Well, That Got My Attention!

Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve felt like sharing a good story from my life.  This one has been tormenting me for a few days, asking to be written.  So I’m going to do my best to share it and hopefully it will lay itself to rest after getting it all out there.  

My brood, give or take a few!

This past weekend found me mothering our brood alone.  It happens occasionally around here of a weekend, but not very often.  I like my man to be home, but an overnight away is just something that happens.  I had not felt well Saturday afternoon.  

PMS was in full swing and well, it was chilly and damp outside and I curled up in my bed and ignored my responsibilities.  My children are old enough to fend for themselves and I answered several questions on food choices, TV shows and the like, but for the most part I slept or read my afternoon away.  No problem really.  Nothing was on the schedule that had to be done.  It was a great day overall, except for one big thing that is a source of frustration for me.

(Yeah, that, but sometimes...)

Those children of ours have absolutely no concept at how messy they really are nor did I give it much thought Saturday night.  Unfortunately, this would not even occur to me until the next morning when I ventured out of my little hiding spot to find my kitchen in absolute ruins.  Okay, the main things were still standing, but dishes covered the kitchen table, counters and the sink seemed to have been the source of the overflow.  This happens anytime I am under the weather and they are allowed access to the kitchen.  Still it was irritating because I should have checked before the people went to bed to make sure they had at least made an attempt at restoring order to my very out of order kitchen.  Kids are always trying to fly under the radar and well, as Hoss reminds me, kids will try to get away with any and everything they can.  

Well, the man had returned in the wee hours of the morning and was still asleep, so I bit my tongue at the mess and hustled people around for church.  After church is where this story took a turn for the worse.  

I came home and Hoss was at the computer desk trying to catch up on some things.  I came up and began calling children to come and help.  Okay, I was ranting and fussing at people to get their bodies in the kitchen to help me clean up so that I could make lunch.  I was a bit “testy”, (okay understatement of the century) but I quickly turned from fussing to yelling and well, then somewhere in the midst of my rant I heard a voice call my name.  

Um, no it was not a sweet child calling for their mommy.  Nope, it was a big man, calling me to him. A big HOH of a man, who was not happy with his wife destroying the peace of the family by pitching a royal fit over something that really in the grand scheme of things could be easily fixed.  I told him to wait.  I was not done yelling at people.  (Just so you know this is not advice here, I'd probably be the worse person to ask for advice in a situation such as this.)

I could have asked to do this....

He left the computer and made a beeline to where I was in the kitchen.  Calmly asking me to take a chill pill.  I would love to say I took a deep breathe and answered kindly, I did not.  (I hear you all shaking your heads right now, just wait, it gets worse.)

So should have done this....

I sort of turned on him.  He said, “Why don’t we discuss this downstairs without listening ears?:”  Naively, I agreed because I’m sure I could persuade him at this point to hear my side.  I kept talking at this point, trying to explain my point of view.  He told the kids to do a few things and then we headed to our room to talk.  We went a floor away and on the other side of the house for our “discussion”.  Who was I kidding? There was not much discussion to be had.  

Now, typically, we have a bit of a rule that we deal with things when the children are not home, outside, or sleeping.  Let’s say he made a bit of an exception reminding me quickly and rather firmly that yelling at our children in temper is not acceptable and would not be tolerated.   After a very short amount of hard swats I came up agreeing that yes, that I’d disrupted the quiet restful afternoon and I’d be remedying that like, um, now.   To tell you the truth, for once it did not take much to get my head wrapped around what he was saying.

I did not dare suggest that....

Then I was fretting that the children may have heard though and he assured me they could not.  He’d been quiet.  I had been quiet (well the mattress heard everything, but it’s not telling). The kids were far enough on the other side of the house carrying on in the noisy kitchen.  So after some cuddling and a lot of reassurance I took a deep breathe (the one I should have taken to calm myself down before we had made the trip downstairs) and we ventured back upstairs to handle the situation together, without yelling.  

Funny thing was my submission was at a high level all day.  I felt no need to argue or fuss and my heart felt nothing but love towards him.  I was deeply impressed by his quick and decisive actions.  It was such a relaxed afternoon and lunch was delicious.  The fuss I had made took less than 30 minutes to clean up once we all pitched in and helped and though it pushed lunch back a bit it was well worth it.  I was able to return and talk calmly and enjoy some nice time with the kids and not feel I was a horrible mom for losing it.  Our kids never blinked or questioned where we had gone, they were just happy their mom was back and apparently her sanity had been restored.  I do think that the few times that he has taken care of things right then and there is when we have seen some of our greatest growth.  

As a side note.  I am still taking questions for March's Q and A and plan on getting a post on those out soon.  Thanks for stopping by.  
--Baker