Wednesday, January 18, 2017

My Gratitude

Thanks to all of you for your wonderful suggestions on my last post.  Writing the post helped me process my feelings and help set my mind straight.  As usual I was overthinking things too much. Submission was happening, learning to submit more is happening, and following his lead is happening.  I just underestimate myself sometimes and feel I am not doing enough to show him submission.  Yes, there are many ways I need to improve, but I tend to put a lot of internal pressure on myself to constantly do better.  As I said, I need to pay more attention to the ebb and flow of things and not read so much into it.  If I stumble, it is okay.  My man does not expect perfection.  Those feelings come from me and me alone.  So, I just wanted to thank all who took the time to comment and to let you all know that your wise words were valued here and much appreciated.

One of the things I took from several of you was that submission is a gift.  It is something I can give my husband freely and it is to be cherished.  It is not meant to be easy necessarily.  I do not feel I would stretch and grow if it were too easy.  There are times, I do find it incredibly difficult to submit.  To the point that I fight myself internally in order to achieve, or more times than not, falter in this area.  I am naturally stubborn and will bulk even when what my sweet man wants for me, for our family, for us is not unreasonable, just out of my comfort zone.  It is helpful to know others of you struggle, just like me. I am actually glad (well, maybe not happy for your backsides) but content to know I am in such good company.  That everyone of you is working to better yourselves, your marriages, your lives in however ttwd/dd works for you and your husband.  I know for some of you that is simply to play with little or no discipline.  Others of you use a gentler version of dd, some are solidly dd and others have told power exchange dynamics. It’s all good.  We can all still learn from one another.  I like to know that I am learning from each of you.  That no one is striving for perfection either.  I find comfort in that.  I like knowing that even after many years you bloggers that have been around for awhile are learning right along with me.  That the new ones are not failing, just learning and growing, trusting.  It’s such a beautiful give and take cycle that is lovely to experience.

So thank you all again for patiently listening to my journey and being listening ears, open hearts and giving words of support and encouragement.  You are helping me to see and learn and love.  What a blessing!

--Baker

14 comments:

  1. Hi Baker, I went back to view the comments and there were some wonderful suggestions. I'm so glad they have helped and given you some peace of mind. This is definitely something we all struggle with at times.

    As you said, submission was happening, perhaps when we are feeling as though submission is eluding us it's a good idea to take a step back and think about the ways in which it is actually very much still present.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Totally agree with you, Roz.
      When I did take a step back I was able to realize I was submitting in several areas, but simply sidetracked in others. Everyone's encouragement and ideas helped in setting me straight. Thanks!
      --Baker

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  2. So happy you had so many great suggestions and are in a better frame of mind, Baker. Remember to be easy on yourself and your relationship...Rome wasn't built in a day ya know. Oh and when you are fighting submission...remember whose idea this was and 'suck it up, buttercup.' ;) Sending lots of positive energy your way.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Giving you a raspberry right now, Cat! But unfortunately when you are right, you are right. I did love the sweet encouraging comments from everyone, though. Still giving you a raspberry for your buttercup comment though!
      --Baker

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  3. Baker,
    So funny....... Cat told me that very same thing.
    Ditto from me.
    Meredith

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    1. Giving you your own raspberry, M, for taking Cat's side. Actually you get two raspberries for being a ditto! Lol. You too! (Shaking my head here).
      --Baker

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  4. I always think that is important for me to share the hard times so those just starting out will know that one never really arrives at submission. It's just a journey.

    Ella

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    1. Thank you for being the voice of reason, Sweet Ella! Sending you hugs! Those last two commenter got raspberries for reminding me of my need to suck it up. It is a journey, thank you for the reminder.
      --Baker

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  5. I'm laughing about Cats and Mere's comments!
    Glad you're feeling better!

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    1. Hi, Minelle,
      I laughed too, but don't encourage them. They're in trouble with me for having to remind me that I was the crazy one for suggesting this to my sweet man to begin with. I would not change this for anything, though. Still learning on this journey.
      --Baker

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  6. Laughing along with you all those getting raspberries and those saying suck it up buttercup TTWD/DD is like the Never Ending Story, It just keeps on going and we learn all the time. Relax and enjoy the journey whether it be bumpy or smooth.

    Hugs Lindy xx

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    1. Lindy,
      You are so right. The never ending story is a great description of ttwd/dd. Glad you enjoyed the banter.

      --Baker

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  7. I loved your statement that it's not failing, but learning - this is an important concept for the perfectionists out there (of which I am one!) to take to heart. It can be hard to measure up to one's own high standards; that is one reason I am so grateful for this lifestyle...when I am overly criticizing myself about where I am on the submissive journey, I have a husband who reminds me that the only standard I have to meet is his!
    On a side note...my husband and I have been talking about your work on writing a schedule and your mixed feelings about it and...he decided this was work I needed to do too!! So thank you (?I think?) ;) now I am planning out my days and reporting in. It is a struggle, but a good one.

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    1. Thank you, SE,
      As a perfectionist myself I totally get the being too hard on yourself. I'm glad your husband reminds you that it is his standard you need to meet!

      My schedule is finally working in my favor, most of the time. I've finally "got over myself" and decided to do things his way. Yup, as always it works better doing things his way. I'm finishing the things I set out to do and that in and of itself is helpful. Less of those distractable "squirrel' moments for me.
      --Baker

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