Thanks to all of you for your wonderful suggestions on my last post. Writing the post helped me process my feelings and help set my mind straight. As usual I was overthinking things too much. Submission was happening, learning to submit more is happening, and following his lead is happening. I just underestimate myself sometimes and feel I am not doing enough to show him submission. Yes, there are many ways I need to improve, but I tend to put a lot of internal pressure on myself to constantly do better. As I said, I need to pay more attention to the ebb and flow of things and not read so much into it. If I stumble, it is okay. My man does not expect perfection. Those feelings come from me and me alone. So, I just wanted to thank all who took the time to comment and to let you all know that your wise words were valued here and much appreciated.
One of the things I took from several of you was that submission is a gift. It is something I can give my husband freely and it is to be cherished. It is not meant to be easy necessarily. I do not feel I would stretch and grow if it were too easy. There are times, I do find it incredibly difficult to submit. To the point that I fight myself internally in order to achieve, or more times than not, falter in this area. I am naturally stubborn and will bulk even when what my sweet man wants for me, for our family, for us is not unreasonable, just out of my comfort zone. It is helpful to know others of you struggle, just like me. I am actually glad (well, maybe not happy for your backsides) but content to know I am in such good company. That everyone of you is working to better yourselves, your marriages, your lives in however ttwd/dd works for you and your husband. I know for some of you that is simply to play with little or no discipline. Others of you use a gentler version of dd, some are solidly dd and others have told power exchange dynamics. It’s all good. We can all still learn from one another. I like to know that I am learning from each of you. That no one is striving for perfection either. I find comfort in that. I like knowing that even after many years you bloggers that have been around for awhile are learning right along with me. That the new ones are not failing, just learning and growing, trusting. It’s such a beautiful give and take cycle that is lovely to experience.
So thank you all again for patiently listening to my journey and being listening ears, open hearts and giving words of support and encouragement. You are helping me to see and learn and love. What a blessing!