The List

The following post needs a bit of perlude in order for you to understand where I am coming from.  In the last few weeks and months (even prior to blogging) I have found myself spending an enormous amount of my time (not necessarily spare time) reading blogs and books.  Once I began to blog that time has increased more than my man likes and so lays the foundation for this post.  I hope some of you can relate and provide me with some of your own thoughts and feedback on how to manage the situation I have currently found myself in.  

I have read about many of your husbands having a list or a scorecard or slate.  That is not the kind of list my husband keeps.  Actually, I’m not sure if he keeps a mental list of my transgressions or not as he refers to it as tally marks, but I have yet to figure out how he computes or figures those out.  It’s basically a mystery to me.  

Anyway, wow, I’m already off topic here.  The whole point of this post is not his list, but mine.  He wants me to write one.  Like daily.  To keep me focused.  

I have a list.  It’s in my head, but herein lies the problem.  The problem is called rabbit trails. Rabbit trails are my friend.  I like them.  I enjoy following after them.  

They are more fun than a list of to dos.  A list, requires me to look at it and get things done.  I do not like lists. They are….confining.  I do not like to look at a long list and figure out what should come first.  It discourages me.  A nap sounds excellent.  If it was on the list it would not happen.   No, I’m not lazy. Just easily distracted. i.e. the very reason for the list.  I could sit here all day reading. Reading blogs, reading short stories, reading books.  (By the way, I just spent several weeks reading PK Corey's Cassie series, AWESOME!  Put it on your reading list if you have not already read them).  I could read my life away and forget to eat or aimlessly munch on things I should not eat.  I can fall asleep reading, just to wake up and read some more.  

So, herein, the list.  He wants me, to write one, daily.  I have been asked, nicely, to write the list.  I have been requested, sternly, to write the list.  I have written a few posts now, tons of stories and journals in my lifetime, and yes, heaps of lists--when I worked outside our home I was the list queen. Not so much now.  I have spent the last 14 years avoiding writing them like the plague.  It was no problem when the kids were younger and I had less of them.  I could keep track and my sweet mom came several days a week to help me keep up.  Maybe she was the one making the list.  Who knows?

Well, now it’s up to me to make the list.  I do not need to be told the benefit of the list.  I just do not like it staring at me throughout the day as I while away my day doing other things. Things from the list may get done, but it is not efficient to write a list and walk away never to look at it again.   So, I not only need to write said list, but actually attempt to complete everything on it. 

Bored, yet?

(Okay, I will)

Okay, folks, the bare bones issue here is control.  I want to control my day without following a schedule or a list.  To do things on a whim, if I so desire.  That does not work here anymore.  I have too many day to day tasks that must get done.  For a bit now I’ve struggled with getting everything accomplished or done on a regular basis to my man’s satisfaction. So, now we are getting to the point that he is requiring changes.  That he is asserting his HOH dominance.  The other day, I was spanked prior to being asked for the list to be written and done.  Why, because he knew he had my full attention, over his lap.  The follow through is very important here.  This is new territory for us.  I believe he is leaning towards the list as a spankable offense.  Okay, I know for a fact he is most definitely looking at that possibility.  I think that’s a bit hasty on his part, but as he is finding, I respond well to a spanking to reinforce his desires for our family.  

So, I have consented to this and we have agreed on times I’m allowed on the computer as he feels and I agree it is my largest source of distraction right now.  Nope, I'm not blaming any of you for this, just realizing it's eating away at my time.  He is expecting accountability and submission in this area.  I am to write that list and keep it handy.  I am to do my best to stay on track.  If I get things done I can have plenty of time on the computer, but my times will be limited.  

He is not doing this out of spite or anger, folks.  He is simply asserting his right to a happy, peaceful home, where things are accomplished in a timely manner and he can trust that all is well.  It will be helpful to note here that I’m in full agreement, there’s only a little bit of stubbornness and hesitation left.  I have a feeling he will take care of that if I do not let it go soon.

I

(This is advice I needed to hear!)

So, how do you treat your time reading or writing blogs?  How do you keep yourself from losing your whole day to reading or another activity that you enjoy that really should be just for entertainment or a hobby, but you choose to let it rule over your time?  I know this problem is not just limited to us stay at home, busy with kids wives out there.  All of us have things that invade our time in negative ways if they are not kept in their proper place.

Just so everyone is clear here.  I’m happy my man has decided to help me with this issue.  I know it will benefit our family tremendously.  He is giving me a very concrete opportunity to show him submission.  It will not be the easiest thing I have ever done, but it is an area that I need to improve in. So, what's on your list?

--Baker

By the way, we have come up with a schedule of sorts on how to better use my time to blog and that will be the first step in order to ensure the list is done!