Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing each one of you a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving Day!   I am grateful for many things this day and feel very blessed to live in this beautiful country of ours.   I am thankful for God, my loving man, my beautiful children, extended family, friends-old and new (including all of you), and all the plentiful things that make my life easy and simple that I take for granted on a daily basis.

I leave you with a few pieces from the Proclamation for Thanksgiving Day that President Abraham Lincoln decreed to bring our great nation together for a day of thanks for your thoughts and consideration.  (This is not the whole proclamation which is lengthy and wordy, but these were my two favorite passages).  Hope you enjoy it!

October 3, 1863

By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God....................

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens............

--Baker

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

I found great joy in reading everyone's sweet comments on LOL days as well as visiting so many wonderful bloggers.   This is very much a diverse group with lots to share.  I am learning so much from each one of you.   So thank you for joining me in celebrating my first ever LOL Day.  So a little bit of this:

A little bit of that would be my first meme thing.  So, while I was out visiting other blogs I came across Lilli's blog, These 3: Faith, Hope and Love.  She had a lovely little meme for a husband to answer on behalf of his wife meme.  I've been wanting to do a meme, but have not found the time, so I decided to bring hers over here and have my man fill it out (so I did not have to find the time, he did).  I thought it would be a fun way for you all to learn a bit about me, from my man's perspective.  He knows me pretty well, so here goes (additional explanations in parentheses are mine):

What is something I always say?  

     -"they're stopping!!!!!"  (this would be in regards to my backseat driving and drivers in front of us)

•What makes me happy?  

     -seeing the kids succeed

•What makes me sad?  

     -discipline 

•How tall am I?  

      5'07 (he gave me an extra inch!)

•What's my favorite thing to do?

       -read (absolutely)

•What do I do when You're not around?

       -read

•If I become famous, what will it be for?

     -writing

•What makes you proud of me?

      -your character

•What is my favorite food?  

      -ice cream 

•What is my favorite restaurant?  

     -Texas Road House 

•Where is my favorite place to visit?

     - Tennessee - Great Smoky Mountains

•If I could go anywhere, where would it be? 

        -Tennessee 

•How do I annoy you?

        -back seat driving

•What is my favorite movie? 

      - The Blind Side

•You get a phone call that I am in trouble, who am I with?

  -S (she's a sweet friend, but my man says her mouth is unfiltered!)

I'd love to see your answers (well, your spouse's answers) too!  Thanks for the idea, Lilli!

So, here's a few little random sillies that I found to start off your Tuesday with some giggles, because it's good to laugh and be happy!

(Yup, been there, done that with a few kids!  Have you???)

(This is just too funny)

(Too Cute!)

(Where I learned my sarcasm from!)

Have a blessed day!  

--Baker

  

LOL Day is Here!

Happy "Love Our Lurkers" Day!!!

Welcome all who have come to lurk, read, comment and enjoy!  I am so happy and thankful you stopped by for a visit.  I was/am a lurker on many a blog (will be remedying that post haste).  I am new to almost everyone as my blog is only in her infancy stage of life at a little over two weeks old.  I'm would like to use the wise words of Dr. Seuss to encourage you to stop in and leave a comment.  You never know where it can lead you!

Yup, delurking can feel like a mountain to overcome.  

Last year at this time I had absolutely no idea what an LOL day was and only read about it in the last six or seven months on other blogs, so totally not sure what to expect here.  I never commented on anyone's blogs either, but finally became brave enough to send out a few emails.  Guess what?  Everyone was wonderfully inviting!  It was because of one such blogger's persistence and encouragement/support that I felt I could have my own blog, so here I am! 

We are all unique and can learn from one another in so many ways!

Maybe, you are not in a ttwd/dd relationship, but you are in the learning and gleaning from the blogs.  Maybe, you desire or want to bring this type of a relationship to your spouse, but have not done so.  Maybe, you are just beginning and have lots of questions.  Or maybe you have been in this lifestyle for some time and just enjoy reading about others.  Where ever you are on your journey you are welcome here!  So feel free to comment or email me.  

Love what this says!  Such a beautiful perspective about friendships!

Now, it's your turn!  Simply take a deep breath!  Go to comments.  Write a quick "how do you do" and then hit publish!  Oh, it is so easy.  But, if you would prefer not to comment, but want to drop me a line anyway to let me know you stopped in, please email me at bakercarlisle1Cor13@gmail.com.  I would absolutely be thrilled to hear from you!

So, I welcome you, every day I do,

to come and be the youest of you!

--Baker

A Simple Act

Well, I think it is time for a rehash of sorts.  At least that is what is occurring in my mind. Before we added this to our marriage I would be hard pressed to say I was a ready listener to my man's opinions or suggestions.  As he would tell it, "I did not have a voice," and now he does. I come from a long line of strong women and I do not believe I know many who eagerly await a decision from their husbands on any issue, let alone on something as simple as how to drive home.  

Now, I am an adult, I can figure out my way very easily from point a to point b in our hometown.  I rarely need instructions unless it is to clarify a new destination.  So, Sunday night when I was meeting a group of friends at a coffee house kind of thing I thought nothing of simply texting my friend to figure out the location and what time I was to be there.  My man was picking the kids up from a church event, so I was free to go and really no big deal.  I arrived and began chatting with one of my best friends of the group and everyone was giving me a very hard time about the decision of whether to order a hot chocolate or just have ice cream.  

Yes, I know, everyone else was having that coffee stuff, that smells so delish, but tastes horrid to me, but I was in deep internal debate.  The group has heard from my friend how she often brings me hot chocolate, while I tease her about consuming large amounts of coffee which has little to no effect on her.  I know some people sip on coffee for hours, but I can down a large hot chocolate from Starbucks in ten minutes flat.  Well, I have a love/hate relationship with caffeine.  It makes me the energizer bunny for hours, so having hot chocolate at 7 o'clock at night would have some undesirable consequences if I wanted to sleep anytime soon.  I usually avoid hot chocolate unless I'm freezing or know I'm going to need to be up for awhile, like say around ten hours.   So, though my husband does not regulate my caffeine intake I decided neither of us needed that kind of hyper to end our weekend.   On a side note, I do think my friend likes to see me buzzing around on hot chocolate because the conversations we have always end up with a great deal of laughter. Yup, the sillies can really take over and miss shy and reserved can talk a mean streak.  So I avoided a bit of trouble by having some strawberry cheesecake ice cream to settle my ego a bit from all the teasing I had incurred.   

Now, to the point of the story.  We ladies had a lovely evening out, giggling and talking about kids and our husbands and such, and at 9 went to my car to leave.  I called my man to tell him I was headed home and the route I planned to take.  Now, that may sound silly to some, but I was going to need to travel through an area of town that was not very safe to get to the highway that would take me home.  He said, "No, I want you to take....." and you know what I replied?  I simply said, "yes" and did exactly what he said. 

Sorry, thought this one was super cute! 

Not that any of you are old enough to remember rotary phones!

Which I know this is old hat to alot of you, and others of you are going, boring story.  Not so here.  I thought all the way home how much I had changed.  Trust me when I say this, in the past I may or may not have listened.  I would have thought going out of my way to take a different road would have seemed silly at best and would have gone on my own merry way as if he had not suggested it at all.  Rude, you say?  Disrespectful?  Yes, I agree, but my excuse would have been, "I am an adult" and "I can drive where I want, it'll be okay".  I would have done what I wanted.  So, I was impressed with my ability to just heed his word, trust him and know that his suggestion was to keep me safe.    

When I made it home and told him that I had done as he said he agreed that I had made progress.  I did not argue with him about the route or become annoyed that he would suggest it.  A simple thing really in the realm of things, but something I feel proud of and thankful for.  I told him how I would have reacted before and he nodded.  He knew how I would have responded and it easily could have been an arguement.  So, in a small way, I was able to gain a little ground towards the sweet side of life, by simply trusting my man.

--Baker

I Learned Something New!

So recently our family went on a five day trip a half day’s drive from where we live.  There was a great deal of things to be done prior to the trip and I was a heaping helping of stressed out mess for my man to deal with prior to even leaving.  

There was a spanking the morning of our departure, but it had little to no effect on my mindset.  During the trip my attitude continued to deteriorate for some unknown reason.  The harder I tried to get myself under control the worse my sassy mouth spewed forth frustrated and angry words.  I am not proud to say this, but I was being a royal pain in the you know where.  

This trip was complicated by the fact that the majority of the trip required little to no privacy to deal with the stress I was causing my man and family.  Yes, keeping our children out of the loop of the change in our relationship is of the utmost importance.  Though they are seeing me submit more and argue less, the spanking part is well, done privately and away from listening eyes and ears.  

 My man and I did have two very long, uncomfortable talks which he kept requiring me to look into his eyes.  Now, you must understand his eyes tell so many things and I absolutely hated the disappointment I saw in them.  He needed the loving supportive, submissive wife that he loves, he got just the opposite.  A good portion of my attitude continued with:

AND

Do you see the cold look in that woman's eyes?  Yup, that was the air and attitude I was carrying as I still could not bring my stress level to a manageable level, even with the help of my kind man.  I’m not even sure who showed up for that trip, but I can guarantee she was a force to be reckoned with and a lady I hope does not show up again anytime soon.  

So, all of this lead to the following thoughts towards the end of our trip that really helped us both realize how much things have changed in the last several months.  I wrote this out at the time and think it is very pertinent to share, especially for those like us who are new to ttwd/dd.  

I have finally figured out something that has been plaguing my mind this whole trip.  Yes, this was kind of a duh moment here, but learning something nonetheless.  My man also is trying to figure out things.  I suggested to him that I believe a huge part of our problem right now is what we have set in place has been working, and working so well.  We have slowly been making progress.  The reason we are not functioning well this trip is because what used to work doesn't anymore.  Pouting, pulling away, angry words--you get the idea.  What works now is when I get an attitude he has a way to manage that attitude, relatively quickly and efficiently.  When I'm stressed out and need him he can help me with that as well.  There is not this constant source of friction, but rather an understanding where the boundaries are and what lines not to cross.  At home when I cross them usually things can be handled within 24 hours.  Things had gone unsettled for almost 4 whole days.  Here it's just hung over our heads like a dark cloud.  There is not peace only frustration.  His two talks have helped, considerably, but I have been craving more.  We are past the point that he would normally clear the air with a spanking and we both are desiring a reset.  Okay, he is desiring it and I am resigned to it.

The duh moment came to me when I realized my man wants the reset as badly as I do.  We both want the calmness this lifestyle has brought us.  We were driving to a quick errand and I told him I could not wait for tonight for the one on one time with him in our own little tent.  He grinned, a smile I have missed seeing for several days--the mischievous smile, and said he is looking forward to it in more ways than one.  A few swats should get things going he said.  My heart settled.  I love that he loves this as much as I do it.  So, things are improving.  Lots of talking in bit and pieces as time has allowed.  So we found out that the ttwd/dd is working.

So what happened when we got home?  I know that is what everyone is dying to hear.  Well, let’s just say that I literally felt his wrath on my bum in a way I never, ever want to feel again.   I was literally toasted and roasted with Big Bertha the "Blanking" Bath Brush.   Let me just add that the next few days were blissfully calm and peaceful in our home, even if sitting was very comfortable for yours truly.  I had found the reset is what I desperately desired to set things right.  That the guilt for acting so horrid was erased and everyone was happy to see the return of the mommy and wife I strive for daily.

So how do you handle vacations and other times when things can not be handled right away?  What tactics does your spouse use to let you know you are pushing the line or have blazed across it?  I'd really love to glean from what you all have learned.    

--Baker

Did You Know?

Did you folks know that it is not advisable to throw an implement across the room during a spanking?

Did you also know that one should not wretch the implement from your husband's hands to avoid further contact with said implement and your bum?

Did you know that just because the implement is left out in the open that you should not hide it?

Did you know that if you do hide the implement it's replacement will be worse or that when he finds said implement that things will be worse for you?

Did you know, that one should never refuse to turn over for a spanking or ignore the request to lay over your man's lap?

Did you know pinching your man's inner thigh can result in a spanking that you would care not to repeat again, like ever?

Did you know that throwing back your hand during a spanking is an excellent way to detour the spanking however brief the interlude?

Did you also know that if you throw back your hand you could accidentally receive a swat to said hand because he was in the middle of a swing with the implement?

Did you know you are not to pull chest hairs or give your man's nipple a tight twist to avoid a spanking?

Did you know that yelling out rude or snarky comments during a spanking does not make it end any faster, but will quite possibly make it longer and harder?

Did you know kicking and hitting are not necessary recommended during a spanking?

Did you know biting his leg or arm while being spanked can lead to unpleasant consequences?

Did you also know that this type of behavior can lead to a very sore bum that will make you regret your decision to ever bring spanking to your man in the first place?


Yeah, me neither, I did not know, but I do now and I'm not sure I'm willing to share how I found out.....

Please take this for the tongue and cheek that it is meant to be and if you have further Did You Knows feel free to leave them in the comment section below.

Repeat Offender

I am a repeat offender.  I make the same mistakes over and over again and expect different results.  I know, that's kind of the definition of insanity, and I will not plead that as my case.  I just do not always know how to get control of this thing attached to my mouth called my tongue.  It seems to get the better of me most days.  People who used to know me prior to being married and having children would say I had amazing control of my tongue and knew when to hold it and when to speak.  Now, not so much.  Now, I tend to speak whatever I am thinking (or not thinking in some cases) and those things come pouring out with amazing speed and well, to be honest here, it gets me in trouble.  Like, um, let's just say trouble of mammoth proportions.

So, guess who's working on taming her tongue?  Her attitude?  Her tact?  Yup, me.  I am known for being sweet and kind, but my family can feel the brunt of my temper.  Sarcasm is usually my weapon of choice and unfortunately, my kind, thoughtful children are beginning to I inherit this ability.  That of course was never my intention, but it happens.  They do what we do and not what we say (okay, they do repeat what I say sometimes, but I am not helping my case here.)

Well, my hubby does not like me to have a sarcastic attitude.  He says it is rude and disrespectful.  You know where this is going correct?  I become surly and negative when I am sarcastic.  I do not know when to quiet myself and become submissive.  It's funny, that when I do find myself trying to control my tongue I bow my head down and close my eyes and breathe deeply.   I know, very submissive, right?  When I am not attempting to control my tongue I am very animated.   My man would prefer me to take those deep breaths and get myself under control before speaking.  I struggle with this.  I like to have the last word.  I do not like what he has to say.  I want to be right.  Well, that's how things used to be ALL the time.  Now, well, there are consequences that are not fun when I get “snarky” and “sassy” and “rude” to my man.

That takes us to yesterday.  I had been very rude, again (deep remorseful sigh) the day (Sunday) before.  I had gone off to bed in a huff and blamed it on the time change throwing me off.  That and just feeling plain grumpy.  Okay, I was doing my best to avoid anymore trouble.  I was tired, so I went to sleep quickly.  Now, we tend to get up early around here (we meaning hubby and me).    So he was getting ready and I know I needed a bit of a reset.  I prefer he takes care of things before he is dressed because he will usually let me lay over his lap.  I prefer that.  This was not about my preferences though.  He had me lay on the bed, which does not happen often.  I grabbed my pillow and crossed my ankles.  I had been told this helps and it does.  What I did not expect, was him putting my ankles between his thighs to keep me from moving.  I was pinned, folks.  That was really hard for me to take, but actually helped (for the most part) to stay in place.  I still managed to roll to my side at one point, but he was able to flip me right back and keep going without missing a beat (LOL, that pun was not intentional)

I have already been very vocal to all of you about really hating big Bertha, but let me mind those of you who may not know, I despise the bath brush.  My man likes wood.  He likes the way it thuds or he can keep a beat with it, who knows, because I sure do not.  He made it very well known to my backside that he did not appreciate in any way shape or form my attitude from the day before.  Well, funny thing happened as I lay there submitting.  With every swat I felt that attitude fleeing.  I felt the snarkiness run.  I felt the relief flood over me.  All the stress and grumpiness that lead to all the attitude, gone.   It was like I was released.

When it was over, yes, I had a mighty sore bum, but I had something more.  I like the idea of being centered, but also just peaceful.  I like that this gives me a way to reset my heart and mind and I feel like I can cope again.  That I can control myself, especially my tongue.  I went on to have a really good day.  I always have a few minor blow ups throughout the day, especially when I'm more tired during the evening hours, but they were minor.  I was able to feel my man's support as we called back and forth during the day to check on how things were going.  I was able to hear him talking words of encouragement (which I have a hard time doing when I'm having an attitude).  I do not believe I was rude to him during any of our phone calls.  He had a sweet, calm wife and our children had an attentive mommy who listened and did not become frustrated with them.  It works, folks.  It just works.  I do not pretend to know why, I just know it does.  I believe as time goes by my ability to be a repeat offender will be lessened considerably.  What do you think?  Have you found the longer you've done DD/TTWD that you find yourself less likely to be a repeat offender?

Thanks for stopping in for a visit.  I'm happy you came by.

--Baker