Mister Spanks A Lot

I love my hubby, but I’m learning something on this journey that drives me a bit bonkers some days. When we began discussion on this spanking biz, about 11 months ago, he was adamantly against it. Discussions continued and finally things began to happen.  Let’s just say he went from a man who was extremely cautious to a spank happy freak!  Okay, maybe not a freak, but definitely his inner spanko has been revealed.

So, as things have progressed we have learned quite a bit about one another and things that work and things that do not.  He has named implements and ways to spank.  I’m sure they are all familiar with you, but I thought for the fun of it I’d share a bit about the different spanks we have discovered along the way for your reading pleasure.  Feel free to jump in at the end and let me know your least favorite and most enjoyable variety.

Rapid Fire
Of course this is very self explanatory.  Rapid fire means he is going to town on my bum in a quick and decisive fashion.  It is one that hurts and makes me squirm and screech.  One you cannot get away from or catch your breath as the smacks rain down.  Ugh, not fun at all.

Gentle Pats and Taps

These of course are warm ups to bigger things to come.  A gentle caress to warm up for some sweet loving is always welcome.  Or maybe this may come as a reminder to calm myself, everything is good. Regardless, these do not hurt and are typically fun and at times done in jest.  They can also be found when we are in a deep hug where he taps lightly to remind me I’m his.  Yup, good gentle pats and taps.

Hard and Sharp, the Reminder
This is usually one or two that are just plain hard and sharp like I said.  They hurt and are usually felt over jeans or pants.  These are those warnings that suggest that bigger things are to come if I do not calm down.  Some days that is all I need, other times, well, you know, sometimes I have a bit of trouble refocusing. and well, he has ways to help with that, if you get my drift?

Slow and Steady
Another series of ouchie swats, but they are slow, deliberate and usually super hard.  They are not fun at all category.  These are usually done with something wood and well, we all know what wood feels like.  I’m not talking a wooden spoon here ladies, usually something with a bit more behind it.  Also, these are typically punctuated with a question, that I’m expected to answer, um, without sass. Something that makes sense to the situation.  Not always doable, folks,  Just saying….

The Good Girl, Sexy Warm Up
Yes, warm ups are right up there with gentle pats and taps.  It’s fun time with a warm up and usually has to do with a leather flogger that is definitely my friend.  Just realized that flogger needs a nice sexy name....need to suggest that to my sweet Hoss.

Fluid Shock Wave
TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COST. This one is my least favorite, if you cannot tell.  This is where he literally sticks it to me.  Swat, stick.  OUCH!  Wash, Rinse, Repeat.  Just so you know it’s usually a lesson that is driven home literally.   If you have not guessed it, this one happens when things in Baker’s world have gone awry and I'm in for it.  The lecture typically begins with me having been sassy or disrespectful….  Need I say more?

So, do you have ones to add to my list.  Don’t share them with Hoss, just me.  I promise I do not need anymore of the ouchie variety, but I would love some additional good ones to add to my list. Thanks everyone for stopping by and I hope you comment and share your thoughts!

--Baker

Follow Up and Abby's Meme

Thank you for everyone who took the time to respond to my last post, A Thought Provoking Question.  I learned a great deal from your different perspectives. If you have yet to leave your thoughts please do.  I really think we can learn a great deal from one another.  Also PK at New Beginnings had her own 'thought provoking question' that deserves its own comments.  Check it out, if you have not already.

So, onto Abby's meme from Finallly Finding Me


Early bird or night person?  I am by far an early bird.  Even with kids I find it hard to stay up too late.  If I had my choice I'd be in bed at like 8, but more likely it's 10 now that we have teenagers who think it's better to stay up all hours.

Vanilla, chocolate or strawberry?  All of the above!

Summer or winter?  I like winter better if I have to choose.  I really prefer fall or spring to be honest. Less extreme.

Hearty breakfast or just coffee?  No coffee.  NEVER, ever coffee.  Sorry, guys, just do not like the taste. Um, light breakfast, if I eat too heartily then I might as well go back to bed and sleep it off:)

Bright or muted colors?  I guess muted because I love soft greens and yellows best.

Pie or cake?  Must we choose?  I mean really here, it's dessert.  I'll have pumpkin pie and red velvet cake, please!  Throw in some ice cream while we're at it.  Or maybe a bit of lemon meringue or key lime pie.  Brownies, anyone. Hmmm, maybe pie is preferred, I listed more there....okay, pie.

Seaside vacation or fun in a big resort or city?  Okay, wow, this one is harder than Lilli's because I have to choose.  Neither.  I love a hike in the woods or mountains.  I burn easily, so I'm not sure the beach is the best place for me and I do not like crowds of people.  I am not following the rules of this meme well, sorry, Abby.


Dog or cat lover?  Both.  We have three boxers and two tortoise shell cats, so both.  I like chickens too, does that count?



Short or long hair?  So, mine is usually longish.  It's always been past my shoulders and I usually wear it in a ponytail.  My mom asked me once if I'd wear a ponytail when I was old and gray.  I said I'm planning on it, except I've decided mine will be white.  My grandma on my dad's side had beautiful white hair and that's what I'm striving for!

Leather or wood?  Um, leather.  But Hoss so prefers wood, so I'm more accustomed to that.

Baseball or football fan?  Baseball if I had to choose.

Spa day or a day shopping with a friend?  Definitely, shopping with a friend.   I love one on one time with one of my friends or one of my daughters.  Wow!  Answered three in a row without difficulty, do I get a surprise?  Maybe I can follow the rules a bit.

Live concert or movie?  Let's just say I do not like crowds or lots of noise.  So, I'm going with movie in bed with my man.

Wrap a gift with paper and bow or a gift bag?  I do both depending on what I have available at the time. Also, not very good at either.  My sister got the ability to wrap things beautifully gene.  Just be happy it's not a Walmart sack some days.  Sorry, back to not following the rules again.

Help build a snowman or stay inside and make hot chocolate?  I usually stay outside long enough to snap pictures of my kids and then go make hot chocolate and puppy chow.

Four seasons or California climate?   Four seasons all the way!

Driver or passenger?  Passenger with Hoss, almost always.  Drive a ton with the kids, so I guess I do driver more often.

Pajamas or a night gown?  How about a pair of sweats?  I like nightgowns in the summer and jammies in the colder months with a robe or hoodie sometimes as Hoss keeps the house at a temperature he enjoys.  Though thanks to some encouragement I am working on simply relying on Hoss to provide the heat, if you get my drift.

Bake a cake or go to your favorite bakery?  I typically make the cake, but we have done bakeries in a pinch.

Theater night...musical or drama?  I love a good musical.

Okay, Abby, that one was really harder then I thought.   Sorry I went a bit meme happy at the end.  Two thoughts.  Now, I'm hungry and want pie.  Secondly, I'm apparently not in a rule following mood, but this was fun!  Thanks, Abby!

--Baker

A Thought Provoking Question..........

My sweet Hoss and I were talking awhile back and he asked me a very thought provoking question. Now, I wish to ask it to each of you.  Whether you are a frequent flyer (reader or blogger) or if this is your first time here, I would love it if you would take a moment to respond.  His question really made me pause and think....

If your significant other (in our case this would be Hoss) had brought ttwd/dd to you, would you have agreed to participate?  So basically, Hoss asked me, if he had been the one to want to pursue ttwd/dd would I have agreed to participate?

So, dear friends, I am encouraging each one of you to please, if you read this, to respond.   I really want to know what you all think on this subject.  My sweet man took a great risk and leap of faith to say yes to this lifestyle.  I'm curious if the rest of you, if the shoe was on the other foot, how would you have reacted?  Had it been the other way around would you have gone along with this wild and crazy ride?  I know I told Hoss I would.

And for those of you where it was just an original part of the plan (ie you knew before you got hitched or got together) how did you respond?  Did it take time for you to adjust?  Were you an eager and willing participant from the get go?

So, folks, flood the blog with your take on this question.  There's really no wrong answer to this question, so have at it.  I'd really love to hear your opinions!  Thanks!

--Baker


For those of you who would prefer to comment privately, I can be found at bakercarlisle1cor13@gmail.com.  I really do want to hear each person's take on this topic.  

Lilli's Meme

Finally had the time to do a totally fun meme.  Here's Lilli's from These 3: faith hope love.


Who's oldest?  Me, by a whole 15 months.

Who was interested first?  We met on a blind date, so we were both interested at the same time.

Same High school?  No, we lived an hour apart.

Most sensitive?  Depends.  I can be very sensitive at times.  We both tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves.

Worst temper?  Equal here too.  Totally depends on the situation.

More social?  Definitely, Hoss.  I had a meltdown about a women's retreat just a few weeks ago, because I'd have to be around a lot of unfamiliar people.  Hoss walks in and knows everyone!  I kid you not, we cannot go anywhere without him running into at least one person he knows.

Most stubborn?  I'm smiling.  It's me, by far.  I can dig my heels in over the most ridiculous things sometimes.  TTWD has helped alot with this though.

Wakes up first?  We wake up together most days.

Bigger Family?  Hoss has four siblings and I only have one, so obviously him.

Flowers?  He knows I am particular about flowers, so he rarely gives me any.  I do love flowers in the garden though and have grown peonies, roses and sunflowers before as well as others.

Who cooks the most?  I do almost all the cooking and baking here.  If he is making anything, even to grill, I'm usually helping by seasoning the meat or veggies.  Grilling and smoking items is something he has a knack for, so that's his contribution.

Cries more?  Hoss.  I am not known to cry often.

Said I love you first?  Probably Hoss.  He says those words easily, always.  I was not raised hearing it daily, so it's been nice to hear those sweet words and say them often.

Better singer? Um, our oldest kids got blessed with all of the vocal skills.  Lol.  We both like to sing, but our voices are very average.

Better driver? He would say him, but I think he's a distracted driver.  I hate to drive and always do better telling (or used to) him how to drive.

Hogs the remote?  Remote, I do not think I'm ever allowed to touch that thing, let alone use it.  I'm not a TV watcher though, so between him and kids, no chance I'm getting to touch one anytime soon.

Better cook?  Me.  Better baker too, not that he minds.

Clothes And Shoe Hoarder?  Believe it or not he has way more shoes and clothes then I do.

Thanks again for the meme, Lilli!  It was a lot of fun to do.  Hope everyone is doing well and having a lovely "hump" day (for more reasons than its just Wednesday)!
--Baker

Cassie's Challenge

I have a lovely friend I would like to share with you.   Well, she’s lovely as long as she is not coming up with crazy ideas that seem to find me in trouble at every turn.  I have a reader that I have been conversing with for about three months (shortly after I began blogging.) We have heaps of things in common and well, she's quite the terrible influence on this angel of a girl (wink wink).  Let’s say Bea has quite the humorous side.  Let me share a little tale of mischief with you all and before you say I told you so, I know, but this one was too hard to resist.

Hoss and I are back on our low carb diet (I have a very love hate relationship with this diet, but I’m slowly coming around).  Well, a few weeks back we were both having a sweet tooth and craving some ice cream. 
We decided to head over to Wal-mart and pick up some low carb ice cream. Leaving our oldest children in charge we headed out.  Well, let’s just say that whenever Hoss and I find ourselves in a store together one of us gets distracted.  After scouring the yogurts and other dairy items my phone buzzed to say I had an email.  I checked and it was my trouble maker friend, Bea.  I told her Hoss and I were having a mini date. She quickly responded back and before you know it we were chatting back and forth until she found out we were at Wal-mart.  I could feel her excitement radiate through the phone when she announced, “You should so do the Cassie implement challenge with him there!”  

Wait a minute.  No, not going there.  For those of you who have no idea who Cassie is and for those who may have forgotten this little part of her story I will share this little tidbit with you.  In Ms. PK Corey’s first book, Cassie’s Space, Cassie and her friends: Sue, Beth and Annie are trying to convince Cassie to go to a sex toy shop with them.  Now, Cassie has to honor Tom’s request to stay away from such places and when the girls become insistent Cassie informs the girls that she can find ten items at Wal-mart in less than 20 minutes.  Well, at my suggestion, Bea had read all of Ms. Corey’s books, and with Cassie’s influence that day my sweet friend became downright devilish on me.  

Back to my story.  Bea suggested I tell Hoss about the challenge and go find some of those implements Cassie suggested.  I sweetly declined Bea’s request.  She was persistent and continued emailing me suggesting that Hoss would become suspicious and want to know what we were rapidly emailing back and forth about if she kept pestering me.   She also added that should I take her up on that challenge he should use an implement a day for the next ten days.  Sigh, it was fate when he told me to put my phone away.  We hardly ever shop together and he wanted me to spend the time with him and not on my phone.  I smiled and nodded and said I was going the next aisle over to the find the ice cream, temporarily tucking my phone away in my coat pocket.   My sweet friend, Bea, was like a dog with a bone with me.  I am gullible and pulled my phone right out at the next ding.  Sure enough I was on my phone when he rounded the corner.  Hoss then suggested we look at purchasing a cutting board about “yay big” showing me with his hands, in other words, he would find one the size of my bum.  I politely declined and returned to my email, giggling as I responded.  I can be a slow learner some days.

By now, the man is feeling a little disgruntled (and I am certain he was dying of curiosity) that our little mini date was being interrupted and requested my phone.  I hesitated and he suggested the cutting board again adding he would love to try it out in the store to see if it fit my bum. Really? Um, no thank you, sir. Well, I handed that phone over lickety split.  He read through and started asking questions.  I explained the story about Cassie to him and I assured him, repeatedly, that there were no need to do the Cassie challenge then and there.  We had enough toys at home. He loved the idea of trying out an implement for the next ten days. Nah, that would not work he said, the next ten hours.  Or maybe better yet ten minutes per implement.  Yes, well, that went downhill quick, now did it not?   At least, I think he was joking, hmmm....

Not to be mean, but thank the good Lord above Hoss' back was sore and he was ready to grab the ice cream and go.  By the way, his mood was not helped because they only carry the vanilla ice cream and he had his heart set on chocolate.  My mood was helped considerably that I survived without him deciding Cassie’s purchases would be fun to add to our collection or the way he might have chosen to use said implements.  So, thankfully, I was able to escape adding new “fun” implements to our repertoire.  Between Bea and Cassie I was fortunate to come out of that little challenge unscathed.  I was not so lucky the next time I participated in a challenge with Bea.  Another post perhaps?

So thank you to Ms. PK Corey for allowing me to borrow Cassie for this post.  I do hope Cassie had fun coming out to play.  For those of you who have not been blessed enough to read, Cassie’s Space, I would highly recommend the book and the series that follows.  Here’s the Amazon link if you are interested: Cassie's Space 

And to Bea, thanks for letting me share our story.  I had fun and for once, no bottom was spanked for one of our zany challenges.

Finally, thanks to Cat who walked me through a “blogger for dummies” by helping me with step by step pages so now I have my email up on my blog.  Your help was much appreciated!

--Baker

Crooked Halo Week For Me!

Everyone knows that I am not an angel, right?  Well, in case you were in doubt, I would like to share the following story with you all, so you know just how far from an angel I can be at times.

The other night I was feeling put out.  The why and how is private, but it was not in direct correlation with my husband or children, but something I was mulling over and needing to think through.  When I need to think I become very quiet, very reserved. 

My sassiness is usually hidden and I am just for all sake of appearances sad and distant to everyone. This was not intentional distancing, just how I like to process things.  My man knew I was upset and offered to cuddle with me.  I refused saying I was tired.  So much would have been resolved if I had just snuggled up and cuddled right then.  

The next morning I did purposely distance myself from him as I just wanted to be alone.   After a bit of emailing back and forth with a friend I was able to sort out my thoughts and feel better.  Really the whole issue did not warrant any distancing, but the other issue that came up was that I had sort of had a lie of omission to my sweet man by telling him nothing was wrong.  It was not something I had thought about until my friend that was helping me process “got me to thinking”, so when Hoss came home from work I told him. He also called it a lie from the very beginning and requested I acknowledge it as such.  I begged to differ slightly, why I do that I do not know, but the paddle came out and within a mere few swats my repentant attitude was quick to come.  So, though that was a bit tough to go through, it all ended well. Cuddling and a nice evening at home. 

I was good all day Wednesday and we were able to go out for a nice date night whilst the kids were at church.  The problem was the next morning.  I was upended over his lap while he was doing a maintenance spanking and he started naming off a few items he wanted me to add to my list for the day.  Um, okay.  I do not know about the rest of you, but I do not remember too much about what he is telling me during the middle of a spanking.  I can sometimes manage a snide remark or two, which I did, but remember something for later, hmmm, I’m being spanked here!  All of  my concentration is on just getting through.  So, in all seriousness, I do not recommend suggesting you say you are planning to take a pen and notebook to a spanking session to take notes.  

Take my word for it, choose your words carefully when your man is wielding a paddle and your naked backside is already being paddled.  I'm guessing my timing was off a bit with that suggestion. 

Better yet, do not get up from said spanking and proceed to get into an argument with the spanker.  I had asked a simple question, he kind of was in my opinion, rather rude with his answer, and I snapped a bit.  Okay, a lot!  Goodness gracious, I said I’m not a perfect angel here.  I pretty much told him there is no way in the world I should be expected to remember so many details.  Guess who, got paddled again?  Yes, you guessed it.  Me.  Sigh, I wish sometimes I could just slap a piece of tape over my mouth. or perhaps do something like zip that imaginary zipper we used as kids to remind us to be quiet.

Did the second spanking dissipate my snarky attitude you ask?  Hmmm, let’s say no to that and move on. I was on a roll, people, and not a good one at that.  I did manage to cook breakfast and get him out the door without anymore conflict, but just barely.

Did I manage to stay out of trouble the rest of the day?  Um, no.  He sent me a text reminding me that my list/schedule was due by ten.

I texted him I had just dropped off our youngest at PreK.  I was late dropping him off.  So, he sent a text back about being 11 minutes late.  Nope, my reply was I was only 10 minutes late.  I did not count the minute it took me to come back out to the van and text him.  So, his next text reminded me not to be a smarty pants.  Did I listen, folks?  (hanging my head in shame here).  

No, I did not.  My reply when I sent him my schedule, I’m 36 minutes early.  I know you all are thinking, way to poke the bear, Baker!

So, I was kind of having a rough day and he was being patient.  How he puts up with me when I am in a mood like this, I do not know.

I can be very “obstinate” sometimes.  Well, he took care of that attitude promptly when he returned home and all was right again.  That spanking did the trick.  Well, that and a sweet friend reminding me my bum could not take much more today, so to just quiet myself down and submit.  Anyone, else have times like that, where one spanking does not remedy the attitude, no matter how much you (or your loving spouse) wish it did?  

Yup, crooked halo week for me!  Oh, spank heavens, I'm so thankful to be back with a straightened halo to start my weekend.  At least, one can only hope it stays straight.

--Baker

My Gratitude

Thanks to all of you for your wonderful suggestions on my last post.  Writing the post helped me process my feelings and help set my mind straight.  As usual I was overthinking things too much. Submission was happening, learning to submit more is happening, and following his lead is happening.  I just underestimate myself sometimes and feel I am not doing enough to show him submission.  Yes, there are many ways I need to improve, but I tend to put a lot of internal pressure on myself to constantly do better.  As I said, I need to pay more attention to the ebb and flow of things and not read so much into it.  If I stumble, it is okay.  My man does not expect perfection.  Those feelings come from me and me alone.  So, I just wanted to thank all who took the time to comment and to let you all know that your wise words were valued here and much appreciated.

One of the things I took from several of you was that submission is a gift.  It is something I can give my husband freely and it is to be cherished.  It is not meant to be easy necessarily.  I do not feel I would stretch and grow if it were too easy.  There are times, I do find it incredibly difficult to submit.  To the point that I fight myself internally in order to achieve, or more times than not, falter in this area.  I am naturally stubborn and will bulk even when what my sweet man wants for me, for our family, for us is not unreasonable, just out of my comfort zone.  It is helpful to know others of you struggle, just like me. I am actually glad (well, maybe not happy for your backsides) but content to know I am in such good company.  That everyone of you is working to better yourselves, your marriages, your lives in however ttwd/dd works for you and your husband.  I know for some of you that is simply to play with little or no discipline.  Others of you use a gentler version of dd, some are solidly dd and others have told power exchange dynamics. It’s all good.  We can all still learn from one another.  I like to know that I am learning from each of you.  That no one is striving for perfection either.  I find comfort in that.  I like knowing that even after many years you bloggers that have been around for awhile are learning right along with me.  That the new ones are not failing, just learning and growing, trusting.  It’s such a beautiful give and take cycle that is lovely to experience.

So thank you all again for patiently listening to my journey and being listening ears, open hearts and giving words of support and encouragement.  You are helping me to see and learn and love.  What a blessing!

--Baker