Indirect and a Little Confusing

Here I sit.  Quietly.  The house is quiet too.  Hoss took the kids...all the kids, out for the evening.  Shopping.  Well, it's literally been months since I have had an evening alone.  To tell the truth I truly have no idea when the last time this event actually occurred when I was not sick.  

So, right before he left I was telling my sweet man that I had not blogged in almost two months.  Maybe, just maybe, tonight I would try to write something.  Anything.  It would not be profound or all together interesting.  Everyone knows we are busy raising a large family, incorporating DD into our daily lives, and just basically doing the very best we can.  Those blogging friends who have inquired know that life sucked us up in a hole lately.  That if I send an email, I am doing well.  No true worries here, just so busy.  Life happening so quickly.  I want to spend and cherish these moments and yet they seem to flirt by me and are lost into the next thing of my day.  

As I was writing this I did think of a few thoughts and things that have happened that I do want to share...things I have appreciated or have had deep gratitude towards.

I did want to say that Hoss and I recently celebrated our anniversary.  The marriage one and the DD one go hand in hand.  Three years of DD has literally changed our lives.  How we view one another.  How we process things.  How we "do" life.   He is most definitely the love of my life, the first person I see in the morning and the last one I lay eyes on at night.  He said recently that I, yes I, "complete him."  I am more in love each day with my sweet, giving man.  Thank you, Hoss for so many rich years growing older together.

I am feeling slightly melancholy tonight, can you tell?  We have learned and gained so much in the last few years, that I wish, I so wish, we had started this sooner.  It would have saved us so much grief and heartache, but maybe it was just meant to be that way.  To be honest, I'm okay with that.

I hope everyone is doing well.  I did try to get around to as many blogs as I could tonight and read.  To soak up on all of your knowledge, words of wisdom and kindness, encouragement to those around you.  I think it's simply beautiful how this community is here encouraging one another.  Loving on one another.  Being there for one another.  Thank you to the ladies who have cared.  Who have reached out.  Who have encouraged us from the very beginning and through the past three years.  We have made priceless friendships.  Each one unique and giving in it's own way.  When I began blogging one of my main reasons was to make friends, to have friendships.  I needed support to understand and learn from others.  Many, many of you have been there for us.  Thank you.  Each and everyone that has written a comment, dropped an email, even just one.  I'm thankful.  I have gleaned so much from each of you. 

I feel like naming each kindness shown, but that would take forever and a day and no one would want to read all of that mushy stuff anyway.  I just want to say thank you.  Whether you read here and have never commented, stopped by and always say, "Hi," often, or to those who have become some of my best friends I could ever ask for.  You are appreciated, you are loved and you are treasured by me.

Now, taking off the melancholy.  Hope to be around more that school is getting close to being done.  I do have many ideas and thoughts to share.  Just hang in there, folks, I'm trying to get back here.  Just working on the when.

Love,
Baker

Update on Lindy Lou

Our sweet Lindy has not been around much lately.  Her aches and pains in her wrist and hand have been unbearable.  Writing or typing has been no fun.  But have no fear!  Lindy is feeling better.  She had surgery yesterday morning and all went well.  Our Lindy Lou is on the road to recovery.  

Join with me to send our favorite down under blogger a get well soon!  Lindy gave me the go ahead to let everyone else know that she is doing better, surgery is complete and it will be at least another six to eight weeks before she can catch up with us all here.  So send her some love, people!

She can be reached at lindylouthomas1979@gmail.com.  

--Baker

Ideas....

This will be a quick post as I'm really just going to ask a few questions and let you all do the work!  I do like the idea of being lazy in a post, but not on this particular issue.

Hoss asked me this morning what to do about DD.  Now, this is an odd question to come out of my sweet man's mouth, but the dilemma is real and one we've always struggled with during our DD lifestyle.  So I'm going to propose the question to all of you and see what insight we may glean from your comments.

Due to my asthma, there are often times when I become sick easier than the average person and my colds/symptoms/asthma flare-ups will result in me being sick far longer than the average person.  The problem is huge when it comes to the spanking issue as when I cannot breathe it's unfair for Hoss to spank.  Does that mean my mouth knows when to stop or that I do not struggle in other areas?  Yes!  Just kidding, because I would not have written this post if I was a complete angel when I am sick, would I? 

So the basic premise for this post is that we are looking for other alternatives that Hoss can use that would help us when he cannot spank.

So start typing, folks, Hoss we really want to know what are some other corrections out there that can be "implemented" without spanking that have worked for you!

Thanks, ahead of time (I think), I know Hoss will definitely appreciate it!

--Baker

Pondering...

I often ponder my purpose in Blogland.  I have asked myself these questions (and probably many more) over the last few months as I try to sort out my feelings about blogging and Blogland in general.  I know this is more of a reflective, internal evaluation of myself, but I also feel other bloggers and maybe readers will be able to view this and consider some of the questions for themselves. 

Come on, follow me down the rabbit hole or labyrinth, whichever you prefer to call it.  Right now, I'm calling it a bit of a maze my brain feels the need to travel down.

I guess the main question is rooted in the following. 

Why come here and blog?  Isn't this whole spanking thing suppose to be private and personal?  I mean this lifestyle is something most of us hide from everyone close to us in our real lives.  Why share it with strangers or anyone for that matter? 

I'm trying to figure this out and answer it.  It's maybe not so much the why as it what purpose do I feel writing about our lifestyle meets.  I originally came to make friends.  Check that box!  I've done that aplenty.  Even been able to make me a few "not friends" in the process.  I've made my way through and found those whose lives are, in some cases, quite a bit like ours and I've also found friends who are so vastly different but so accepting.   Some are older, a few are younger or close to my age.  All are kind, generous people, who, like Hoss and I, are on a journey to nurture our marriage in an unconventional way.  Those are the friends I've kept close.  I learn a lot from each dynamic, each perspective, but I no longer need blogging to make friends. There's always room for more friends, but it's not my sole purpose for blogging any longer.  Question is... do I need it for other reasons?

Those thoughts lead me to the next questions.

Is there a point to sharing our story?  In other words, does blogging serve a purpose in our lives?  Are we educating anyone around us or is it simply a journal?  A log of our journey?  

Mostly, I think there is a point.  It's just sometimes I struggle to find what others would find so interesting.  I've spoken to other bloggers and I believe that many wrestle with the idea that what they have to say is important.  I wonder if sometimes that is why I've stayed out of the picture for so long.  It's easier not to come back, even if I want to.  Because then I feel the responsibility to blog often and blog well.  I also love to entertain while I write.  I do not want to bore anyone.  I just want to show that even at this busy stage in our lives that we, too, can have a DD lifestyle.  That it isn't relegated to those couples without children or those whose children are grown.  I believe we all want to show that Blogland is a place of diversity.  That all are welcome regardless of what stage of life they are in.  That each has a place or a purpose.  We are all educating others through using our lives as an example to many.  We show there is no right or wrong way to live this lifestyle.

Do others out there actually learn anything from us?  Maybe...at least I hope so.  I'm just never sure.  I mean, seriously, folks.  I know each of us wants to make an impact here.  Whether the blog is for journaling or just to connect with others or to process their journey.  I think all of us want to have an impact.  I'm just not always certain if the impact is the one I want to make.  I know I can be very silly and perhaps even witty at times, but I do take our lifestyle very seriously.  If I don't, I know my sweet man will remind me too!

Maybe a further idea or question would follow along these particular lines:

Does this journey make sense to anyone besides Hoss or me?  Do we have a particular place in the land that represents a certain type of people?  Maybe...but I think everyone is welcome.

I like to think our journey is different than others in Blogland.  We have many children, I stay at home, my husband works more than most, we are busy outside of just those factors.  I think it's our journey.  I feel the blog reflects that, but does it make sense to others.  I often wonder if anyone else gets anything out of what I post.  Some days it does not make sense even to us why we try so hard to make this work, except the benefits, are so great.  I mean the closeness, the beauty of it all, the intense love we feel for one another.  We just pray we are using the blog that in a way that shows others all sides of the story.  That we are not sugar coating that it can be rough, but that it is rewarding as well.

I guess to go along with an earlier question/concept about blogging...

Does it help having friends in Blogland and if so what purpose do they serve?

I have very good friends here in Blogland.  People I trust.  I could be just as happy just chatting with them without showing up and writing here.  I wanted to actually blog to make friends.  I needed the support.  I have that now, but somehow blogging still feels important.  That there are others out there that may want to be encouraged, that are situations similar to us.  Raising children.  Trying to remain deeply committed to one another.  Enriching our marriage.  But the friendships, folks, if you do not have a friend from this community I can not emphasize the value that person can bring.  The wisdom.  The insight.  The encouragement.  The honesty.  The ability to commiserate when one is facing or has just faced the barn burner of their lives....That is simply priceless.

So, I guess all I've done is simply spilled my guts out for all of you to view.  What is that saying, the good, the bad and the ugly?  Well, today, I kind of shared all of that with all of you.  I think a big part of me just wants our journey is something that someone else can see that this can be done.  That we're not the only ones going through this process with kids and work and all the stuff that makes our days pass by.  That maybe we are having an impact, no matter how small, on the world around us.  I guess, that's probably what everyone else desires too.  That they have come here, to this place, and made a difference.

--Baker

Mr. Owl...How Many Licks?

The other night I was reading Nora Jean's post to Hoss without telling him the name of the implement she was complaining about until the very end.  See Nora Jean's post here:  //Https:livingalovinglife6267.blogspot.com  When I showed him the picture he smiled and thought her husband had made an excellent choice in purchasing that particular implement.  You see, Hoss has an affinity for bath brushes.  It was one of our first choices as our local Wally World sold them for a good price and it was something that could, if we chose, left out without odd questions from the children.  So Nora Jean's post brought a smile to my man's face and a laugh when I read him her comment.  To point out a bit of discrepancy.  Our bath brush is more of a bath sponge, but as I pointed out to Hoss the part that swats is the same.

Then Hoss' smile widened and he asked me a question that had me wondering the same thing.  How many swats had dear Bertha, our christened bath brush, bestowed on my posterior?  Seeing this particular implement has been around for almost our entire DD relationship I begged to pardon maybe instead of figuring that out we should just retire her.  That got me nothing, but a dirty look from Hoss.  So I played along and suggested several tens of thousands of swats.  He smiled and suggested Bertha had a bit more to give.  Ugh! 🤣😂 That man!

The next words out of his mouth we're to suggest I post about our discussion.  So here you have it.  Bertha gets her own post!  Again!

So what do you all figure is your lovely spouse's favorite implement and how many swats do you think it's endured?

I contend that it's the age old question of how many licks to get to get to the Tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop.  You know the old commercial when the boy asks the wise old owl that question.  And the owl answers three? Well, I think the owl got it right.  By the third lick I'm usually done.  Done with Bertha.  Done with spanking.  Done with pretty much everything.  But Hoss insists on more.  When it's all over....that's when I agree that this is all worth it.  The during...not so much.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.

So I'm curious what is each couple's go to implement and how much use does it get?  Is your number the magical three or a hundred?  Also how long have you had it?  If it's his/her hand you can skip that question, lol!  Is it your favorite or dreaded implement?  Share your beloved implement's history.

--Baker

PS: This is our 100th post.  That's kind of exciting to us!

Consistency

Hoss has a word for 2019.

Bet you cannot guess what it is...

The word is consistency.

It's almost like a new mantra.

He uses it by itself. Saying it slowly as if I might not understand.

Consistency.

He uses it in sentences.

Consistency is our new word, sweetheart.

We must have consistency to make DD work.

Consistency makes the whole house run smoothly.

Maintenance every night is one way to show consistency.

I smile at him.

I also shake my head.

He smiles back.

He means it when he says consistency.

It floats right off his tongue like it's magic or something.

Hoss will say it with a slightly different tone.

In this tone, he's referring to how I should also find consistency.

You need to be consistent.

You need to remember the need for consistency.

I agree.

I need to be more consistent.

I need him to be consistent.

I want him to be consistent.

I thrive on it.

It makes me feel secure.

I also know that when he is consistent, I feel his love.

You know what I also feel?

BERTHA.

That word consistency also has a new meaning.

It means Bertha's going to be consistently biting me in the butt!

Consistently yours,

--Baker

What Do You Get In Trouble For?

I know...I know... it's really none of my business.  But I'm so curious I cannot stand it.  This is all Amy's fault.  She started it.  I promise you.  We have been having this lovely little conversation about what our men spank for and what they do not believe in spanking for and thus...a post is born.

She has a way of doing that to me....  Making me think and all.  I'm not a particular fan of overthinking, well, maybe I do..I really should think on that some more.

Anyway, that is not what this post is about (it's not about overthinking in other words). It's all about what do you get in trouble for?  As in what makes your man (or woman in some cases) feel he needs to take you in hand?  What lights the fire in his eyes or the twinkle?  What pushes him to want to reset your fanny?  Is it your mouth, a sly look, a rule that you did not follow?  So many possibilities.

Now, for a great many of you who do this for fun, meaning it's a playful part of your relationship, do you ever find yourself on the receiving end of a little harder than normal swat due to something you said?  Or maybe, he knows you like to be spanked hard, so he gives you those feathery brushes with a flogger that drive you mad?

For those who do resets, what constitutes the need?  Do you have to shout out that you need one or does he notice your kindness slipping, your words becoming harsher?  What motivates him to say enough is enough?

Now, what about those who are more into DD like Hoss and I are?  Does it take breaking a rule, smarting off, being outright defiant (pretty sure on that one, but you never know).  Here it takes losing my temper at him or forgetting my check ins (those little buggers sneak up on me some days even with my trusty alarm set).  It could also be that I'm really short tempered and instead of venting lose it rapidly on him.  Maybe it has to with me being so overwhelmed and I just need something to bring me down to earth and calm me down.  He reads me, that man of mine, and I love him for it.  The rules... I have a love hate relationship with those, but that's okay...I want them and he knows I need them to function to be the best me I can be.

What does he not spank for or why wouldn't he spank?

When I need to be held because I feel I'm failing.

When I am sick and he needs to care for me and make me feel better.

When I feel lonely and need his touch.

When I am vulnerable or weak.

When he messes up.

When I'm sassy and teasing and playful....unless I cross a line...he says he loves me sassy.

Those are just a few reasons...I'm certain there are more, but than I'd have to do some more thinking, and well, who knows what other posts would be birthed out of that...ugh!

What about those in more of a d/s relationship?  Those roles are more likely to be tighter defined would be my guess, but are there things he would definitely spank for and others he would ignore?  Does he always spank or are there other ways he makes you feel submissive or in the right head space?  Can you get away with playful teasing or being downright sarcastic?

These are just ideas and thoughts floating around in my head.  Thanks, alot, Amy...geez woman as if I don't have enough stuff wandering around up there trying to work their way around that maze of a brain of mine!  (Just in jest people, Amy, has a wicked sense of humor, too.)

So, my challenge to all of you out there is to encourage you to share what gets you in trouble, but even more what does he not spank for?

--Baker