not names necessarily, but the type of women that wanted this.  Those that their husbands choose this for their marriage, how did they feel about this new and sometimes exciting aspect of their marriage?  I just wanted to know, you know?  

Traditionally, as in the past, March was held as a Q & A month here in blogland.  I would love it if our readers, our blogging friends too, could take the time to ask Hoss and I a few questions.  So lay them on us!  You can ask one question or multiple.  It's really up to you.  If I feel I cannot answer the question, I'll let you know why.  So here's your opportunity, think of some good ones.  

Otherwise enjoy your Thursday!  Have a blessed day!

--Baker

Techy Issues

I'm so sorry I've been MIA.  Best laid intentions do not always line up with our real world life getting in the way.  A week ago today our WIFI router thingy went caput.  I wish I understood why it died like it did, but alias I really don't care.  It's just frustrating me to not have regular internet access.  We should be back up and running by Friday or Saturday at the latest.  I apologize for not fixing it sooner, but hey, we're really enjoying the lack of technology over here (snort).  Okay, I am.  The kids, not so much.  So I will be back as soon as a new router is purchased and until then BEHAVE!  BE GOOD!  and really folks, get off your phones and enjoy life!

--Baker

My 150th Post

Oh, my word, folks, can you believe I finally...after all these years... achieved 150 posts?  I have attempted to get there for over five years and we're finally there.  Thank you all for reading.  I appreciate the friendships that have evolved from this little piece of blogland.  I appreciate the support and kind comments.  Let's try for more posts, shall we?   You keep reading and I will do my best to keep writing.  Thanks!

--Baker

Learning This Lifestyle With Grace

When Hoss and I began this whole spanking lifestyle I did my best to research all I could.  I was scared, excited, intrigued, fascinated and so much more.  Seriously, a myriad of emotions and thoughts swirled through my head as we looked forward to this next new phase and tool in our relationship. 

I asked a lot of questions of other bloggers and read and read and read.  I found a few that were willing to take me under their wings and share and encourage.  Some were amazing and we are still friends today.  Others were good for a time, but have fallen away due to lack of similar backgrounds or interests.  It's all good.  I learned from all that I came into contact with and appreciated everyone who took the time to email me and share their history.  

Now, it's my turn.  Mid-December, Aron, from https://spankingyourwife.wordpress.com/blog-2/, referred a young wife named, Grace, to me.  We have been communicating for about six weeks.  It's been the reason I began blogging again.   Grace is a fairly new wife (married about a year and a half) who just recently (approximately two months ago) became a TIH.  So Grace brought me back here to the land because she needed something that many veteran TIH wives were to me.  A teacher, a mentor and most importantly a friend.  

Grace has taught me a few really important things and reminded me of other things that I had forgotten.   Important things like:

1. Learning to submit is hard.  

2. Learning to let all those walls down is hard.

3. Allowing your husband to lead and to completely trust him is hard.

4. Understanding that it's okay to cry it out is hard.

5. Knowing you will be confused and hurt one minute and putty in his hand is hard.

6. Figuring out that you will sometimes, if not always, desire intimacy afterwards is hard.

7. That everyone and I mean everyone does this differently is hard. (Partly because we all wish there was some sort of formula involved to show us, and our HOH, how this is done!)

So, with Grace's permission, I will share a few of her thoughts with me that I found particularly poignant to me.  

This statement was in regards to her struggles with how a discussion with her husband made her feel.

"Probably a mix of feeling respected and feeling humbled and annoyed I need to be humbled."

I think all of us can relate to the feeling the need to be humbled and annoyed that we are being humbled because I know it,' something I occasionally still struggle with.  I'm an adult and being reminded to obey or submit is hard to work through.

When Grace and I were discussing aspects of why we are disciplined this was another keen observation that struck me as something that I still find hard to work through even today (especially if I'm in a particularly stubborn mood.).

"I don't struggle with sass a lot but I certainly felt like it today!  I'm still in the choose to not hold grudging stage.  So it was tempting."

Now, we all know I'm not suggesting that I do not struggle with sass, but I do struggle with the whether or not to hold a grudge.  It can be so tempting.  That's the part that was hard for me to accept in the early years, but I definitely feel that is something that comes along as we grow in our relationships.

Finally, another goody is this comment Grace made to me after reading my post on entitled Obey, "I also liked your blog post about obey.  For me it's not so much a word as it is when my husband tell me I need to say yes sir loud enough so he can hear me clearly.  It's gotten better a pretty serious 'talk'.  I think it probably just brings up everything that wasn't dealt with when I was a teenager.  Because I feel like every teenager when he says that.  My poor husband!"

I will say our men can be extremely patient with us, can they not?  I mean how often do we need to say, "Yes, Sir," and mean it or not just whisper it or whatever it is he requires.  Oh, there are times it takes me back to being not just a teenager, but a little girl and feeling all big and grown up until the hammer falls and my butt was roasted.  

I feel Grace and I are hitting it off well.  She is teaching me as well as I am teaching her.  I think we are learning from one another as we both grow in our relationships with our husbands as well as one another.  I really encourage those of you out there who do not have a mentor or a TIH friend to confide in, that you get one.  I'm available too if you need an ear to listen to or a shoulder to cry on.  

I love that I have had and still have ladies who mentor me and really build me up as I walk this lifestyle with my Hoss.  I always gain so much insight when I pick their brains.  I am hoping I am doing as well for Grace as those precious ladies have done for me.  

--Baker