Too Close For Comfort, Growing Pains and Different Strokes

So Hoss and I are happily celebrating our first year of dd this month as well as 15 years of marriage.

We were spending some nice quiet time without the kids.  Hoss and I were just sitting next to one another on the bed having a nice bit of chitchat about a bunch of stuff.

He pipes up and says, "Why don't we try out the different implements?"  Meaning let's experiment a bit with the toys in the drawer.  I kind of shook my head as that was not exactly the kind of quiet time I was hoping for.  I was thinking way too long a day to start that kind of play time.

He smiled and said,

"Diff'rent Strokes for different folks," as I kept shaking my head.  

His smile widened and he added, "What?"

 "Eight is Enough?" 

as he lifted his eyebrows trying to get a response from me.

I giggled and sat up a bit and added, 

"How about we discuss...."The Facts of Life?'"  

He smiled broader.  (A bit of a side note we are both word game freaks and are uber competitive with one another when playing any kind of thing that can be turned into a test of skills.)

The game was on!  So the competition was fierce as we both sought to out do the other coming up with the names of sitcoms and dramas from years past that could be twisted and manipulated to relate to DD/TTWD.

Hoss spoke up first with MASH, as in, my bum getting mashed by him.  

Yeah, real funny, I know!

I quickly smiled and asked him, "Hmmm?"  

"Who's the Boss?"

He gave me the look. 

I said, "Um, Growing Pains?"

He liked that one a lot better because we both know "Who the Boss" really is around here. 

Nope, no need to question that one.

I giggled as he added,

 "Family Ties"
A bit tied up maybe?  Maybe not....

and then he had the nerve to add

 "Rawhide" to the mix. 

 Seriously, Rawhide????  

Who wants one of those? 

Okay, I'll admit it,

Yeah, me!  LOL!

Wonder Years 

was one we felt applied quite well to the last year as we explored DD/TTWD.

There were times I wanted to yell, 

"Emergency" as my bum was lit on fire.  

And there were definitely times we took it 

"One Day At A Time"

We were always 

"Mad About You"

And there were plenty of 

"Happy Days" 

and 

  "Good Times"

There were times we were, 

"The A Team" 

or 

"Bosom Buddies"

But a few times he felt I was 

"Bewitched" 

 or in the 

"Twilight Zone" 

or even occasionally, 

"Too Close for Comfort"

In which I in turn felt he was, 

"Breaking Bad" 

and I truly needed to,

"Get Smart"

There were times that we were on, 

"The Love Boat"

as our love,

 "Blossom-ed" 

or we found ourselves, 

"Moonlighting" 

over 

"Twin Peaks" 

or 

"Northern Exposure-s"

Thankfully through TTWD/DD we no longer have to worry about 

"Night Court" 

or having too many, 

"Family Matters" 

as we are definitely the best of,

"Friends".

Our list was finally exhausted, but perhaps you all have some to add to it.  

So, maybe it was not the sexiest way to enjoy our Happy Anniversary, but trust us, it was a

"Bonanza" of a good time.

"Cheers!"

--Hoss and Baker

Happy Easter!

Thought I'd pop in to wish you all a lovely Easter!

Hoping each of you have a little bit of spanking fun and of course chocolate galore!

Have a great day with family and friends or seek some peace and quiet and relax.

Have a blessed day!

--Baker and Hoss

YES! I Have Answers!

Yes, I am finally answering your questions!

Well, you folks totally outdid yourselves with your questions.  I am excited to dig deep and answer all that I can.  It has taken me quite some time to answer all of these, so hopefully you will enjoy my answers to these thought provoking questions.

Let's start with Roz and her two questions.

Question 1: What is the biggest change you have noticed in both Hoss and yourself since embracing ttwd?

I know that Hoss has told me several times I never, ever let him have a voice before we began ttwd and now he knows when he speaks, I listen.  (Well as least the majority of the time I do.  He would definitely say I've improved.)  I would agree with his statement.  I'd say on my end that I am less controlling and more willing to open up to him and let him help me.

Question 2: Who brought ttwd to the table, you or Hoss?

I did.  He was against it at first, but was willing to try if it would help our marriage.   DD helped us to reconnect on so many levels and brought us much closer together over the past 11 months.

Now, onto sweet Abby's questions.

Question 1: You find a dirty old lamp, shine it up and a genie appears to grant you wishes...2 for you and 1 for hubby...what are they?

Wow, um, not sure how I would answer that.  Honestly as I can, I guess.  Okay, Hoss went first on this one.  He said he'd ask for a home large enough for everyone to have their own room (children would never have to share) and acreage with a pond, wooded area, etc.  I'd say mine would be to fulfill my dream of writing a novel someday and for my cousin (who died recently) to be alive and home with her husband, children and family right now.  Sorry, but that's where I'm at right now on that.  When I told Hoss the third answer he kissed me and said I have a kind heart.  To be honest, it's more selfish, wanting to remove a great deal of pain we are going through right now.

Question 2: How did you and hubby meet?

We met on a blind date.  My best friend, also a co-worker at the time, and her husband set us up.  He knew Hoss from work and approached him knowing we had similar interests.  After the first date we began talking daily and had a second date within the week.  I was captivated by his presence and loved being with him every second I could.

From my bestie, Seetheway.

Question: What's your favorite thing about being submissive?

I love being his.  I love when he holds me and tenderly rubs my back.  When he tells me how proud he is of me.  Or when he is being very dominating (which is something he sometimes struggles with as he wants to be fair) and that makes me feel priceless.  Those things melt me and make me want to please him more.

From Miss Cat.

Question: I'm asking everyone the same question that was asked of me several years ago...What four people (and their spouse/partner), living or dead, would you invite for an evening of drinks and dinner?

Let's see.  I would definitely want my grandparents from my mom's side.  Still breaks my heart that they are gone.  Harriet Tubman, because she showed such courage during a difficult time.  Cassie and Tom (I know they are fictional, but really who wouldn't want to have them over for dinner?) Last one, um, such a hard choice between a few different people.  I think maybe my sweet friend, Bea, and her hubby, would be fun to round off the group.  By the way, no drinks, but dinner and dessert.  I'll take some steak, twice baked potatoes, a side salad with honey mustard and for dessert a lovely piece of red velvet cake for me, please and thank you!

These are two questions from Sweet Ella:

Question 1: What is one thing about yourself that you really dislike? 

Ella, it would be hard to choose just one.  So I will not confine myself to the rule of one.  I'd say my lack of organization or maybe, my quick temper would be the ones I struggle with the most.  The ones I want to change the most.  These areas I had fairly under control prior to marriage and having a ton of kids.  Now, they are the areas that upset and embarrass me the most about myself.

Question 2: Do you ever hope that ttwd will be able to help you conquer it?

Hoss has already been helping me to work on both of these issues.  I know the organization (or lack thereof) is the one he seems to target the most.  He really feels like it effects our days the most and I would so agree.  My temper is one that he is also helping me to curb, but that is harder as it is not as easy to predict what may send me over the deep end.

Questions from down under with Ms. Lindy:

Question #1: My question for you even though you are reasonably new to TTWD have you noticed any changes its made yet? 

We are most definitely closer.  We fuss at each other some, but not near as often.  We find that our "exercise" time has increased greatly.  Fun loving happens regularly and often compared to the "lack of exercise" we use to engage in.  

Question #2: What's your favourite part of TTWD. 

Well, this one is hard.  I like most things.  It's probably easier to say that I do not like being in trouble.  I'd rather things be nice, smooth and calm.  So I guess that's what I like best, when things are nice, smooth and calm.

Question #3: How do you manage it with children in the house?

It's very hard.  We have a good number of children and the rule of thumb is to do any spanking related activities early in the morning.  Like 5 a.m. usually works for us, but there are two night during the week that are available due to all the kids being away for church related activities.  So, we have time, it's just hard.  I almost always have to wait and there are times that is excruciating.  

Now, questions from across the pond from Ronnie!

What is your favorite spanking implement and why?

Mine would definitely be the flogger.  Why, because he only uses it for nice, sweet, good girl spankings.  Hoss would answer Bertha the (Evil) Bath Brush.  Seriously, recently I told him that was his mistress.  Yeah, I would not recommend saying that if you value sitting down.  It did not turn out pretty.

Did you have a childhood ambition? Did you achieve it?

I wanted to be a mom and I've done that several times over.  I also wanted to work in some sort of "helping" field and I did that before I became a mom and began to stay home with our kiddos.  Last goal is to be a writer and someday, when things calm down, I may get to do that as well.

(I usually give my children this stare when I'm done for the day)

Questions from our lovely Katie T:

Question #1: What new things have you discovered about yourself since starting ttwd? 

I would say I'm more open to physical affection.  I still get "touched out" some days, but so much better had being hugged, cuddled and the like.  I love that I have relaxed in this area and so does my man.  

Question #2: What would your husband say you have worked hard at to change since incorporating ttwd in your lives? 

Listening to him, giving him a voice.  That is something he's repeatedly said he loves, but also loves that I want to be with him more intimately now.  Our sex life has improved the most.

Question #3: What would your hubby say that you need put more effort into in terms of your submission, if anything? 

He has a lot to say on this area.  I'm sure he could write an essay on it.  Hoss was just saying this morning that he really wishes I would follow through on things.  He says I talk a good talk at what I want to change, but it's very hard to follow through.  I claim that I'm easily distracted, but in truth it has more to do with personality wise I'm slow to change and what I see as progress he does not necessarily find as progress.

Question #4: Have your children ever caught you in a spanking moment?

LOL.  Once, last summer, our youngest came in right after we'd finished a bit of a fun spanking.  I was still laying on the bed, clothes back in place, but on my belly, relaxing.  He came in, jumped up on the bed and started to spank me, giggling the whole time.   Hoss and I burst out laughing.  He obviously had heard something, but we had been giggling and laughing, so he apparently thought we'd been having a tickle fight.  We often "play spank" the kids during a tickle war, so he wanted to join in.  Let's just say it was at that time that we moved to early morning times for those kind of adventures.

Some really good questions from Ms. Annabelle:

Question  #1:So who brought TTWD to the relationship and why?

As I said above with Roz, I am guilty of bringing ttwd to the table.  The why is very complicated, but I will do my best to sum it up for everyone.  About two years ago this summer, I began to go through a significant period of depression.  While reading some stuff on the internet I came across domestic discipline.  Looked into it and a few months later brought it to my man for a fun way spice up our love life.  Then in late April of last year I approached him about it being more away of life.  

Question #2, #3 and #4: What happens when your man is plain wrong? Does he admit it? Or do you point it out to him and how does that make you feel?

Let's see, Hoss is never wrong.  LOL, totally just kidding.  He actually is really good about admitting when he is wrong and trying to fix it.  When I have to point something out to him I have to tread carefully though.  It has more to do with our history and me not wanting him to feel I'm pointing out "all" the wrongs he has ever done.  If I'm sweet and respectful than it's usually fine with both of us.  I think that might answer that question.

Thank you all for participating and I hope I did not totally bore you with my answers.  If you were unable to ask me a question before or just thought one up feel free to drop me an email. 

Well, That Got My Attention!

Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve felt like sharing a good story from my life.  This one has been tormenting me for a few days, asking to be written.  So I’m going to do my best to share it and hopefully it will lay itself to rest after getting it all out there.  

My brood, give or take a few!

This past weekend found me mothering our brood alone.  It happens occasionally around here of a weekend, but not very often.  I like my man to be home, but an overnight away is just something that happens.  I had not felt well Saturday afternoon.  

PMS was in full swing and well, it was chilly and damp outside and I curled up in my bed and ignored my responsibilities.  My children are old enough to fend for themselves and I answered several questions on food choices, TV shows and the like, but for the most part I slept or read my afternoon away.  No problem really.  Nothing was on the schedule that had to be done.  It was a great day overall, except for one big thing that is a source of frustration for me.

(Yeah, that, but sometimes...)

Those children of ours have absolutely no concept at how messy they really are nor did I give it much thought Saturday night.  Unfortunately, this would not even occur to me until the next morning when I ventured out of my little hiding spot to find my kitchen in absolute ruins.  Okay, the main things were still standing, but dishes covered the kitchen table, counters and the sink seemed to have been the source of the overflow.  This happens anytime I am under the weather and they are allowed access to the kitchen.  Still it was irritating because I should have checked before the people went to bed to make sure they had at least made an attempt at restoring order to my very out of order kitchen.  Kids are always trying to fly under the radar and well, as Hoss reminds me, kids will try to get away with any and everything they can.  

Well, the man had returned in the wee hours of the morning and was still asleep, so I bit my tongue at the mess and hustled people around for church.  After church is where this story took a turn for the worse.  

I came home and Hoss was at the computer desk trying to catch up on some things.  I came up and began calling children to come and help.  Okay, I was ranting and fussing at people to get their bodies in the kitchen to help me clean up so that I could make lunch.  I was a bit “testy”, (okay understatement of the century) but I quickly turned from fussing to yelling and well, then somewhere in the midst of my rant I heard a voice call my name.  

Um, no it was not a sweet child calling for their mommy.  Nope, it was a big man, calling me to him. A big HOH of a man, who was not happy with his wife destroying the peace of the family by pitching a royal fit over something that really in the grand scheme of things could be easily fixed.  I told him to wait.  I was not done yelling at people.  (Just so you know this is not advice here, I'd probably be the worse person to ask for advice in a situation such as this.)

I could have asked to do this....

He left the computer and made a beeline to where I was in the kitchen.  Calmly asking me to take a chill pill.  I would love to say I took a deep breathe and answered kindly, I did not.  (I hear you all shaking your heads right now, just wait, it gets worse.)

So should have done this....

I sort of turned on him.  He said, “Why don’t we discuss this downstairs without listening ears?:”  Naively, I agreed because I’m sure I could persuade him at this point to hear my side.  I kept talking at this point, trying to explain my point of view.  He told the kids to do a few things and then we headed to our room to talk.  We went a floor away and on the other side of the house for our “discussion”.  Who was I kidding? There was not much discussion to be had.  

Now, typically, we have a bit of a rule that we deal with things when the children are not home, outside, or sleeping.  Let’s say he made a bit of an exception reminding me quickly and rather firmly that yelling at our children in temper is not acceptable and would not be tolerated.   After a very short amount of hard swats I came up agreeing that yes, that I’d disrupted the quiet restful afternoon and I’d be remedying that like, um, now.   To tell you the truth, for once it did not take much to get my head wrapped around what he was saying.

I did not dare suggest that....

Then I was fretting that the children may have heard though and he assured me they could not.  He’d been quiet.  I had been quiet (well the mattress heard everything, but it’s not telling). The kids were far enough on the other side of the house carrying on in the noisy kitchen.  So after some cuddling and a lot of reassurance I took a deep breathe (the one I should have taken to calm myself down before we had made the trip downstairs) and we ventured back upstairs to handle the situation together, without yelling.  

Funny thing was my submission was at a high level all day.  I felt no need to argue or fuss and my heart felt nothing but love towards him.  I was deeply impressed by his quick and decisive actions.  It was such a relaxed afternoon and lunch was delicious.  The fuss I had made took less than 30 minutes to clean up once we all pitched in and helped and though it pushed lunch back a bit it was well worth it.  I was able to return and talk calmly and enjoy some nice time with the kids and not feel I was a horrible mom for losing it.  Our kids never blinked or questioned where we had gone, they were just happy their mom was back and apparently her sanity had been restored.  I do think that the few times that he has taken care of things right then and there is when we have seen some of our greatest growth.  

As a side note.  I am still taking questions for March's Q and A and plan on getting a post on those out soon.  Thanks for stopping by.  
--Baker

Time for some Questions....

I'll be honest.  I have absolutely no idea how this is suppose to be done in a cool, chic, or classy way, so I'm going to do it Baker style. I've heard around blogland that apparently March is a sort of Question and Answer month.  Now, I love a good Q and A session as much as the rest of you, but have no idea what to ask others on their blogs, so I feel a bit hypocritical asking others to ask me questions. Then I began to realize that I have not been around for very long, so maybe that makes it easier to come up with questions to ask me.   Who knows?  I guess we shall see, won't we?

{Side note: To be truthful, I have no idea, if I'm making sense right now.  It's late and I rarely blog anything at night because, well, I'm not a night owl at all, but I'm kind of fussing about something and so I'm awake because I cannot shut my mind off and sleep.  Sorry, I cannot really share what I'm fussing about, but I just am in a bit of a funk that makes everyone around me frustrate or rub me wrong, well at least today they did.  I'm sure it will pass by the morning.  That is, as long as I can get a few hours of sleep.}  

So, what was I talking about again?  Oh, yeah, I would love to make an attempt at seeing what others would like to know about me, or Hoss and me.  I'm actually kind of curious about some of you as well.   So, I have decided, I will have a few questions that you all can answer along with your questions, and then on Friday or Saturday I'll post my responses.  How does that work for everyone?  I get to go first! So my questions are: 

What is your favorite flower?

 Do you see yourself as an introvert or an extrovert? 

And finally, do you feel you've reached a level of submission or dominance that you are happy with at this time?  

So, I guess my little question and answer is really a bit of a play on the game at hand.  (Smiling)  I truly cannot wait to hear your answers as well as your questions.  Now, carry on, you all have a bit of an assignment to do.  

Oh, by the way, I'd especially like to hear from you silent readers out there.  I know you may have a question you would love to ask, but have not jumped in and spoke up before.  I can remember having a bazillion questions to ask and not knowing who to ask or if someone would think I was silly for asking.   Yes, been there and done that.  

So that goes for everyone, feel free to pull up a chair and say "Hey, let's talk about...." I'd love to hear from you!  

--Baker