I spent a great deal of my week frustrated and feeling negative towards blogging. I posted on Monday and as the comments rolled in my heart sank after several of you found concern in what I had written. I wanted the post to convey how I had almost ruined an entire night of our weekend away by being overly controlling. The post was a failure in that regard. Many of you were concerned that my loving husband was over the top in using an implement twice that I did not like. If I wrote my post in a way that evoked those feelings, I apologize. I can assure you neither spanking lasted over 20 or so swats and neither left me with any lasting damage. He simply stopped the first spanking, because he was far too concerned he would spank someplace other than my bottom because I was dancing around so much. Besides the fact I was not submitting to the discipline and he will usually wait until I can readily submit if I am putting up that kind of fuss.
I wrote the post hoping to help you understand my struggle with control and how upset I feel when I do not readily submit compared to the peace I feel when I do. After reading some of the comments I actually thought it would be best to walk away from blogging for a bit because if I could not share my trials in submission here (where I have been assured I am safe and welcomed) then well, I’ve found myself in the wrong place to share such personal experiences. I will be honest here. I was very hurt. It took a few kind people to write comments that understood what I was trying to say to help me move past where I was at. I also wrote to one sweet blogger friend who reminded me to “cut you all some slack” because we all make mistakes. I really feel the need to publicly apologize to my sweet man for painting him in a way that had many questioned how he treated me. I can assure you that I am very much treated like the spoiled princess that I am and would not trade my sweet Hoss for anyone else in the world. I will plan on being much more careful how I blog in the future, but I also ask that you all adhere to something as well.
One of the mottos my husband and I strive for is to always praise in public and criticize in private. We hold this not only in how we deal with our children, but also one another. I found several of the comments from my post on Monday did not follow this rule very well. I do believe each of you had our best interest at heart, but I need to ask in the future that if you are concerned at any level at what I have posted that you would drop me an email. My sweet man and I are both perfectly happy with where we are right now and I do not expect everyone to understand or agree with everything we do. That being said, I am very much of the belief that everyone has the right to an opinion. I will not stifle your right to speak your mind and welcome you to just let me know how you are feeling in a private email. I’ve always been the shy type and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. If I am feeling upbeat, you can usually tell and if I am not that will probably come across loud and clear as well. That’s just who I am. I am honest and did not want to hide how I felt from anyone, and just ask that everyone please just be a little more careful in the future. Thank you in advance for respecting my wishes, please.
Now, onto my little story. The other morning was the first non rushed morning we’d had since we returned from our romantic weekend away. Typically, if time permits we spend the early morning time before our day begins with some talking, sweet loving and some spanking. Now, I’m in trouble quite often for being sassy as I tend to push things a bit too far and well, bossiness is next in line or talking over him, so well, we regularly indulge in maintenance to help keep those little pesky habits at bay. But not this particular morning. No, this particular morning my sweet man surprised me. He asked me to retrieve our newest spanking implement. A long black leather paddle that we had not experimented with yet, as it looks to be quite loud.
I retrieved this new prize wondering if I was in trouble and what that may mean for my tush. I’m quite the sweetie when I want to be and really could not think of anything that had landed me in trouble, but well, I claim that quite often and it is rarely true according to my man. Sassy or Snarky are more likely to be my morning names, not Sweetness. I was a bit worried as I did not know how leather would really feel. Would it live up to the hype of being sensual or would it be my newest enemy? I climbed onto our bed, already bared from the waist down and laid over his lap on a pillow. He began. Oh, the spanks were soft and I asked him what this spanking was for and if I was in trouble. I practically squirmed with glee when he said it was because I had been so good that a good girl spanking was overdue. I felt the spanks fall and relished in how relaxing and pleasurable he was making me feel. Nothing he’s used before has made me turn into jello so quickly. My reminiscing stops here, but let’s just say that lovely leather paddle and I are currently on very good terms and the sweet loving that followed was quite divine indeed. I truly was in what I like to think of as spank heavens sort of mood! Similar to the southern version of, "thank heavens!" Notice this is plural because it can be used quite nicely when expressing oneself! These are some a few examples!
“Spank heavens, for leather!”
”Spank heavens, that was felt awesome!”
“Spank heavens, you’re my man!”
I could go on, but I will not as I am certain you have the idea by now what I am talking about.
By the way, I had heard stories about leather being better and well, the lovely little good girl spanking was all that it was “cracked” up to be. I am wishing you all are having a spank heavens of a day!
--Baker
If you would like to email me. please do so at bakercarlisle1cor13@gmail.com.
I agree criticism, especially of our husbands, is best done privately if at all. My husband is strict as well. Like you, I like that dynamic and it works for us and it would hurt me if people criticized him for it. Sorry you had a hard week, but glad that it ended with spanking fun!
ReplyDeleteS,
DeleteThank you so much for understanding. It helps that others are getting where I was coming from. Yes, the spanking much enjoyed!
--Baker
Hi Baker,
ReplyDeleteI generally lurk about here, and I am sorry to hear that you were hurt by the responses to your post. For what its worth, I found your post to be a clear sorting of your feelings after an experience of submitting that was mentally and physically challenging for you. It was also a good piece of info about silent implements - my husband and I have been considering giving one a try as our situation sometimes requires discretion.
I thought you captured the difficulty you were having giving up control very well, and I loved that you were able to heal the rift that was sitting between you by making the conscious choice to submit, even when it wasn't 'fun'. That, and the peace you felt after, speak to me about why this type of lifestyle can be so fulfilling.
I am glad to see you are sticking around :)
SE
SE,
DeleteThank you for your comment and understanding where I was trying to come from as well. All of this is a journey (as a few have been so kind to gently remind me) and this all takes time to learn and I cannot rush things (also sweet reminders that I need to hear often). If you want to talk more, please email me, we are only about eight months in, but I love hearing others perspectives on things. It helps me to learn.
--Baker
Hi Baker, I'm so sorry that the comments on your previous post made you feel the way you do. My own comment was well intentioned. There is no way in the world I would want to upset you and I am deeply sorry if I did so.
ReplyDeleteYour morning sounded amazing! GG spankings, and leather are the best :) "spank heavens"...love it:)
Hugs
Roz
Roz,
DeleteI know you or anyone else would never intentionally set out to hurt anyone. I just wanted to make sure everyone was aware that was concerned that there was no reason to be and all is well, but to be careful how things are said. I was so worried everyone would misunderstand and think I was rude to say anything at all, but all is well now. Yes, the good girl was spank heavens amazing! I am one very blessed lady.
--Baker
I am truly hoping that Santa brings me something leather. Sam says there is one present to open privately - not in front of the rest of the family. Will keep you posted.
ReplyDeleteElla
Ella, I showed my man your comment and asked for my own surprise too. He gave me a wicked grin. I hope we both get what we want for Christmas! Do keep me updated!
Delete--Baker
Spank heavens? LOL Baker...that's a good one. Hope you're still in love with that leather if your man ever decides to use it for something other than GGs. ;) Enjoy! Oh and one thing to keep in mind when reading comments or anyone's blog for that matter...you can't see facial expressions or hear tone of voice in the written word. And that can make a huge difference. :)
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
Cat, I always appreciate your words, they definitely help me keep things in perspective.
Delete--Baker
Have a good week.
ReplyDeleteYou too, Leigh! Thanks for stopping in!
Delete--Baker
Baker,
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed your post. Also, I thought Cat's comments very important. People comment to offer suggestions. Great caring is done here.
Meredith
Thank you, M, your thoughts are appreciated. Glad you enjoyed the post.
Delete--Baker
Hi Baker, :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you had some spank heavens fun with your hubby!
I too agree with what Cat had to say there. Lots of caring people around here in Blogland! Many hugs,
<3 Katie
Hi, Katie,
DeleteThanks for coming by and I agree Cat's words are wise.
--Baker
hope you get some fun leather under your tree (to open when the kids are sleeping) :-)
ReplyDeleteHoping the same for you! Merry Christmas!
Delete--Baker
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Willie,
DeleteI agree. We all must make this our own.
--Baker